East Boldon N0'humbria

[Andy Zarse]

Am once again on the giddy side/,. But only cos i am told i must practivce for my trip on sunday up to new castle to east boldon crickret club for a crhistening.

For those that know this is in Gordieland. what should i expct. I will see byron a some time le manner who is captain of e boldon cricket club and sometimes cricket takes precidence over even le mans apparently.
 I hav blown off and must vacate the room as it stincks ack

[gibberish]

Mmmmmmmmmm

So how was the cricket then Andy, sounds as though the practice beer was good

[Andy Zarse]

Yes, very interesting indeed. Went to the christening then on to the cricket club afterwards for some "refreshment". Unfortunately I became massively "over-refreshed", led astray by my mate Byron, club captain and occasional Le Manner.

My taxi did not turn up to take me back to the Sunderland Friendly Hotel, which incidentally is identical to that place Alan Partridge stayed in. So some kind bloke on a mountain bike said he would give me a backy! So on I jumped in my best suit at 12.30 at night.  After 300 yards the fool stopped and nearly collapsed on the floor complaining of stomach pains. He said he had Khrones? Disease! Anyway he said he lived round the corner and I could bring back the bike in the morning. What a star!

I set off up the hill like Lance Armstrong; I arrived at my hotel fifteen minutes later wheezing like an asthmatic asbestos worker and crashed into the flowerbed by the front door. Then I spent the next five minutes trying to fit the bike through the revolving doors. I had it upside down and back to front but still it wouldnt go. But I did suceed in covering myself in black chain grease. The rather unamused night porter, whom I had no doubt disturbed from his porn film, eventually let me in the side entrance.

So a top day out all round really. BEWARE: Byron is mumbling about coming to Le Mans next year. You have been warned.

[BigH]

Aahh, Crohns Disease.

Not an inflammatory disease of the bowel as most people suspect, but a (highly contagious) variation on the Beer Goggle syndrome.

Next time you and the lads are getting stuck into some serious refreshing and spot an old crone in the corner, then beware, before you can say 'more broons over here barman' she'll become gorgeous and irresistable and you'll find yourself in the morning, struggling to get a slimy grip on reality, reeling with a poisonous hangover and reeking of shame and guilt.

Like most Sundays actually....
H

[gibberish]

There is no doubt that the Commer would have got you into a lot less of a pickle with the night porter

I take it that Mrs Z was not along on this abuse of our northern cousins hospitality

[pretzel]

There is no doubt that the Commer would have got you into a lot less of a pickle with the night porter

No doubt - but how would Andy have got it through the revolving door............?

[Andy Zarse]

There is no doubt that the Commer would have got you into a lot less of a pickle with the night porter

I take it that Mrs Z was not along on this abuse of our northern cousins hospitality

But I can't see how I would have got the Coma thru the revolving door either.

BTW Mrs Z was in Bombay, dodging the car bombs. Two people staying in her hotel were killed in the blast by the Gateway to India. All a bit worrying really.

[Andy Zarse]

Aahh, Crohns Disease.

Not an inflammatory disease of the bowel as most people suspect, but a (highly contagious) variation on the Beer Goggle syndrome.

Next time you and the lads are getting stuck into some serious refreshing and spot an old crone in the corner, then beware, before you can say 'more broons over here barman' she'll become gorgeous and irresistable and you'll find yourself in the morning, struggling to get a slimy grip on reality, reeling with a poisonous hangover and reeking of shame and guilt.

Like most Sundays actually....
H

There were no crones there as far as I could see, only beautiful young ladies. I dont know how they managed to keep their hands off me as I danced like Travolta to the sounds of an excellent local band called the Chunkey Monkeys (say it in a NE accent!)

But there again I might already have been suffering from beergogglitus...

[gibberish]

But I can't see how I would have got the Coma thru the revolving door either.

Well Andy, you'll just have to be more imaginative.  Try KY jelly

[gibberish]

BTW Mrs Z was in Bombay, dodging the car bombs. Two people staying in her hotel were killed in the blast by the Gateway to India. All a bit worrying really.

One hopes that all will be well

[gibberish]

But there again I might already have been suffering from beergogglitus...

Sounds probable

[Andy Zarse]

BTW Mrs Z was in Bombay, dodging the car bombs. Two people staying in her hotel were killed in the blast by the Gateway to India. All a bit worrying really.

One hopes that all will be well

I have put the life insurance policies back in the office drawer. And cancelled the order on the new Aston.

[gibberish]

Shame about the Aston  Good news otherwise