I reckon we need a new phrase.
H
You're right, unless of course the are refering to Mr Bob Crow, leader of the ASLEF union.
So how's about using "as the dog shoots"?
Well, something shot out of the local pub Labrador on saturday evening, in a perfectly straight line, hitting a blameless Dutchman on the trouser leg and shoe. I won't go into details but I was pleasantly surprised by the flatness and straight line accuracy of the trajectory of the repugnant substance emitted by the dog. Thus I feel it would be an ideal similie to replace "as the crow flies".
I'd be lying if I said Mr Steven Zarse had nothing to do with it.