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nickliv
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« Reply #60 on: October 09, 2006, 05:34:23 pm » |
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Eeww.
I used to work as a radiographer, and have had to take some rather enlightening pictures in my time.
The most memorable one involves a gentleman with erectile difficulties.
He had been tring to achieve 'wood' but could only get as far as 'rope' so, sitting around in his flat lonely, and in need of a sherman, started thinking if there was a 'button' or similar that could be pressed, so he fished a foil kit kat wrapper out of the BIN, rolled it up nice and tight and pushed it down the third eye.
Needless to say, the non existent button remained well and truly un - pushed, so he withdrew the foil. One slight problem though, only about 1/2 the foil came out.
He came in to casualty, was X - rayed, and spend an hour in theatre on the end of some very thin pliers.
We thought that this would be the end of the matter, but no.
About 3 weeks later we were asked to do a urethrogram (Clues in the name) an examination where a radioluscent dye is put in the urethra so you can see the workings of what is a delicate and important piece of plumbing.
Lo and behold, I opened the door to the changing cubicle to see caprain kit kat sitting there, so as he was sitting on the table waiting for the doctor to arrive I asked him what the problem was, he recounted the kit kat tale to me, and then said that when he went for a whizz, there was about 1/2 a cupful of urine that came out when he had finished (Why he was piddling into a tea cup I neglected to ask)
The doctor arrived, a giant of a man from Zambia, and captain kit kat recounted the sorry tale again. He also asked the doctor a few choice questions:-
1. I'm 42 and still a virgin, is that normal? Doc replied, 'No, I'm 38 and have 6 children'
2. Is my penis a funny shape, would that put women off? Doc replied 'It might if the first thing you do is show them it'
Then
I'd heard that long and thin goes too far in and serves to hurt the lady, but short and thick is just the trick, and always brings the baby' To which the doc had no reply.
Have you ever seen a 20 stone zambian doctor crying tears of laughter doing silent shoulder heaves while wearing a lead apron? I have.
The procedure was carried out, and the poor chaps old chap was in a very sorry state, where there should have been a nice thin tube from the tip to the bladder, here the whole inside of his penis had disappeared, leaving little more than a skin sheath.
I left that hospital shortly after that, so do not know what became of this guy.
Here endeth the lesson. you can uncross your legs now.
I did once have to X ray someone who had put a large (Easter egg size) brass egg up his bottom. When I asked him why he did it, he replied
'I wanted to know what it would be like to be a chicken'
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