Exotic rides!
It has to be leather. The less breathable the better. What we're after inside there is rainforest humidity, we want to see a good run-off from inside the legs at ankle level. Betty Swallocks Strides Ltd of Littlehampton do a nice little line in non-stretch, non-breathable, not quite dead figure huggers, the crotches are lined with live chickens.
After this, just getting in the car will be a f*cking nightmare never mind driving it, but once in you'll certainly cut a dash in MB. And maybe an artery if you're not careful.
That Commer is starting to look pretty good....
Why not go for leatherette? It possesses all the qualities demanded H, I know this because the front seats in the commer are made of it. After the hot six hour drive to Le Mans, our bottoms become so riddled with blackheads it looks like we've been shot in the arse by a twelve bore. I think I'm going to replace it with a nice tiger skin fur. Then I'll run meself up a pair of extra tight Bavarian leder(ette) hosen shorts with the old covers. And couple of tanga thongs if there's enough material left, they'll certainly be big if not necessarily clever.
Frankly, I reckon the live chickens stand a worse than evens chance of getting their claws entwined in the pubis, with terrible consequences for all concerned, not least the chickens. It would clearly necessitate Mr RS2 walking around with a mincing and posturing gait and is perhaps not quite what he had in mind.
