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pretzel
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« on: July 14, 2003, 11:11:44 pm » |
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Got this in my e-mail today, hope you like it (with apologies to our friends from Liverpool  ) The Ferrari F1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British governments 'Work for the Dole ' scheme and employ scousers. The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed Liverpool youths were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech gear. This was thought to be an excellent, yet bold move, by Ferrari Management. As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every team. However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for at the crew's first practice session, not only were the Scousers Pit Crew able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, rebadged and sold the vehicle over to the MacLaren Team for 4 bottles of Stella, a gram of speed and a quick shifty at Coulthard's bird in the shower. |
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A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink - W.C. Fields
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wishy
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« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2003, 11:18:32 pm » |
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Can they do the same with Subaru Imprezza's?  |
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Stu
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« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2003, 12:30:29 am » |
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Got this in my e-mail today, hope you like it (with apologies to our friends from Liverpool ) The Ferrari F1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British governments 'Work for the Dole ' scheme and employ scousers. The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed Liverpool youths were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech gear. This was thought to be an excellent, yet bold move, by Ferrari Management. As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari would have an advantage over every team. However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for at the crew's first practice session, not only were the Scousers Pit Crew able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, rebadged and sold the vehicle over to the MacLaren Team for 4 bottles of Stella, a gram of speed and a quick shifty at Coulthard's bird in the shower. This was taken and revamped from our local internet newspaper, The Geordie Citizen and originally featured out local riff raff and not those thick liverpool people ( which will no doubt please Brian, Ian and Chris). The original can be viewed here. Apologies if this has previously been nicked. Stu |
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IanB
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« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2003, 01:27:20 am » |
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Love you to SHOWERMAN!!!!!!!
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Gilles
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« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2003, 11:13:48 am » |
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Liverpool young people seems to be mechanic genius... ... they not only are able to change tyres so fast but also shows ability in setting up shower system and attract ginger girls in their place !!! I'm packing right now and move to Liverpool !!!!!!!  |
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Le Mans is life, anything before and after is just waiting...
... it's not the taking part but the winning that counts !
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IanB
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« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2003, 11:19:32 am » |
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we have the oldest chinese community here in Liverpool but I don't think we have a large recognised French community. Gilles your welcome to start one
Regards
Ianb
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Brian(Liverpool boys)
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« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2003, 12:58:59 pm » |
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Not to mention, The City of Culture 2008, ( that should piss Stu off good style.) as we nicked that from Newcastle also. It was gone before they noticed it missing, the thicko's had even hired a plane with a banner declaring Newcastle as the winner's and had to send it down to Liverpool to fly over our city, good job it did not land or we would have had the wheels off that also.
Luv ya really Stu.
Thick sliced.
Brian.
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« Last Edit: July 19, 2003, 01:14:19 pm by Brian.L,pool boys »
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To make your dreams come true, you have to stay awake.
More Low Flyer's anyone.
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Gilles
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« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2003, 05:05:28 pm » |
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we have the oldest chinese community here in Liverpool but I don't think we have a large recognised French community. Gilles your welcome to start one
Regards
Ianb
before to establish a french community in Liverpool I want to know a little more about Liverpool Girls... Do they look like all British Girls ?? Is a crosscultural mixture conceivable ?? |
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Le Mans is life, anything before and after is just waiting...
... it's not the taking part but the winning that counts !
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Andy Zarse
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« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2003, 05:21:06 pm » |
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Not sure if the cross cultural mix is conceivable but certainly something would be conceived. I guess it depends if you like girls who wear track suits and walk around the streets smoking, with a couple of babies in a pushchair. Usually, one baby is black, the other white). Mind you a lot of them have French names like Chantelle and Chardonnay.
PS
Q. Why don't Sussex girls go to orgies?
A. It would take too long to write the thank you letters.
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I wouldn't sit there if I were you, it's still a bit wet.
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Brian(Liverpool boys)
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« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2003, 04:41:07 pm » |
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Andy, you missed one Brittany.
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To make your dreams come true, you have to stay awake.
More Low Flyer's anyone.
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BigH
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« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2003, 07:55:19 pm » |
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Gilles,
Ians idea of a cross-cultural mixture is a Baileys, Brandy and Scotch, washed down with a Kronenbourg.
And who am I to disagree?
H
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Always with the negative waves Moriarty, always with the negative waves...
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Gilles
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« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2003, 08:37:30 am » |
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Gilles,
Ians idea of a cross-cultural mixture is a Baileys, Brandy and Scotch, washed down with a Kronenbourg.
And who am I to disagree?
H
Kronenbourg ?? What an awful idea !!!! It's one of the worst beer in the world !!!! The best way to get ill !!!! You Englander have no better beer to mix ?? |
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Le Mans is life, anything before and after is just waiting...
... it's not the taking part but the winning that counts !
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Andy
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« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2003, 11:32:36 pm » |
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could this change the whole of motorsports pit crews....
regardless of the event, F1, Rally, touring car etc... the pit crews will be all liverpudlians male and female all family related change any componant in record time, apprentices will be in their prams and fully qualified by age 5.
world motorsport may evolve due to the skills of the french/liverpuds.
oh golly gosh what a thought!!
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Andy
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Rhino
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« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2003, 10:51:59 pm » |
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I here for the city of culture there bringing in turnstile free events. Apparently you just leave the money in your pocket and a tracksuited scouser will take it without you even knowing. |
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Never argue with an idiot, they'll only drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Brian(Liverpool boys)
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« Reply #14 on: July 20, 2003, 07:08:44 pm » |
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Rhino, not all Scouser's wear trac suits. You do see the odd one in suit shirt and tie, normally they are known by the word. The accussed.
Keep your hand on your wallet.
Brian.
How many more before I get my fourth car?
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Logged
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To make your dreams come true, you have to stay awake.
More Low Flyer's anyone.
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