Modern Commer Replacement

[Andy Zarse]

For those who are interested in such matters her are the Commer stats for 2006:

429 miles travelled

22.45 mpg

Oil consumed - Nil

Water consumed - 1 pint

Gross weight on return 2.2 tonnes. (as checked at our local Ministry of Transport weighbridge, which we have to drive right by) Gross Max Plated Weight - 2.1 tonnes (so we were 100 kg over the legal max weight!)

Vmax -indicated 75mph chasing Robbo and the SPS van on the motorway into Ouistreham

Usually it is at this point I go into a rant about the unreliability of the vehicle and what a heap of crap it is; eg. last year when it overheated in 40c+ cos we'd blocked off the radiator air intake with a big flag, or perhaps the interior light had packed  up or other major problem. Unfortunately this year's journey was completed with absolute 100% reliability. Nothing went wrong. Nadda.

As I think I may have mentioned before,

SHE'S A BEAUTY!

Just for comparative purposes with 2006, I've quoted last year's stats above.

So the Commer stats for 2007 are as follows:

405 miles travelled (BTW Newhaven-Le havre is closer overall for us than Pompey-Caen)

20.5 mpg (a mystery why worse than '06, as she was a bit lighter this year) 

Oil consumed - 1/2 pint (nil last year) 

Water consumed - Nil (1 pint last year) 

V-max -indicated 65mph but never really bothered pushing her as it burnt out an exhaust valve last time.

Reliablity this year once again was completely faultless. Ok, she let in a little rain on the way home in the running torrents on the motorway, her rubber seals aren't as tight as they were in her youth. But which of us can honestly say we haven't sagged and perished a little over the years? I for one leak a bit these days and I noticed over the weekend that however much I shook my equipment during a big drinking session, there was always another little drop heading south to run down my leg ten seconds later. Thus I'm more than prepared to forgive her that one. And anyway, she later had a lovely time in Honfleur, sunning herself dry in the pretty old harbour and watching the fishing boats, before promenading along the beach and then onto our Golf Club at Deauville, her Union Jack fluttering proudly on her stern.

So it was a proud and moving moment when Steve, Chris and myself rolled up on the crunching gravel drive of Zarse Towers late on Monday. We patted her dashboard, congratulated her on another successful "mission accomplished" and then I sent a message to the engine room to shut down the power. She gave a little sigh and closed down with just a hint of over-run, the silence punctuated only by the ticking of British steel cooling in the night air.

We've kind of discovered over the last seven years that if you give her a little of yourself and look after her and be nice to her, then the Grand Old Lady of Le Mans will give it all back to you in spades; a comfy bed, decent cooking and washing facilities, load carrying capacity and a loyal companion on any journey. She finds goodwill wherever she goes, other drivers let you pull out of junctions and the amount of people who came up to us over the weekend to recall their own "Commer moment" was staggering. There's no doubt in my mind, she's the Queen of the Highway.

So as Chris said- "Permission to speak Sir?" "Three cheers for the Commer!"

GOD SHE'S A BEAUTY! 

[garyfrogeye]

Congratulation Andy,
I know exactly how you feel. My own 49 year old steed did his job magnificently all the way there and back, although he's drinking significantly more oil than you Comma.
He too got a pat on the dash and a "Well done lad", as we pulled into the garage.
Look after them and they'll make sure you get home safe and sound.

[vqdave]

Andy good to hear your rootes went down well as well. The Arrow went without fault, not one drop of oil or water consumed, just working out the MPG but all in we did just over 880 miles all in. Only mishap was not the cars fault, a high speed tyre blowout, yes i know high speed and humber do go together. Got a bit sideways but we got to the shoulder changed it and she motored on.

Didn't need the wipers, jsut as well as they are bodged together at the mo, rainex cleared the screen, just needed to keep up the speed to keep the screen clear, but that is no hardship in the humber.

