In common with most threads on this forum, there's usually a dissenting voice somewhere. This time it's me.
Anyway, I hate Christmas.
Always have, well ever since I was about 16. I'd like to think I am the new Ebeneezer, the world's biggest humbug.
Ill-will to all men abounds; vomit and vandalism; arguments and fights; expense and boredom in inverse proportion; wrapping paper at up to 10p a sheet; crap presents which are down the Hospice shop by the following Monday; old people who smell of piss; a sickening waste of good food; false bonhommie and forced joviality; cards from people you wished would sod off; over exited children who are both seen AND heard; the wanton expense; greed and commercialism; the "carol singers" coming round with pre-recorded carols played by a tape machine from a car, the lazy twats; borderline blood/sugar levels, a blocked bile duct and the great taste of sick in the back of the throat.
And all that's just in our house, Christ alone knows, it must surely be worse in some other folk's homes.
Oh, and you can't get to the bar in the local cos it's clogged up with bastards you never see in there the other 360 days of the year.
You may have guessed I despise everything that Christmas has come to stand for.
The whole thing is so plastic. I could go on...
Humbug! BBAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
From Uncle Andy Zarse, The Kiddy's Friend.
PS I suppose not everyone takes what could be called such a slightly jaundiced view as this. So, (through clenched teeth) Happy Christmas Everyone.
bbaahhhh
