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Author Topic: New Portsmouth to Caen Fast Ferry  (Read 5639 times)
Robbo SPS
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« on: November 18, 2003, 05:40:46 pm »



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Andy Zarse
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« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2003, 05:47:51 pm »

Never! Never! Never!

Why not? See here:
http://www.clubarnage.com/yabbse/index.php?board=1;action=display;threadid=74;start=0

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Robbo SPS
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« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2003, 05:58:27 pm »

I would argue the point had it not been for 2001 ( THE PMX first year of crossings ) when i too , had to run fom the outside smoking pit ( trying to get fresh air ) to the only toilet i knew of its location ( at the back ) , had to lunge for the sink because was ill. Yeah it can be a real vomit comet. The other boat in 2000 , the Superstar Express , that wa much better , with a huge outside puke parlour.

But....


I will still use the VC at some point......
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Andy Zarse
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« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2003, 06:26:08 pm »

Robbo for a better description heres something I posted ages ago in another thread, when Rhino enquired about travel on the VC:


And one must hope Rhino that you have the good sense to pack a sick bag as well. I'd take your own, a black bin bag should do the trick. You could wear it to keep every other f**ckers spew off you.

As I may have hinted at previously, we went on a seacat last year, called the Pompey Express to Cherborg - P&O Motto "Retch for the stars". I may have explained some of the unpleasantness involved and even that I slipped over in vomit in the gents toilet. But I don't think I explained how or why. So if you will indulge me...

On entering said lavvy, I was surprised to see what appeared to be a perfectly good portion of scrambled egg on toast lying in the middle of the floor. On closer inspection, I realised it had not half an hour previously belonged to someone, who had washed it down with (my best guess) a large latte. With two sugars. Anyway, the pitching of the boat had seemingly induced a slight feeling of queeziness upon the owner of the eggs. No doubt to be on the safe side, he had set off to the bogs, just in case.

Now walking about on a boat when suffering from motion sickness is not a clever idea. I reckon a massive wave of nausea struck his guts, and the hapless fool picked up his step in a vain attempt to reach the relative safety of the gents. Clearly, the inevitable had happen a short four paces from the lavvy bowl. A personal disaster for the poor chap and I expect it was splashed all down his trousers and shoes.

Anyway, there it was parked on the floor. I examined it closly wondering what it could possibly be, but recoiled in horror when it became acutely apparent that it was, in it's purest sense, unadulterated sick. It had a bubble in the top which I'm sure winked at me.

I was trying to give it a wide berth, when the boat pitched violently. It was at that moment I trod in an unseen line of what I can only descibe as digestive mucus, no doubt done by somebody who had nothing else left to hew. It had the friction properties of silicone grease. In a movement that Laurel and Hardy would have been proud, I was on my arse in a trice.

Not realising what had happened I glanced down at my left wrist. I was a little disappointed to note that it sitting in the pool of cold sputum. And someone elses to boot. It was all stuck in my watch strap and arm hair. Talk about heave! And the egg-sick was laughing at me I swear! All I can remember thinking was  "I'm ACK never GERKKK going on this GGWWWEEERRRPP fukin' sh**t tub HONK again!" Or words to that effect. And I bloody meant  it, by Huey and Ralph!
« Last Edit: November 18, 2003, 06:27:34 pm by Andy Zarse » Logged

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Chef
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« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2003, 11:57:28 pm »

i can confirm that due to the competition inforced by brittany sailing to cherbourg next year that p+o are adding a new service to caen.
it will be a fast craft (name, type, ect  t.b.a.) and will take roughly 3hr 45 mins. it will be called the caen express. stick that in your pipe and smoke it brittany  Grin Grin Grin Grin Shocked
the fast craft this year took more traffic to france than any other vesel out of portsmouth. p+o are spending millions on replacing the gear boxes that died last year and it will nolonger be used through out the winter in brazil, thus meaning it will be looked after.
more details will follow as i find them.
on a sader note, 600 staff were made redundant from p+o today, some from portsmouth.
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Ruptured Duck Motorsport
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« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2003, 09:08:05 am »

Used in Brazil?! christ - no wonder it was knackered!! they can even organise a GP with a circuit that has effective drainage or advertising that doesnt fall onto the track! Grin
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mgmark
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« Reply #6 on: November 19, 2003, 01:27:59 pm »

Catamaran = 2 fixed hulls versus waves/swell on the beam = corkscrew motion + alcohol/food = nausea = sick = better by boat or Eurotunnel........
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Andy Zarse
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« Reply #7 on: November 19, 2003, 03:25:38 pm »

Catamaran = 2 fixed hulls versus waves/swell on the beam = corkscrew motion + alcohol/food = nausea = sick = better by boat or Eurotunnel........

Mark you have forgotten two factors in your equation. It should be:

corkscrew motion x greasy bacon sandwich (x) divided by (y) the sum of no fresh air  + (z) (cigarette smoke+diesel fumes) applied to the aggregate factor of watching other folk chuck up/queue for the bogs to the power of 10.
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Chef
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« Reply #8 on: November 19, 2003, 04:37:19 pm »

Used in Brazil?! christ - no wonder it was knackered!! they can even organise a GP with a circuit that has effective drainage or advertising that doesnt fall onto the track! Grin

hence the fact its been f@#*ed every year its been rumming. hopfully this may stop as believe it or not p+o are accnoledged as being one of the best when it comes to maintenance.
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Andy Zarse
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« Reply #9 on: November 19, 2003, 04:58:01 pm »

No doubt it has been run flat out all winter, delivering tons of finest Columbian marching powder.
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Chef
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« Reply #10 on: November 20, 2003, 01:11:48 am »

No doubt it has been run flat out all winter, delivering tons of finest Columbian marching powder.

has been know for 'extras' to come back with it.

now and again.
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Mr Toad
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« Reply #11 on: December 01, 2003, 08:07:40 pm »

Excuse me Gents, but I can't see any open passenger deck on this vessel to pop champagne corks at the crew or to laugh at cars coming on board with less than 5mm ground clearance - surely it will never take off for Le Mans?

Toad
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Robbo SPS
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« Reply #12 on: December 01, 2003, 11:34:21 pm »

5mm clearance - Its got a near 6 inch drop when you get on in Pompey, even motorbikes have clearance issues , let along Lambo's and Ferraris.

But.....

The SUN deck is right behind the bridge ( you can see the men driving the boat daddy ), so popping corks , or even taking over the bridge terrorist style are very easy..... Shocked
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« Reply #13 on: December 04, 2003, 12:00:09 pm »

Arrival and departure times are not clever though. There are only two daily crossings, 06.45 (what time would you have to get up) arriving 11.10 or 15.20 arriving at 19.45 - by the time you've driven to the camp site you've missed out on significant drinking time and you'll be putting up the tent in the dark. When you wake up next morning you'll find you've put the tent in the puddle accumlating behind the bog block and 45 Danes have pitched their tents around your car. Factor in the previously mentioned vomit and the £284 return ticket price and I shall be spending my money with the Tunnelers.
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