Are you meeting up with Stu Andy??? If so, I'll warn the kebab shop owners now to look out for you and put a specail request in to the city cleaners!!
No JP, it wasn't my intention to meet Stu, but given the very rough weather experienced on the flight, I did wonder whether I might not meet him in his professional capacity as a fireman. Looking at the Background thread above, I see he "puts oot fires".
Just after we took off from Gatwick, the pilot of the 737 informed us that we should all keep our seatbelts on as we would experience "severe turbulence". He was not joking. It was all smooth going until we went into the final approach, which can be likened to the sensations felt when pissed up on a Le Mans fairground ride. I later learnt there was a gusting 60mph cross wind onto beam. At one point I am convinced we were actual flying along on our side, although it's hard to tell with your eyes clamped shut. The engines were roaring up and down, the ailerons flapping up and down like good'uns.
The Captain, who was clearly a sadist with a death wish, was advised by one my fellow passengers to "pull up man, fer christ's sake!". He ignored the advice and kept on going. Again we were on our side, this time decending about 900ft in about two seconds. Which is fair enough I suppose, but not when you're only 1000ft up to begin with. All the passengers screamed out loud, the nice Russian lady next to meet grabbed my knee and wailed "Make him stop!". I had visions of being introduced to Stu for the first time, whilst he sprayed foam on my blackened and smoking torso lying in a field.
Anyway, once you've landed, then the whole thing becomes one big joke. The captain stood at the exit to accept the plaudits from grateful passengers. I said to him "You bloody well enjoyed that you bastard!" He just grinned.