880 + miles, not one ache or pain, in fact i felt fresher after a stint surrounded by velour and walnut, and an indicated top speed of 90mph.

And i can mirror your experience, everyone loved the car, everyone wanted to chat, took pics, i used to have one, what is it, what engine does it have, can i sit in it...........etc etc gawd bless rootes!!

[mgmark]

Funny, we all do the same thing - a pat on the dash and a few words of congratulation to the steed before shut down, followed by taking in the ticking sounds and smellls as she cools. 

The MGA managed the run at 70+, with 5 litres of oil and a half pint of coolant consumed over 1100 miles, mainly because in having resolved the fuel vaporisation problem, she is now running 10 degrees hotter, at around 195F, and temperature rising further when stuck in traffic, so using more oil as a result.  Normally I woulkd expect to use about a pint or two.  Fuel consumption varied around the 25-30mpg mark depending upon how spirited the driving was at the time.  Sticky wiper got fixed out there (just as well) and the carpets on the driver's side are still drying out.

As always, the classics draw glances, looks and comment from the multitude and they reward us by getting us there and back, just with the odd niggle or two to remind us that they do need maintenance.

MG Mark

[Lorry]

The MGA managed the run at 70+, with 5 litres of oil and a half pint of coolant consumed over 1100 miles,

This does seem a touch excessive, even for a car of that age.  The oil must be going somewhere, (stem seals?) do try and stop it as you're approaching the rule of thumb, two stoke oil mix and you've a duty to keep it running.

Apologies for the niggle

[Lord Pig-Pen]

Such wonderful words about such a wonderful vehicle! Loved the "so Sexy" outfits and cant wait to do it all again next year!

Plans are already being made for a vehicle for PIG-PEN RACING, which will have to be, in the words of my new Yank friends John & Chris (who blagged a lift in the caddy in exchange for fuel and hotel cost) "Real Shiddy". It will have to be how I like my women.... Big, wide, ugly and have alot of room in the back end.
Any suggestions greatly appreciated! An early 70's Zil is my current quest, with the help of Bill and his Russian contacts.

With regard to all the theiving that went on, I spoke to several people on monday who had had gear nicked, several lost passports and car keys, which really sucks. Some had caught people (English) robbing and dealt out the required justice, but we dont need that scum attending such a marvelous event. I think the security posters idea is a goodun, along with warnings of AHD for offenders caught.

Anyhoo.... Merguez and Tartiflet for dinner.

The Commer Rocks!

Pig-Pen. (The Brethren)

[Lazy B'stard]

Good to hear the old girl made it there and back. We saw her parked ready for the off at the edge of MB on sunday afternoon and nipped over to toast her a safe journey home (apart from seeing Alibongo on the outward leg-she was the only CA member we met all weekend- shame on us!). We were sheltering from the rain out back of the ACO building when she trundled past at 2pm and gave her 3 cheers (sneaking out before the bell again Zarse?). As you say -
SHE'S A BEAUTY! 

[Andy Zarse]

Good to hear the old girl made it there and back. We saw her parked ready for the off at the edge of MB on sunday afternoon and nipped over to toast her a safe journey home (apart from seeing Alibongo on the outward leg-she was the only CA member we met all weekend- shame on us!). We were sheltering from the rain out back of the ACO building when she trundled past at 2pm and gave her 3 cheers (sneaking out before the bell again Zarse?). As you say -
SHE'S A BEAUTY! 

We'd had more than enough of the rain and some of the boys had to be in Le havre by 19.00 so.... 

The toasting seems to have worked but you should have introduced your selves!

[Andy Zarse]

Such wonderful words about such a wonderful vehicle! Loved the "so Sexy" outfits and cant wait to do it all again next year!

Plans are already being made for a vehicle for PIG-PEN RACING, which will have to be, in the words of my new Yank friends John & Chris (who blagged a lift in the caddy in exchange for fuel and hotel cost) "Real Shiddy". It will have to be how I like my women.... Big, wide, ugly and have alot of room in the back end.
Any suggestions greatly appreciated! An early 70's Zil is my current quest, with the help of Bill and his Russian contacts.

