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nickliv
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« Reply #2340 on: June 17, 2013, 07:48:25 pm » |
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They've named an entire sporting complex after Chris Hoy. Seems a tad velodromatic to me
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If I had all the money I've ever spent on drink, I think on balance, I'd probably spend it on drink.
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gatordad
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« Reply #2341 on: June 17, 2013, 10:07:08 pm » |
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I'm sorry, this is just too perfect! http://vimeo.com/66753575 |
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Too Dumb For Opera, too smart for NASCAR
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Jules G
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« Reply #2342 on: July 09, 2013, 10:00:58 am » |
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Odds on being next to pick up the Ashes:
Alastair Cook - 2/5
Michael Clarke - 5/1
Nelson Mandela's family - Evens
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Canada Phil
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« Reply #2343 on: July 12, 2013, 05:35:30 am » |
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I said to the wife, “Get me a newspaper”
“Don't be silly,” she said “You can borrow my i-Pad”
That spider never knew what f**k*ng hit it.
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Brian
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« Reply #2344 on: August 06, 2013, 06:21:20 pm » |
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At the regular Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced that he
was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave
because he is so popular.
Fred Silverstein, who owns several car dealership, stands up and
proclaims, "If the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new car every
year and his wife with a people carrier to transport their children!"
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says, "If
the rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and
establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his
children!"
More sighs and loud applause.
Estelle Rubin, age 58, stands and announces with a smile, "If the
rabbi stays, I will give him sex!"
There is total silence.
The rabbi, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Rubin, you're a wonderful and
holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?"
Estelle's husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead
with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side,
while his wife replies:
"Well, I just asked my Abe how we could help, and he said, "F*ck him."
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lofty
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« Reply #2345 on: August 06, 2013, 07:51:05 pm » |
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how many men does it take to open a can of beer?
it should be open when the woman brings it to him.
as the poison dwarf once said a woman is a domestic Appliance.
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J.E.D.I.
i dont want to be in a club
i want to be in a gang
or perhaps a drinking order
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lofty
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« Reply #2347 on: August 14, 2013, 05:37:05 pm » |
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french roll d bog has always been cr#p
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J.E.D.I.
i dont want to be in a club
i want to be in a gang
or perhaps a drinking order
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landman
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« Reply #2348 on: August 23, 2013, 05:13:09 pm » |
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Three large black ladies were getting ready to take a plane trip for the
> very first time.
>
> The first lady said, 'I don't know bout y'all, but I'm gunna put me on sum
> hot pink panties beefo' I gets on dat plane.'
>
> 'Why you gonna wear dem fo?' the other two asked. The first replied,
> 'Cuz,
> if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare laying butt-up
> in a conefield, dey gonna find me first.'
>
> The second lady said, 'Well, then I'm a-gonna wear me some floe resant
> orange panties.'
>
> 'Why you gonna wear dem?' the others asked.
>
> The second lady answered, 'Cuz if dis hare plane is goin' down and I be
> floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first.'
>
> The third lady says, 'Well, I'm not gonna wear any panties.' 'Wot? No
> panties?' the others asked in disbelief.
>
> The third lady says, 'Dat's right girls, you hears me right. I ain't
> wearing
> no panties, cos, honey, dey always look for da Black Box first.'
>
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Crouch..........bind..........set
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LuxExpat
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« Reply #2349 on: August 23, 2013, 05:34:43 pm » |
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Good bit of racial stereotyping there, Paul.  |
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lofty
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« Reply #2350 on: August 23, 2013, 09:54:41 pm » |
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i is a lovin floe resant
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J.E.D.I.
i dont want to be in a club
i want to be in a gang
or perhaps a drinking order
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gatordad
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« Reply #2351 on: August 27, 2013, 03:16:52 pm » |
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there's gotta be funny jokes without racism, right?
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Too Dumb For Opera, too smart for NASCAR
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lofty
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« Reply #2352 on: August 27, 2013, 07:05:29 pm » |
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yea blonde jokes go down well in France. Dolce and Gabana fashion brand is how blonde french gids remember left and right/
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J.E.D.I.
i dont want to be in a club
i want to be in a gang
or perhaps a drinking order
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Bob U
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« Reply #2353 on: August 27, 2013, 08:15:54 pm » |
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there's gotta be funny jokes without racism, right?
No difference to the old Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman jokes. The word racism was never mentioned then. |
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There is a corner of a foreign field that will be forever England ------ Houx Annexe
And the bastards have built on it.
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gatordad
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« Reply #2354 on: September 05, 2013, 09:38:00 pm » |
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there's gotta be funny jokes without racism, right?
No difference to the old Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman jokes. The word racism was never mentioned then. Not a Race...a Nationality...big difference. We are a bit sensitive to racism here in the good old US of A. |
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Too Dumb For Opera, too smart for NASCAR
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