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nopanic - neil
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« on: May 24, 2012, 07:56:39 pm » |
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Seems I need to sort out a few things for Le Mans this year, Have my priorities sorted (almost) My list - so far (more to follow) 1. Drinking -  (waiting for the obvious) |
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
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Fran
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« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2012, 08:56:45 pm » |
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Oh hush!  |
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Perdu
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« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2012, 09:39:57 pm » |
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I thought of taking my mountain bike so I could accompany Fran round the sites/sights… Not bothering now  I wonder if I need to get into practise for the Stella/stubbies/poisonous lagery stuff... No Think I will just sip along gently as usual (I looked at me tent the other day, it's still where I left it sitting in the garage in 2009. sleeping bags and bed still there too) I think I'm about ready Bring it on |
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"Ha ha you can't a fool me, there ain't a no sanity clause!"
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Jules G
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« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2012, 11:00:17 pm » |
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Lazy B'stard
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« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2012, 10:08:15 am » |
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My plans were coming along nicely. Having decided to take the camper instead of the Jensen, I thought that all I needed to do was increase my daily beer intake so as not to shock the liver come the time. However.......
Driving home in said van last night there was an almighty bang which was soon followed by a revolting smell I can only describe as a very old, wet golden retriever, that's been rolling in a mixture of pig manure, very expensive French cheese and toe batter ( you know, that foul smelling stuff you get having trimmed down your ingrowning toe nails. Why is it that you always sniff it at least twice?).
Pulling over at the side of the road and vomiting in front of two elderly women, I gathered my composure and pulled my T shirt up over my nose before re-entering the van to investigate.
My mind instantly went back to Christmas, when a few days after the turkey fest, myself and a few dozen friends ventured down to Dalby Forest on the pretence of riding bicycles, rather than our true objective which was to stand around moaning about Christmas whilst emptying several hip flasks.
Anyhoo. Being the host, I took down several packs of bacon, bread, tea, coffee and milk. When my friends arrived they were treated by bacon butties and a brew. What a jolly day we had. My friend drove me home whilst I snoozed in a drunken state. Oh happy days.
Fast forward to yesterday, a hot day on the back of several similar hot days. The sleepy market town of Morpeth was rocked by an explosion of such magnitude it could be smelled all the way to Blyth (some feat indeed as it always smells of fish and crack).
Now I'm not sure if Al-Qaeda are Club Arnage members, but they could be onto something here. Take one carton of innocent looking milk and leave in the mini fridge of a van for five months. Add a few warm days and bingo!
So, back on topic. My preparations for Le Mans now involves buying a new van. The current van is being wrapped in thick lead sheets and then will be lowered into the ground and encased in concrete. As for myself, I'm sure that the bleach which I'm pouring up my nostrils four times a day will have taken effect by June, and hey at least the nasal hair problem that I've developed as a near forty is now a distant memory. I'm emotionally scarred for sure, and I'll never be able to touch dairy products again ( even the thoughts of breasts make me shudder today), but hopefully, one day I'll be able to put it all behind me.
Remember kids. Milk is evil.
Si
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« Last Edit: May 25, 2012, 10:10:38 am by Lazy B'stard »
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Dick Dasterdly was right
'Don't just stand there, do something!'
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Werner
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« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2012, 10:15:02 am » |
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My plans were coming along nicely. Having decided to take the camper instead of the Jensen, I thought that all I needed to do was increase my daily beer intake so as not to shock the liver come the time. However.......
Driving home in said van last night there was an almighty bang which was soon followed by a revolting smell I can only describe as a very old, wet golden retriever, that's been rolling in a mixture of pig manure, very expensive French cheese and toe batter ( you know, that foul smelling stuff you get having trimmed down your ingrowning toe nails. Why is it that you always sniff it at least twice?).
Pulling over at the side of the road and vomiting in front of two elderly women, I gathered my composure and pulled my T shirt up over my nose before re-entering the van to investigate.
My mind instantly went back to Christmas, when a few days after the turkey fest, myself and a few dozen friends ventured down to Dalby Forest on the pretence of riding bicycles, rather than our true objective which was to stand around moaning about Christmas whilst emptying several hip flasks.
Anyhoo. Being the host, I took down several packs of bacon, bread, tea, coffee and milk. When my friends arrived they were treated by bacon butties and a brew. What a jolly day we had. My friend drove me home whilst I snoozed in a drunken state. Oh happy days.
