Ok,
To lighten up a little can anyone beat this?
A bloke is driving to work, he's late and is speeding a little.
He drives over a bridge and sure enough, sat on the other side
there is a police officer with a radar gun. The police officer
stops the bloke and asks him why he is speeding.
"I'm late for work" the bloke explains
"Oh" says the officer, " and what do you do that is so important
you need to speed to get there?"
"Well I'm a rectum stretcher" says the bloke
"A Rectum stretcher" enquires the officer,
"and what the hell does a Rectum Stretcher do?"
"Well" explains the guy "I stretch Arseholes,
first I put one finger in, then two, then three, then four
and I keep going until I can get both of my hands in.
Then I slowly stretch my arms out until the Arsehole is about 6 foot!"
"And what the heck do you do with a six foot arsehole" asks the officer!
"WELL YOU GIVE IT A
RADAR GUN AND SIT IT
ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!"