Russ
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I think this is yours...
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« Reply #15 on: June 27, 2003, 02:42:39 pm » |
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Butterface (n). A woman with a great figure, but the face of a darts players' wife. From the phrase "A good body, but her face...".
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Fred Dibnah Memorial
Gland in the hand worth two in a Bush Tour 2007
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jpchenet
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« Reply #16 on: June 27, 2003, 03:00:04 pm » |
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Why do women get married in white??
To match the rest of the kitchen appliances!!
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Russ
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I think this is yours...
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« Reply #17 on: June 27, 2003, 03:22:27 pm » |
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What do you call a woman who can suck a golf ball through a 50ft hose pipe?
Darling.
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Fred Dibnah Memorial
Gland in the hand worth two in a Bush Tour 2007
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jpchenet
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« Reply #18 on: June 27, 2003, 06:01:44 pm » |
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When I take the wife out, I always refer to her lovingly as "My Treasure" as most people ask me "God, where did you dig her up from??"
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Russ
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I think this is yours...
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« Reply #19 on: June 27, 2003, 06:19:58 pm » |
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How do you turn a fox into a dog?
Marry her.
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Fred Dibnah Memorial
Gland in the hand worth two in a Bush Tour 2007
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Mr. Rick
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« Reply #20 on: June 27, 2003, 06:21:06 pm » |
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A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey,
you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving
that you are blind - that you should know five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 120 kg blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional
weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional
wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that
joke?
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah . . . Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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Russ
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I think this is yours...
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« Reply #21 on: June 27, 2003, 06:31:09 pm » |
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Blonde walks into an electrical shop. She walks over to pick up a small TV, takes it to the counter and says to the chap "how much for the telly?"
The chap says "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes"
Utterly shocked, she leaves it on the counter and walks out. Desperate not to be out done, she goes home and dies her hair completely black.
The next day she walks into the same shop, picks up her TV and takes it to the counter. "how much for the telly?" she says.
The chap says "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes"
Outraged she shouts "But I've got black hair!!!"
The chap replies... "Yes, but that there is a microwave"
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Fred Dibnah Memorial
Gland in the hand worth two in a Bush Tour 2007
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SteveB
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I'm a llamanser
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« Reply #22 on: June 27, 2003, 11:18:48 pm » |
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Just some to be getting on with !
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What does a door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
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"If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried." - David Brent
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Gilles
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« Reply #23 on: June 28, 2003, 10:40:10 pm » |
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Man: Doctor I need some more sleeping pils for the wife.
Doctor: Why ?
Man: She's woken up.
Mark
TTATL Gang
Mark, if yoy are fed up with yours, can I have her phone number ?? |
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Le Mans is life, anything before and after is just waiting...
... it's not the taking part but the winning that counts !
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Ruptured Duck Motorsport
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« Reply #24 on: June 29, 2003, 09:32:06 am » |
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You hear about the chap who f**k a Princess? He burnt his pecker on the exhaust pipe....
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Scarred old slaver know he’s doin’ alright.
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Russ
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I think this is yours...
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« Reply #25 on: July 02, 2003, 11:03:47 am » |
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What do you do if a Bird craps on your car...
Ditch her!
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Fred Dibnah Memorial
Gland in the hand worth two in a Bush Tour 2007
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Peter
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I'm a llama!
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« Reply #26 on: July 02, 2003, 11:31:51 pm » |
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In oppostion to all these (very funny) jokes a feminist one! (sometimes I like to contact my softer side!)
3 women discussing their love lives.
First one says "My sex life is like a Ferrari, thrusting, urgent and powerful"
Second one says "Mine is like a Rolls Royce, smooth, spohisticated and deceptively fast"
Third says "mine's like a ride on lawn mower, I have to start it by hand and jump on quick before it stops"
Oh well, please yourselves....
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Kpy
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« Reply #27 on: July 03, 2003, 12:58:00 am » |
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Man: Doctor I need some more sleeping pils for the wife.
Doctor: Why ?
Man: She's woken up.
Mark
TTATL Gang
Mark, if yoy are fed up with yours, can I have her phone number ?? Gilles - perhaps you should first bring Mark's joke to his wife's attention, and then ask HER the same question! See you all under the same tree, same Friday, next June?  |
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Mr. Rick
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« Reply #28 on: July 03, 2003, 09:49:56 am » |
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Gilles - perhaps you should first bring Mark's joke to his wife's attention, and then ask HER the same question!
If she's woken up again yet!  |
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