Big H's Big Adventure...

[Barry]

Good to hear from you again H, I think you must have been in the tropical sun for to long though.

Will sort out donation as soon as salary paid.

If you need any kit taking down or bringing back just ask, wouldn't want you slumming it on MB after such an effort.

[garyfrogeye]

Stirling effort.
I'll double my donation if you do it without a saddle

[Robbo SPS]

H, you chosen your route ??

[Dobbo]

I have to say, it's a great idea! I immediately thought it might pay to contact www.radiolemans.com to see if they can give you some publicity. I wouldn't be surprised if it is something they would be interested in supporting, particularly if you are able to get a daily update to them once you begin your adventure, culminating in a live broadcast when you arrive! Sure to get the money rolling in.

[BigH]

Bloody Hell!
I've gone and done it now, does anyone know any of the Tour de France chemists, I may need their help?
Totally overwhelked (that's spellcheck for you) at this end from all the messages of support and donations, and the odd surgical support as well. Very odd surgical support...
There's some great advice above, and no mistake. In an attempt to follow it all, or at least some of it, I've already prepared a tincture of vinegar, Mazola and uncured araldite, which is going to need to be applied to all affected areas. Gulp!
Training has started, and last night I attempted to pedal some used phonecards outside the local docks, but I admit I didn't get far and was lucky to get home in one piece. I think I'm going to have to look further into this training regime, - someone has mentioned 'strict discipline' and already that has a good ring to it.
Oi Harper! - no need to get the hump because your neighbour did this (below) to your prized possesion. I think it looks nice, now get your 'and in your pocket or the SUV gets it....
H

[saveloy]

Blimey H, good man, at your age too!!!!! just been thinking, you'll need a proctologist waiting at MB for a full PR........ of course with both hands on your shoulders.  Ive a good supply of used Scrotal supports ( some bloodstained), and pads for the old ringpiece.

[Nurofen]

The cumulative effect of 20 odd years of midsummer madness at LM has taken it's toll on H... I mean, not taking the Jag, that’s sacrilegious.

Sponsorship has been dedicated to your cause old son.

See you on MB.

Nurofen

PS   You're not towing the jag by any chance?

[Fran]

not taking the Jag

It was the classiest thing about MB!!  The neighbourhood is going to the dogs. 

F

[BigH]

Caramba! there's more to this training lark than meets the eye. And the bottom.
I found a local gym last week (yes, with local people!), and amongst piles of what looked like ships ballast, dumbells, crawfish heads and a Gentlemans toilet straight out of Trainspotting, there was an excercise bike. Brilliant I thought, this is where my training starts.
Dressed in my best shorts, and armed with about 4500 songs on my mp3 player I decided to get stuck into some serious pedalling, and cancelled the rest of the days appointments. Well, I was only about half way through ABC's "Shoot that Poison Arrow" when then klaxons started sounding in my engine room. Cranking the lever marked Resistance to it's minimum setting helped,but only delayed things until the start of Smells Like Teen Spirit. Pretty soon I couldn't hear anything above my wheezing. Some really large men were laughing. I may need to return on another day.
I think a personal trainer is probably the best way forward, and I have the young man pictured below in mind, I interviewed him last night and he said all the right things. Quite what they were, I've no idea, but anyone that uses a whistle (loudly) during normal conversation gets my vote every time.
Can you get EPO on e-Bay?
H

[Bellend]

Gazza said " BIKE!!!!, that's ok as long as he takes the stabilisers off, before the Rouen tunnel"! 

As was suggested befor, all are willing to take your gear down for you. Good peeps!

Right then remember ,,,,,, you need transportation for the Beer Chiller ,, Fridge ,, Ice Maker ,, Generator! How the hell you got that lot in the jag ,,,,, God only knows !!!!

[Black Granny]

We shall be round the campsites making collections for Big H's cause. No donation means we will take a VERY close look at your forms in the coming years (and years and years.......................).

So please give generously, you know it makes sense!!!

[termietermite]

Done!

[Black Granny]

Done!

Surely you don't pay UK Tax?

[mgmark]

Done!

Surely you don't pay UK Tax?

Probably just using the payment as down-payment insurance against being misidentified during the rounds of the "boys"....

MG Mark

[mgmark]

H,

   As you have seemingly nominated me as Officer Commanding Unguent Wing for this little junket of yours across the briny, I suppose I had better take rather more than a passing, casual interest in this madcap venture, then we can ensure that your posterior is saved for both posterity and for your continued personal use in respect of its usual functions. 

As mentioned elsewhere (on the Marham Track Day thread of all places....) there will be a requirement to recruit an "Application Assistant" and I look to you to undertake the necessary action - if you need any convincing of the requirement, then I merely refer you to the picture conjured by Nathaniel Hawthorne's book, "The Golden Fleece" of  1853 - "So she put a golden box into his hand, and directed him how to apply the perfumed unguent which it contained, and where to meet her at midnight".

You will also note that the website http://www.unguent.net is currently under development, and I have, this very morning, launched a hostile take-over bid to ensure its availability for the team's use during June to provide topical news of the efficacy of the various unguents prepared especially for your use.  In particular, I have in mind Cerate, which I believe will be highly effective, its contituent form being a medicated paste made of lard or oil mixed with wax or resin.  Beef fat, used 20/50, furniture polish and araldite should do nicely.......

MG Mark