Big H's Big Adventure...

[BigH]

You gotta take rest days on alternate days.... .not in groups once you are completely knackered!!

Oh aright then...
Run it past me again though Fran, if a ham sandwich makes me fit, does that mean a roast dinner's preferable if I can get my hands on one?
H

[BigH]

In order not to miss Le Mans by a wide margin and end up lost (and knackered) in France, I reckon it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to do a bit of route planning. Funnily enough, most route planners seem to be car orientated, and the motorway, as far as I'm concerned, has got to be avoided. Mind you, my pal Brian, who has a long history of dangerous and unstable behaviour, might fancy a bit of Citroen dodging, but all things considered I think a nice quiet rural road would be best. I'm ready for a bit of advice from our local correspondants on this one, - my plan is to draw a line from Cherbourg to Le Mans, and stick as close to it as possible using the yellow D roads, although it looks like there may be a bit of tacking involved. I know the red ones are great fun in the car, but I reckon there could be a lot of Artic-Action on them, and I want to avoid a bottle of golden delight on the back of the head at all costs (http://www.clubarnage.com/forum/index.php?topic=93.0).
Anyone know where I might find a good route or route planner?
H

www.justgiving.com/H-on-a-bike

[Grand_Fromage]

Sounds like a splendid wheeze, count me in!

Seriously though, yes I'd love to help both sponsorship and practical help.

GF

[mgmark]

H - no ideas on sensible routes I'm afraid anbd google doesn't seem to throw up much of any use (although with the old doping trick, you should be passing the camions....) but the likes of Rick Cutler might be able to point you in the right direction.

MG Mark

[johnevans3]

It's going to be a real trick to figure out how I am going to ride to the hotel with you after the race.  I guess I'll just pull the suitcase behind on it's wheels.  I still like the Jag better!!!!!!

[termietermite]

H, I have taken the liberty of posting a link to this thread on the Living France forum (hope you don't mind).  It has a large membership of ex-pats, many of whom are keen cyclists.  They seem to me to be likely to have a better handle on possibe routes for you.  You never know...
http://www.completefrance.com/cs/forums/929943/ShowPost.aspx

[BigH]

Hey, Messrs Grannies (Black)!

The collecting tins in aid of the cause have arrived at the tax officecolllecting headquarters.
We will be round the campsites on Friday evening/night so if you want a visit to enable you to donate let us know your where-abouts!

Sorry lads, I missed this post (- my sight's never really been the same since the turpentine incident). Sterling work and no mistake, my hat off to every man Jack of you. I'm not sure where you stand with French law when it comes to demanding money with menaces, and a broomstick, but I'll speak up for you if the worst comes to the worst.
Talking of tax returns, it wouldn't hurt to take a look at mine, the words 'spiralling' and 'cardboard accommodation' come swiftly to mind. I mean, they want to know if I would like to appeal! I live in Surrey, my Tax region appears to be entitled Sussex, and it's address is in Glasgow, and they're suprised they haven't received anything!!?? Their Helpline number connects me to a Catalogue warehouse...
Ms Mite, anther great effort and stroke of genius, continue to take all the liberties you can think of. Oh, and you're right, I never know.
Also, a welcome communication from the large cheese himself, who no doubt recalls the old DOS days of this forum. Although, I would have chosen my words more carefully, just seeing the word "wheeze" has put my training back a week and got me scrabbling for an inhaler.
Allez Allez!!
H

www.justgiving.com/H-on-a-bike

[Andy Zarse]

my plan is to draw a line from Cherbourg to Le Mans, and stick as close to it as possible using the yellow D roads, although it looks like there may be a bit of tacking involved. I know the red ones are great fun in the car, but I reckon there could be a lot of Artic-Action on them, and I want to avoid a bottle of golden delight on the back of the head at all costs

Cherbourg? Jesus, I wouldn't start from there if I was you!

Firstly, that massive hill coming up out of Cherbourg town is an absolute bastard and pretty much unavoidable which ever route you take. It's once you're clear of that obstacle that your problems really begin. Have you ever read a Normandy guidebook? Well they all talk about a region called Suisse Normandy. No, it's nothing to do with the local production of cuckoo clocks, nor are the residents especially humourless and neither is there a secret stash of gold teeth and fillings locked away in the banks. Suisse in this context refers to the topography, by which I mean Alps. Small alps admittedly, but there's bloody millions of the little sods dotted around the countryside. You'll be disappointed to note that the direct route to Le Mans goes right through them. I'm fairly certain you'll find it a tadge tiring, that's if the yodelling doesn't drive you mad first.

So the alternative might be to stay closer to the east coast of the penninsular initially, maybe until you reach Isigny or Port en Bessin or somewhere. From memory that route is a bit flatter and you should be able to get a good lick going. You can then try to figure out how to get down to Falaise whilst avoiding the Caen ringroad like the plague. I'm sure this isn't going to be easy, Uncle Albert's told me the Germans have mined most of those routes...

Have you considered sneaking the bike on the train to Alencon?

[Bellend]

Its all in the hills man, aim for Ditchling Beacon!

H; you gotta listen to this man ,,,,,, he knows all about rings!!!!!

L O Jolly Green. 

