Fax, found it quite amusing.
For the record I used to work for a company in El Paso and had to visit both there and Dallas on a regular basis. Funniest thing I ever heard was on a connecting flight from Chicago to Dallas, El Paso was refered to as the Arm Pit of America.
Personally I always had a fantastic time in Texas and look forward to when I get a chance to go back there again, but please keep up the beer and posting always makes for interesting reading