So I'm haring down the A34 towards the M4, just coming up behind a lorry, and there is this goat-like creature standing right across the outside lane, looking at me. Suffice to say, I doubt he'll ever be looking at much else - I hit him pretty damn hard (90+mph)
Sorry to hear about your new car Smokie but what on earth is a "goat-like creature"? Surely it's either a goat or it isn't? Maybe you're covering up the fact that it was an innocent victim of devil worship dressed up as a goat having escaped the ritual human sacrifice and trying to flag down a motorist to get help. I know it all sounds a bit Dennis Wheatley but you never know in that part of Oxfordshire.
Anyway, having comprehensively f**cked a goat, I think you're entiltled to wear this fetching number. Smokie the GILF Hunter!!