Campsite Bravery...

[Dan]

Hi all,

Just back from my latest stint in HMP Belmarsh..but I saw this thread and had to share this story with you...In this instance I would like to mention the following person in dispatches for bravery on the Campsite...

"John Pierre Gravy" our resident pill popping French Loon .....Houx Annexe Battalion, 2nd Brigade ...

Whilst out on a snatch & Grab wood mission we happened upon a Farm settlement along the road from the Houx Annexe, having cleverly boxed our way around the position we recced the ground and noted only one rabid mongrel and a light on in the 1st floor...with this we sent in our Rapidly Getting Pissed Unit to swag the pallets and do one sharpish..the squad led by Sgt Kenneth Cunty were half way threw the job when our man Gravy caused the pallet stack to crash to the floor...This unfortunately brought our mission into full view of Les farmer who proceeded to shoot at our entrepid duo with his 12 Bore...Sgt Kenneth Cunty made it back to the LUP without injury, unfortunately "John Pierre Gravy" sustained heavy led shot wounds to his DERRIERE which prevented the poor chap from sitting down....

[Steve Pyro]

Hi all,

Just back from my latest stint in HMP Belmarsh

In-mate or employee ??  

[BigH]

Dan, that's absolutely priceless. I suggest a knighthood, followed by a stint with a minor, tabloid humiliation and a slow degrading slide into sleeping rough and smelling of p*ss. Sort of back where we started really.
H

[Dave H]

If this is my man Dan, I'd like to extend a warm seasonal greeting by stating that this sounds like utter bollocks!

[Mr Toad]

Dan

If any photographic evidence is available to support this, I would have no hesitation in reccomending a Beer Cross (BC) for your injured man, plus a Purple Bottle for any othe members of the raiding party...well done on behalf of your country!

Any clarification on the criteria for these prestigious decorations can be found at

http://www.beermountain.com/medals.htm

[Rhino]

You should have tried the direct approach, one year (94 i think) we decided to forgo the usual scramble to get through the doors in the concrete wall on the finish straight. After a heavy day of drinking beer and whisky(not together) and a stagger back from arnage (that evening when the coach stopped for food my brother and i literally had to help each other out of the coach due to the pain of that walk)
We thought better idea is to go over the top, after staggering past a few houses i saw an old french door minus the glass leaning against a shed in someones garden. I fell through the hedge and picked it up, unable to get back through the hedge i walked out the drive, it was then i heard some voices and looked over to see the family having a meal all looking at me, i nodded at them and carried on. No one stopped me, i wondered if they even mentioned it to each other.
The idea was  a good one, i made it over, sadly my brother plumetted to earth when someone else jumped on it and it broke.

[Dan]

ahaa my old friend Harpette and his amazingly large mouth ...how are you old son, unfortunately my story is a true one and to be honest I had no intention of taking pictures of some french dudes back burner although I know you are a touch partial to the old "Brown love" antics, so sorry to dissapoint maybe next time...in the mean time keep noshing yerself off and i hope to do banter with you soon...

[Dave H]

Hey Danno - I was hoping it was you - haven't spent 1/2 an hour tryng to decipher any relevant message from one of your postings in a long time.  Thought you may have broken your typing finger or something.  How are you my old son?  Sorry, my sexual orientation still hasn't changed - I'm glad to see you're as keen as ever to discuss it though.  I'm always here for you so just let the frustration out when you need to.

As always, I appreciate you being up for the piss-take and look forward to your future attempts at rebuttal.  Hope your holidays are good ones and not too lonely.

Dave