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BigH
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« on: July 20, 2004, 06:48:16 pm » |
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Brothers and sisters,
I mentioned earlier that I'd had enough of Islam, and after a brief dalliance with atheism (despite Stu's concerns), I can now say that I have indeed Seen The Light.
Christianity truly is a wonderful thing, and although we must surely all have friends in cheeses, you're missing true fulfilment if you're not warming the pews with the vicar on a Sunday morning. The Lord actually said this, I'm not kidding, this Christianity is a marvellous thing and I'm beginning to suspect that either he, or the maniac who wrote the Bible was also an endurance racing fan. I've not got to the end yet (it doesn't half go on a bit in parts), but already I can see a career in the church, or maybe Argos looming up. Just get a load of this children:
"And in hell he lift his eyes, being in torments...and he cried and said...have mercy on me...dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame. The smoke of their torment ascendeth forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night."Luke 16:23,24; Revelation 14:11.
If this is not Brian from the Liverpool Boys on Friday night after drinking barbeque lighting fluid (while alight) and collapsing in the paddling pool, I'll eat my hat, and maybe even the bishops mitre. There's even a reference to the Morgan pit crew for chrissakes!
Now, you can talk your talk of the overthrowing of Sodom, and Gomorrah, Admah, and Zeboim, which the LORD overthrew in his anger, and in his wrath, but you'd be missing the point.
"The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb; And the smoke of their torment ascendeth forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night." Revelation 14:10,11.
Now come on!! Lamb kebabs burning on the campfire, no rest day or night, pissed up Jimmy's pyre of tyres burning on the other side of the track (personally I think that the wrinkled old retainer who translated this got it all wrong, tyre and bridgestone would make much more sense). Clearly, an audience with the pope is not far off for the Morgan boys either...
Remain as disbelievers and pagans if you wish, but the wicked will not receive eternal life or eternal punishment, you will die, die I tell you, which means to perish! perish in eternal Carnation! Throw scorn on this brothers:
... Hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?
- Isaiah 36:12
I have pictures of this!! Pictures! Dicko and Savaloy by the Ford chicane! For it was written, and behold! it was so!
I don't want the Lord our God to get really p*ssed off with this fine website, but there's a couple more that are just waiting to be beheld, if you ask me:
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanliness, lasciviousness.
- Galatians 5:19
"and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions." (Ezekiel 23: 21, NRSV)
Little children, it is the last time: and as ye have heard that antichrist shall come, even now there are many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time.
- 1 John 2:18
If that's not the Brethrens party on Friday, then I'm a Dutchman.
In closing, I have to admit, there's a couple of bits (well, actually a hell of a lot, but I'm not really worthy of true enlightenment yet) that I'm having trouble getting my newly tonsured head around..
"You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads, nor harm the edges of your beard. You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead, nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the LORD. "
- Leviticus 19:27-28
On the face of it, Leviticus seems to have been a complete f*cking head case, most of his stuff's like this, but I'm working on it.
Praise the Lord and Mary Lou!!
Rev. H
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