Things to remember if you've got male children

[nickliv]

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house
4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-paned) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already
too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
Boy.

11.) Playdough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably do NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with
or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.


Clorox is bleach. I'm off to TESCOs

[Bob U]

Number 8 could come in handy next June 

[htbast]

Great list.

Re no 2: What are dust bunnies?
And does anyone have any rollerblades I can borrow?

[Bob U]

Dust Bunny. There you go, we have both learned something today

http://www.pibweb.com/bunny.html

[Lorry]

I can vouch for no 23, but they don't have  to be dizzy

Now I know what to do with old brake fluid

[Barry]

What's Clorox?
Can you buy it in UK?

[nickliv]

Bleach.

There is a possibility that the smoke will be vaguely chloriney. Keep upwind.

[Andy Zarse]

Bleach.

There is a possibility that the smoke will be vaguely chloriney. Keep upwind.

Yes, I wouldn't mind betting it gives off something like mustard gas. Have you ever seen the old footage from the first world war with those poor soldiers with bandaged eyes and their hands on the shoulder of the man in front. Be careful, but maybe you could try the smoke out on the dizzy cat from No 23 in some sort of vivisection experiment?

[amazing 1]

Andy I cant help but think your  mother knows most of this first hand.

[Snoring Rhino]

Dont Let Tom see No11 or No 8 for that matter - it would be too tempting.
(good to see you at lunch time Tom, thanks for the Beer (he fell for the opps I've got no cash routine  )

[Paddy_NL]

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.

Just tried it. Doesn't seem to work

[Lawnmower Man]

Dont Let Tom see No11 or No 8 for that matter - it would be too tempting.
(good to see you at lunch time Tom, thanks for the Beer (he fell for the opps I've got no cash routine  )

I already did.   

Good to see you too Ian.  I just shows it's good to have the CA Sticker. 

t.

[Brad Zarse]

Dad,  wheres the brake fluid...   

[Nobby Diesel]

To be honest, I think I'll give the "smoking liquids "thing a miss.
You see, I live near some woods, around the High Wycombe area.
Probably not the best thing to be doing at the moment.

[nickliv]

www.clorox.com

There might be the same product with a different name, the logo might be the key.