Here's one for all our wives

Dear Tech Support:
>
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
> distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower
> and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
>
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
> Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
> programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6.
>
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
> system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail.
> What can I do?
>
> Signed,
> "Desperate"
>
> *****************************
>
> Dear "Desperate":
>
> First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
> Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the command:
> "C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically
> install Guilt 3.0.
>
> If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
> automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. Remember,
> though, that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
> default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer
> 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly 10.8.
>
> Whatever you do: DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another
> Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash
> Husband 1.0.
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
> memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
> buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
>
> Personally, I recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
>
> Good Luck, Tech Support

PM