Back from the pub?

[Steve Pyro]

All this lavatorial stuff, and H's post from the past, reminds me of a similar incident I recall witnessing back in the dark days when I was at nautical college and staying in the halls of residence.

A number of us callow youths decided we'd have a boozy weekend away from Plymouth, staying in a beach hut near to Fort Bovisand dive centre (with bar etc.)
Having drank rough cider all the way there on the bus, then drank various fluids in the beach hut, we decided to make the short(ish) walk to the fort along the coastal path to have a few more bevvies that evening.
This is where my memory gets a bit murky, but I recall one of our breathren had his birthday that weekend, so we comprehensively Mickey Finned him.
Later, he could not be found, so we drunkenly searched the fort for him, only to find him asleep on the floor of the shitehouse, naked and covered in his own excrement and vomit.
It transpired that, whilst sat having a dump, he felt the need to chunder and slid off the seat and rolled around to barf down the pan.  In doing so, he layed a turd on the toilet seat, which he then put his arm on, and most of his upper torso - it was not a pleasant sight.
He then chundered over himself and continued to shat on the floor - suffice to say that we refused to allow him back in the beach hut that evening.

Oh happy days  ::)

[BigH]

Andy,
I read your post with a grim expression, nodding sagely. It's a sad tale alright, but reading between the lines I can tell that special warmth of brotherly love has not left Chez Zarse. He's a very lucky man...
I must admit though, the state of the bogs on the nations motorways has always perplexed me. 'Spread and scatter' is normally a term reserved for military usage, but there are some fantastic textbook examples and many (presumably) psychedelic driven specimens in plenty evidence in the 'restrooms'of the A1. Not to mention "carpet bombing". In fact, "restroom" seems a bit of a misnomer if you ask me, you're not going to get a coating of the processed remains of last nights cod, chips and picalilli on the ceiling and adjacent fixtures by having a rest. I'd say some poisoned runaway from the Cirque-du-Soleil must top the list of suspected culprits. Some of these places even have signs saying "Toilet of the Week" for Gods sake.
These thoughts, and your poor brothers unfortunate experience brings us round to natures design flaw here. There's just no rearward vision, God and his pearly design dept. have let us down badly on this one, even the boys at Morgan would have come up with something. A macro eyeball in a buttock (which would, I suppose, need a bifocal monacle as we grew older), or the biologically evolved equivalant of some of those reversing sensors would do the trick. Once, when preparing for a "sit-down" I'm absolutely sure a big bluebottle flew out of my ar**hole. - A little disconcerting, I think you'll agree, and although I'm 99% sure about it, I really would have liked to have been the complete 100% before going to see my GP about it.
H

[Andy Zarse]

It's not only motorway services lavatories that can turn the stomach, not to mention other parts of the anatomy. I had the misfortune to visit an elderly neighbour in the Royal Sussex Hospital in Brighton recently. It's a huge old victorian building and it's like a rat's maze inside. I got lost on my way out of Men's Surgical and I have to say taking a wrong turning is not recommended, particularly if you end up as I did in what I can only imagine must have been the Gender Realignment Dept. My naturally sensorial nature prevents me from telling you what I witnessed, suffice to say, I'll never again be able to eat steak and onions in front of Casualty, it's the noise of the electric saw that lingers so terribly in pshyche.

[Bob U]

Beer Goggles explained at last, but then we already knew they were for real.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/4468884.stm

[neilsie]

there you go.. i know where i went wrong......


wasn't squaring the thingy me jiggy

[Fran]

I am glad to see that this study was done in Manchester -  ;D

[Bob U]

Planning meeting tonight. We met  at 8:30 and started off talking sense and having a sensble conversation and coming up with good ideas but you know what it's like we need another meeting in a couple of weeks to try and make sense of what we discussed tonight. Oh well such is life.

[Doris]

Just a thought though, I know Spain isn't far enuff south for this, but does the room spin the other way round south of the equator?

;D

I've got the answer!  I don't know which way the room spins in the Northern Hemisphere but in the Southern Hemipshere the rooms spins clockwise.

I would like to thank my sister in law for getting drunk enough to make the room spin whilst remaining sober enough to have the where withall to remember which way it went.  Also thanks to my brother for remembering that I had asked him to do the research for me.   ;D ;D

[Canada Phil]

Just a thought though, I know Spain isn't far enuff south for this, but does the room spin the other way round south of the equator?

;D

I've got the answer!  I don't know which way the room spins in the Northern Hemisphere but in the Southern Hemipshere the rooms spins clockwise.

I would like to thank my sister in law for getting drunk enough to make the room spin whilst remaining sober enough to have the where withall to remember which way it went.  Also thanks to my brother for remembering that I had asked him to do the research for me.   ;D ;D

Hi Doris, Thanks for clearing that up. However it is perhaps not very scientific to rely on just one experience ...can you get her to do it again and see if the result is repeatable ???
Phil