Fast forward to yesterday, a hot day on the back of several similar hot days. The sleepy market town of Morpeth was rocked by an explosion of such magnitude it could be smelled all the way to Blyth (some feat indeed as it always smells of fish and crack).
Now I'm not sure if Al-Qaeda are Club Arnage members, but they could be onto something here. Take one carton of innocent looking milk and leave in the mini fridge of a van for five months. Add a few warm days and bingo!
So, back on topic. My preparations for Le Mans now involves buying a new van. The current van is being wrapped in thick lead sheets and then will be lowered into the ground and encased in concrete. As for myself, I'm sure that the bleach which I'm pouring up my nostrils four times a day will have taken effect by June, and hey at least the nasal hair problem that I've developed as a near forty is now a distant memory. I'm emotionally scarred for sure, and I'll never be able to touch dairy products again ( even the thoughts of breasts make me shudder today), but hopefully, one day I'll be able to put it all behind me.
Remember kids. Milk is evil.
Si
Could you illustrate it with a picture of the mini fridge? This story would be a wonderful bit for teh CA Guide  Werner |
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"… to be honest, I did it purely for the money at first. I went to Le Mans
hoping that the car would break down. I came away in love with the place." - Eddie Irvine
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Lazy B'stard
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« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2012, 10:43:16 am » |
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No way, that would require going back inside the van to get a photo and it's still cordoned off whilst forensics do their job. I have been working hard on a plan to deal with it though.  I think it just needs colouring in now and it will be finished. |
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« Last Edit: May 25, 2012, 10:54:52 am by Lazy B'stard »
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Dick Dasterdly was right
'Don't just stand there, do something!'
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Werner
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« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2012, 12:04:13 pm » |
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LOL
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"… to be honest, I did it purely for the money at first. I went to Le Mans
hoping that the car would break down. I came away in love with the place." - Eddie Irvine
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Shortcut
CA Veteran
Jr. Member
 Offline
Posts: 63
Team Booze 'n' Tabs
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« Reply #8 on: May 25, 2012, 09:56:29 pm » |
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Sir, I believe you have missed a tremendous marketing trick here. Surely you have created a cheese to rival the great and aptly named Stinking Bishop  Why not venture back into the secured area, open the sealed fridge and sample the bacterial delight. I am sure it would win a contest somewhere......  |
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"What do you mean you are busy in the second week in June for the rest of your life!"
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landman
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« Reply #9 on: May 26, 2012, 09:15:24 am » |
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You need to some how capture that cheese, then lay it around the camp on Sunday night as a pikey prevention system. It's like cats & lion poo - so I'm told. |
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Crouch..........bind..........set
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termietermite
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« Reply #10 on: May 26, 2012, 12:36:59 pm » |
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a pikey prevention system. Liverot works equally well. The problem is that you cannot sleep in the camp or anywhere near it. Or Munster. Banned on French buses though so if you buy some at Carrefour you must either walk back to the circuit or put it in your car... Still can't stop laughing about your post Si. You clearly missed your vocation as an artist too. |
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"I couldn't sleep very well last night. Some noisy buggers going around in automobiles kept me awake." Ken Miles
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Kev_mk3
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« Reply #11 on: May 26, 2012, 08:36:31 pm » |
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I purchased this -  then i connect it via wifi to either my phone or home internet and sit in the garden with this -  and tune in to radio lemans while having a bbq. I may not be at Leman this year but i wont be missing it |
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Brad Zarse
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« Reply #12 on: May 27, 2012, 12:00:28 am » |
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Whats the matter Kev? Struggling to use a proper computer??  |
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lofty
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« Reply #13 on: May 27, 2012, 09:57:28 am » |
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had a little practice last night.i am paying for it this morning.head hurts like old ned.orange juice and cider the only cure for breakfast.
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J.E.D.I.
i dont want to be in a club
i want to be in a gang
or perhaps a drinking order
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Kev_mk3
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« Reply #14 on: May 27, 2012, 03:15:15 pm » |
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Whats the matter Kev? Struggling to use a proper computer?? Not at all but with possibly being away from home that weekend i wont have access to a computer so connect it to my phone via wifi - done. I cant miss it then |
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