I really don't know if I should or I shouldn't. I in no way mean any offense to anyone....'not my way. It is
a funny one tho' so I shall. If warranted , feel free to delete it, of course.
A truck (lorry) driver has a load of restaurant equipment to deliver from Chicago (northern U.S.) to Key West, Florida (southeast U.S.), about 1500 miles.
He gets it down there in two days, has no loads on the way back to Chicago, nor set up when he gets back, so decides to take his time returning.
On the way up from the Keys, he decides to stop at the tourist attraction "The Monkey Jungle". He enjoys himself taking the tour and finds the monkeys rather cute.
"Hmmmm....." he thinks to himself, "I'd like to have one of these as a pet."
Before leaving, he approaches the tour guide and asks "Is it possible to purchase one of these little guys?"
The tour guide says "Yes, absolutely."
"How much might they cost?" asks the driver.
"50 dollars." replies the tour guide.
"Oooohhh, not bad. I'll take one."
The tour guide, smiling, winks at the driver and takes a furtive look around. Recognizing that the coast is clear he lowers his voice and says
"I have a special one you might be interested in." Another glance around and he continues "He does a very special trick and is only $50 more."
"Well....what's the trick? And, is it guaranteed to perform?"
"Oh, 'guaranteed for sure, I trained him myself."
"Fine, but the trick sir....."
Whispering, "You just have to smack him on the back of his head and he'll perform the best fellatio you've ever experienced."
"You sure....
"
"Absolutely."
"Okay, I'll take him but, if not true, I'll be back looking for you."
"No problem, he's yours"
To make an unneccesarily long story shorter, the truck driver gives the monkey a few hundred miles to become acclimated to the cab and driver
then pulls into a rest area and smacks the monkey. Surer than you know what, as guaranteed, the monkey pleases the driver better then he's ever been pleased in his previous 58 years.
"I'll be damned! Thank you buddy." They both rest for a few hours and then back on the road. A few hours later, they repeat the process.
Up the road, the driver sees a gent with his thumb out, decides to pick up him up, and introduces him to the monkey, explaining it's wonderful gift.
"No way," says the hitcher "that's too amazing. I don't believe you."
The driver, proud of his new companion (the monkey) says "Watch, I'll show you."
Without even stopping the truck, he smacks the monkey who obediently does him again, and says "See? Isn't that great!!!"
"Yes it is..." says the hitcher, "...I sure would like to try that myself."
The driver, pondering, "I don't know. It's my monkey and we don't know you that well, or if I should even share him at all."
"I understand. 'Don't worry about the monkey, I think he likes me and won't mind." replies the rider, really wanting a piece of this action.
The driver ponders some more, not sure what to do. "I just don't know....."
The hitchhiker continues even more convincingly than before...........
".........I promith to be fery gentle............'jutht don't thmack me tho hard."