With regard to all the theiving that went on, I spoke to several people on monday who had had gear nicked, several lost passports and car keys, which really sucks. Some had caught people (English) robbing and dealt out the required justice, but we dont need that scum attending such a marvelous event. I think the security posters idea is a goodun, along with warnings of AHD for offenders caught.

Anyhoo.... Merguez and Tartiflet for dinner.

The Commer Rocks!

Pig-Pen. (The Brethren)

Thanks mate, can I point out you are now Maison Blanche's second self-appointed peer! You also take a mean photo too 

With regard to the WARNING NO THIEVING poster idea, no doubt Russ could apply his arthritic, sorry I mean artistic hand to produce something demonstrative that won't need too many words? 

[Lazy B'stard]

The captain was away from his vessel at the time! Ooooh-er missus Enter smutty response here.....,.

[Leftie]

The captain was away from his vessel at the time! Ooooh-er missus Enter smutty response here.....,.

Oooohh No Matron!

Or

Nudge, Nudge Wink, Wink, Say no more Say no more!

[Lord Pig-Pen]

Zarse...Sir!

Ones peerage has been appointed by The Brethren, namely Dr Tray and Mr Chop, due to the fact that Pig-Pen Towers is a late 60's twin unit mobile home in the middle of the deep deep dark woods of Ossemsley near New Milton!

We should catch up for a beer sometime as I dont think you are that far away. Lady Pig-Pen is back from tasmania later this week and would be pleased to see you and especially your leather hooded chum. She liked him!!

Roll on next year.... long live the Commer ( I have a set of perfect badges and name letters somewhere in my stores if required), wish for a ZIL and the golden years are still here and to come. This was my 14th 0r 15th (cant remember) and no complaints... not even about the weather!

[Perdu]

The usual, congrats to Andy and the Eternal Commer. I am looking forward to meeting your new steed next time around milord and if I get down to the NewForsst soon I will be in touch. Drinkies beckon

Lara the Midge had a gruelling trip this year, two heavywieght blokes with luggage and rear springs made of wornout Post Office rubber bands I think. (New for LM three years ago too!) She were on her bump stops all the way, even when bladdering along the French Highways with lord Pigpen and Andy. She used no oil, and about a whisky glass of water for the trip, but she did have several nasty bouts of axle trampitis. New springs again for her  this autumn, just before Marham I think and maybe an anti-tramp bar too.

Andy, you are dead right about teating the lovely Commer well to get the best results. Long live the Commer and here's to many more Le Manses for her.

 

[Lord Pig-Pen]

With regards to camp security next year..... have found details of a supplier of hardcore paintballing kit... sounds gay but... they do all the tripwire operated flash/smoke cannisters, 4 minute heavy smoke cannisters, time delay bangers... and best of all... tripwire operated  heavy pva grenades that can be filled with the contents of your choice (well it said plastic bb pellets or paintballs) but the options seem limitless! Fish imulsion is an obvious choice as the culprit would be easily identified for several days despite washing repeatedly. (unless it was french pikey girl). Will keep you posted once have more details.

THE USE OF SUCH DEVICES MUST BE TREATED WITH CAUTION AS A LONE RETURN TO CAMP WHILE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF FRENCH POP COULD LEAD TO SEVERE SHOCK WHEN MEMORY LOSS TAKES OVER AND ONE FORGETS HE/SHE BOOBYTRAPPED ONES OWN TENT OR VEHICLE... BUT HE HE

NONE OF THE DEVICES ARE SAID TO BE DANGEROUS TO HEALTH!

[Lazy B'stard]

Not sure if I would want stinky fish paste going all over my tent, kit, car and clothes- rather the pikeys took a few items to be honest.:-o