VIRUS THREAT - Not SARS or computers...

[Ruptured Duck Motorsport]

The World Health Organization today issued a new warning against non-essential travel to the entire Western hemisphere following renewed concerns about the spread of Severe Loss of Perspective Syndrome (SLOPS).

Officials are warning travellers not to visit the UK, the US, almost all of Western Europe, Canada and Australia, following further outbreaks of the disease, which has led to mass panic among the media.

Thousands of ecstatic children being kept out of school by their credulous and moronic parents, and increased profits for DIY stores as the idiot public rush to bulk-buy face masks and boiler suits.

A WHO spokesman said, "You'd be much better off going to somewhere like Taiwan or China, because all you've got to worry about there is SARS, and let's face it, you're about as likely to die from that as you are to get kicked to death by a gang of zombie nuns."

The SARS virus has now claimed a staggering 500 lives in only six months, which makes it considerably more deadly than,say, malaria, which only kills around 3000 people every day. Malaria, however, mainly affects only Asians what speak foreign, whereas SARS has made at least one English person feel a bit iffy for a couple of days, and is therefore considered much more serious.

The spread of SLOPS has now reached pandemic proportions, with many high-level politicians seemingly affected by the disease.

The rapid spread of SLOPS has been linked to the end of the war in Iraq and the need for Western leaders to give the public something else to worry about.

Otherwise, they might start asking uncomfortable questions about domestic issues, and that simply would not do.

[Liszt]

I think I had SLOPS at Le Mans last year.  This year I will be mainly doing my own cooking.


Has anyone else ever tried one of thse horse kebabs from the funfair?

[Jeffa]

A couple of years ago I had a sandwich with what I thought (in my drunken stupor) was chicken.

Needless to say it reacted badly with the Kronenbourg and caused my to lose nearly half a stone and a whole bog roll.

On closer inspection the next day it looked like 1 week old chicken supreme and I swear there was legs and stuff in it !!!

[starbar]

I think I had the same bug, I drunk s**t loads of a pernod substitute cannot even remember what it was called, went to bed Ok after I nailed the earth down from stopping it spinning, then my mate bought this dodgy cup of tea in, I think the milk was off cos it didnt want stay in,I remember thinking I will put it in a bag and save it for later (slops).. well it was pure pernod apart from a little bit of tea. I left it in a tesco bag for the gippos I hope they enjoyed it..  

[Stu]

........I drunk s**t loads of a pernod substitute cannot even remember what it was called, .......  

That would be Turps probably


Stu

[Ruptured Duck Motorsport]

........I drunk s**t loads of a pernod substitute cannot even remember what it was called, .......  

That would be Turps probably


Stu

We drank a bottle of "Fanny" one year...  that was close to Turps!

[jpchenet]

We drank a bottle of "Fanny" one year...  that was close to Turps!

Oh dear, that reminds me of my school trip to France many years ago. Two brands of lemonade in the shops, Schit and Sic!!!