The Dyslexic Kojes thread (from the T shirt thread)

[Fax]

Matt, That fiasco at Indy gives me the creeps just thinking about.  I'll never forget the look of horror on you & Dave's faces when I dropped that bomb.  Necking gin and heading out on a beer scunge through the Coca Cola lot at eight in the morning...Ugh!  Daytona's shaping up nicely, saw some Vettes on the entry list but haven't seen a Mini yet (are they fast enough to stay up on the banking?)
Sorry Robo, had to do it.

[BigHsPiles]

I believe that Laura Ashley are doing beef curtains this Spring.
Ikea however, are staying with meatballs and cupboards.

[Matt Harper]

I never did rate Ikea's menu very highly

[Matt Harper]

 Daytona's shaping up nicely,

Yes - this does look a whole lot more promising than last year's race and I've got pit passes organised. The guv'nor's son is doing an SCCA race at Sebring this weekend and Grand Am membership (with the perks) is mandatory. They're testing for the Fran-Am race at Homestead during Rolex weekend, hence I've got the "back-stage passes".
Same goes for 12 hours of Sebring (from a different source - First Air, who are bringing over one of the Veloqx R8 (among others) for the ALMS race. Anyone else on CA planning to do Rolex 24 or Sebring?

[Andy Zarse]

No.

BTW Matt. I hear Taco Bell have a $1.99 special offer on spicy barbequed beef curtains. Tried them yet? I bet they're nice with a side order of Jack Daniels refried piles.

[Matt Harper]

Andy - I make it my business to steer well clear of Taco Hell. Eating road-kill would do nothing for my cultured image. Skyline Chilli and Tropigrill by contrast, are quite delish and are much more acceptable gringo cuisine.
'Thinking outside the bun' can get you in all manner of trouble, no error.

[BigH]

Sub-Way did it for me. Indigestion on a Norris-Mcf***ing Whirter scale, when the little guy asked if I wanted relish, I didn't realise he meant about 100ml of every type of mustard/salsa/chilli/mayo he had to hand. I read with horror that they won some sort of non-junkfood award, and even worse, they've started appearing in the UK. They could be challenging that hallowed place held by the kebab for the "I'm so p*ssed I can't see, speak or breath unaided, but I must eat, and I must eat NOW!" award.
But them if you must, but then put them in your pants.
H

[Fax]

Taco Bell!! The local illegal border jumpers won't even touch rodent in a tortilla.  Doing more than running for the border after eating that stuff.  I'll take my chances with White Castle's rectum rockets (remember those Matt?)
John

[Matt Harper]

You got it right, H. Subway - Eat Fresh! They have this geek on their ads called Jared, who used to weigh a metric ton (said in Dr Evil voice) and by eating Subway hoagies all day has now become a 9 stone weakling.

Strange this, because it has had the opposite effect on me.

I am rather partial to the foot-long Italian Chicken filet with double bacon and provolone.

As the old saying goes, you are what you eat. I wonder if that's why I'm such a tw*t.......

[Matt Harper]

I'll take my chances with White Castle's rectum rockets (remember those Matt?)
John

Do I ever! They're called Crystal Burgers down here in FL

[BigH]

RECTUM ROCKETS!!!
My eyes are still watering and buttocks are clenched at the thought. Are we talking solid fuel and heat seeking? (nowhere to run, nowhere to hide). Reminds me of a particularly oily estate agent that hangs around street corners in these parts.
Then again, Im almost sure they could figure in one of those enduringly affectionate memories I have of childhood confectionary. Aniseed balls, flying saucers, liquorice twist, rectum rockets. It almost fits.
"A quarter of Rectum Rockets please sir, and some Mars Attacks."
It sounds terribly familiar.
Or, Fax, was it a formula 1 driver from the seventies? I can almost hear Murray screaming "and here comes Heskeths Rectum Rocket screaming in from a long way behind!!"
Jeez, they're not kidding when they say fast food's bad for you...
H

[Robbo SPS]

You got it right, H. Subway - Eat Fresh! They have this geek on their ads called Jared, who used to weigh a metric ton (said in Dr Evil voice) and by eating Subway hoagies all day has now become a 9 stone weakling.

Strange this, because it has had the opposite effect on me.

I am rather partial to the foot-long Italian Chicken filet with double bacon and provolone.

As the old saying goes, you are what you eat. I wonder if that's why I'm such a tw*t.......

Cant beat a foot long in Italian Herb and Cheese bread , and the Sub Melt filling , all the veggies and chipottle sauce with a little honey mustard.

Dinner Time i think.

[Fax]

Hi H,
Whitey's serve these little square burgers, steam grilled and smothered in grilled onions on a tiny little bun, best served with a mound of greasy deep fried onion chips on the side.  The whole restaurant is mostly made out of stainless steel, hence their nickname "The Aluminum Room". They're open 24 hours so they're a favorite among the "just staggered from the pub when they threw us out" crowd.  So the Hesketh guys probably would've loved it.  Also the owner of the White Castle at the corner of 16th & Georgetown sponsored Cheap Mead's Eagle-Chevy that just barely failed to qualify for the 1981 Indy 500.
This talk of food's killing me!

[Matt Harper]

I'll take my chances with White Castle's rectum rockets (remember those Matt?)
John

Do I ever! They're called Crystal Burgers down here in FL

Fax, your posting caught me on the hop - I was talking on the phone to the boss when your 'Rectum Rockets' posting popped-up on my screen. It became a difficult conversation to continue.
White Castle burgers kind of went in the same way they came out. i.e. unchanged by the human digestive tract. In my case, they made the act of defecation similar to pebble-dashing a garage wall. Most unsettling.

[Andy Zarse]

You got it right, H. Subway - Eat Fresh! They have this geek on their ads called Jared, who used to weigh a metric ton (said in Dr Evil voice) and by eating Subway hoagies all day has now become a 9 stone weakling.

Strange this, because it has had the opposite effect on me.

I am rather partial to the foot-long Italian Chicken filet with double bacon and provolone.

As the old saying goes, you are what you eat. I wonder if that's why I'm such a tw*t.......

Bwerppp! Gag! Garrggg! You just knew there was going to be a new Zarse puking gag in here somewhere. No wonder Jared is a nine stone puff.

I have only been to Subway once and never again. Queenstown New Zealand last year. I had been on a ten hour bender with my pal from Newcastle and following a refreshing three hours kip, we had to drive back to Christchurch about five hours away for the cricket test match. Breakfast was called for, and lo and behold, a Subway hove into sight. We werent really concentrating when we ordered, just asked the spotty buffoon behind the counter to load 'em right up.

I could only eat half mine before it was ejected through the car window, falling at the feet of some lucky backpackers. To be fair it had virtually dropped to bits anyway with all the sauce and multicoloured gunk in it. My mate managed to finish his tho. Anyway about an hour later we were paked by the road, spewing copiously into the gutter. (It was nothing to do with the previous night's beer and 80 fags, I might add.)

Less of a Rectum Rocket, more like a Throat Stoat in my opinion. And real bad gas all week.