[rcutler]

H, Caen is the closest as we all know, There is a route missing Caen itself by going over Pegasus bridge, we you come  off the boat keep to the left on the footpath and it becomes a cycle path all the way to Pegasus bridge. Cross the "New" bridge and then lanes to faliase etc. Le Harve to Le Mans is a far nicer route but will take an extra 1/2 a day i suspect. I rode Dieppe to Le Mans in 1.5 days in 1998 PM me for my mobile i can help with most things bike related.

Here is me with my medal after the 2003 tour de france.

[BigH]

uh-oh...
I'd forgot about that hill just outside of Cherbourg, - mind you I shouldn't have done, as I've coasted down it a few times on the way home with the fuel guage on 'E', hoping to have enough momemtum to make it to a gas station, but usually just having enough to beach it on a roundabout. Anyway, the ferry's been booked for a while now, so I guess there's no avoiding it. The French Switzerland huh? that's just what I wanted to hear, but looking on the bright side I'll be able sing "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria" when I'm going downhill (and as been pointed out before, I've been going downhill fast for a number of years now, so that bit of training's covered...).
Rick, thanks for the offer, you were in the 2003 TDF??!!
H
Oh-da-lay, oh-da-lay, oh-da-lay ooh ooh!!!

[BigH]

Come on H., you remember my enforced 6 week workout - it took 5 weeks to see & feel the difference with no change to diet or alcohol input! Its all in the hills man, aim for Ditchling Beacon!

Well, I did, and if Jesus really does want me for a sunbeam, as I was so often told when I was younger, then he's going the right way about it. Yesterday, with summer in the air and a good forecast, I thought a ride to Brighton and back via Ditchling Beacon would be a good tester, a round trip of about 115 miles, with the added incentive of fish and chips and a cup of tea on the prom before turning around. I can confirm, without fear of contradiction, that there are more comfortable ways to spend a Sunday afternoon. Many more. As I reached the top of Ditchling Beacon I reckon people in the adjacent counties could hear me gasping and rattling, it was ten minutes before I could swear properly.
On the plus side, I got home in the end, although to be honest I was in a right old state. Once off the bike, looking for relief, I took a tip from Paula Radcliffes book and filled the bath full of ice cold water and sat in it for ten minutes, whereupon my winkle assumed a shape and palour I've never seen before, - Paula didn't mention that! This morning I'm walking like John Wayne, and like the Duke, only seem to have one working lung. I also think I'm going to have to burn my cycling trousers...
The thought of doing this three days in a row is a sobering one, which means at the very least I've got a lot more work to do. On the positive side though (!!!) I wouldn't have managed it three weeks ago, so I must be making some progress.
And to think I used to laugh at zimmer frames.
H

www.justgiving.com/H-on-a-Bike

[mgmark]

H,

Progress indeed, and it sounds like you're getting there, you little ray of sunshine.  Just don't peak too early, so make sure that you are getting plenty of fats and alcohol down you to offset all this new level of racing snake fitness.  I am a little concerned though that there appears to be little mention of emolient unguent use recently.  I do sincerely hope that you are looking after the nether regions in the midst of this burst of optimism, and that the attention-getter of the gasping/rattling/lung issue is not drawing attention away from this vital area of personal care? 

MG Mark

[BigH]

 

is not drawing attention away from this vital area of personal care?

Fear not Mark, much thought and attention was given to the preparation and protection of my Gentlemens area at the weekend.
I read a book recently which addressed the chances of life on other planets (and the conclusions weren't very positive...) and it wasn't long before the author arrived at a discussion on 'primordial soup', a sort of luke warm brackish collection of amino acids and different minerals just waiting for a spark to ignite it and set it on its way to local government employment. Anyway, as I performed the autopsy on my cycling trousers on Sunday evening, it was fascinating to see just what had happened to the various pastes and solutions I'd loaded them with only just that morning, and I was reminded of some of the authors observations, particulary the one about the 'Goldilocks Zone' and sudden impacts.
As a result, I'm going to call in at NPL (National Physics Laboratory) this afternoon, which is just down the road from me. I think they may either want to sponsor me, or run me up a flag pole when the forecast turns nasty. It's a gamble, but you never know....
H

[BigH]

Blimey, another week has gone!
I managed a fairly steady 65 miles on Sunday with no real ill effects, although I've got a very sore knee this morning, - as well as the the obvious Other Regions, but that goes without saying. I'm actually starting to feel reasonably ok on the bike now, which has to be a good sign.
A spinning session and then another 40 miles on Thursday was my lot for the week, with the grindstone keeping me busy the rest of the time. 'The Rollers' are still sitting almost unused in the garage,  I get the willies just looking at them and my brain goes AWOL after about 5 minutes on the damn things, maybe that's where Ken Russell got the inspiration for Altered States from. Well, p'raps not, the idea of Ken on a bike is about as likely as Dennis Hopper doing the River Dance, now there's an image... I'm going to have to give them another go I think, especially as there's only a few weeks to go now.
In fact the atmosphere in the garage is a bit hostile, the jag's sitting there with the hump, - this year would have been it's 21st year on the trot down to LM and I think it most have been hoping to slope off with a few of its monkey mates for a bit of a piss up. Instead, it'll be entertaining some spiders and maybe an earwig or two, not much fun really.
Just to keep things interesting, and to add a bit of motivation, I've entered what the cycling lads call a 'Randonee' next weekend, - it's a sort of timed road race over 90 miles, with bronze, silver and gold classification to be had at the end. I suspect though, that my time will place me very firmly at the other end of the periodic table when it comes to rare metals. I'll be pleased with a 'Lithium'.
H