Circuit changes

[BigH]

Picked this up from another site:

On Le Mans Racing today :
- 9 new pits instead of the 4 provisionnal ones
- press and lounges above, but no grandstands : VIP facilities instead
- new Welcome Center on three levels
- Restaurant in this Welcome, with a 180° windows, next to the track
- plus grandstands/facilities VIP on the top
- enlargement of the Paddock at 55 places
- Village pushed by the new Paddock, closer from the Dunlop passerelle
- Village : no more concrete houses : provisionnal barnums (tents) instead
- MODIFICATION OF THE TERTRE ROUGE CURVE, to let place to a wider gravel trap (starting after 2004' race)
- pedestrian tunnel to cross the track and give an access to the Village
- NEW TESTS TRACKS
- Maison Blanche grandstands refurbished
- Laigné road moved nearby the airplane runway
- a real way for cars and pedestrians INSIDE the track

H

[hgb]

These are quite a lot at one time. 9 more pits and a tunnel are good news. Where's the info from ?

[Ruptured Duck Motorsport]

An awful lot going up for VIPs...

Lets hope the "ordinary" fan gets something from these improvements.

[Robbo SPS]

Yeah another piss filled tunnel
and more crummbling roads to get run over by VIP's on ??

Higher banking at Arnage and more scope for photos at Mulsanne

Maybe.....

Wonder if the VIP food is better then the track stuff ??

[Andy Zarse]

As ever, some changes will be better, some will be bad news. I reckon the Village as we know it will go to make way for our VIP friends. The shampoo bar will not be in the same place. They will replace it with three new ones just to bugger up the CA meet. BTW why did they knock down the old carousel shaped shampoo thing and replace it with a crappy tent? What harm did it do? In fact why did they knock down the lovely old tribunes opposite and then replace them with useless temporary stands. I mean, knock em down and build shiny new ones, but to leave a pile of bare earth is ridiculous.

Hope the food improves in the new Welcome centre. Last time I ate there at pre qual 2001, I went in hungry and came out pretty much the same way, as the food made me heave. I shudder at the thought of it.

Will someone write "Morte aux Vache" in the new tunnel? Hope so.

[Matt Harper]

Well put Zarse.
The champagne bar used to be just that - a circular bar (access all sides) with a great big, f**k-off cork on the roof.  In fact there were two of them in the early 80's. The bar staff all wore natty waistcoats, dress shirts and dicky bows and it was a proper good venue day or night - particularly as there was the old geezer across the way with the humungous rotisserie and Grand Marnier crepes just a staggering distance away.
It's been a long time coming, but Le Mans will be hijacked by corporate motorsport and all our old thru' race haunts will become VIP access only - you mark my words. Mere peons such as ourselves (apologies if you are not a peon) will then, as at most international race venues, be expected to pay your enrty fee and stare at the back of someone's head for 24 hours.
It saddens me, but it all seems to be going to rat sh*t. Maybe it's just that I'm getting old - but Le Mans used to be such a fun, relaxed and easy-to-do event, right up until the late '90s.
Everything is such a pain in the arse now, with all the agg about tickets, camp sites and parking, removal of spectating facilities and heavy-handedness by the organisers and the local plod.
I have to do an 8000 mile round-trip (with associated cost) to include Le Mans in my motor racing calendar. For the last couple of years it has become a little difficult to justify. Deep down I know I'll chill-out and be there again next year, but this thread has depressed me a bit. It's all your fault, H....
Regards to all
Matt
 

[Robbo SPS]

Maybe CA  can in some way become Corporate , we could sponsor " The General Public" or maybe a campsite ?? Then all members get VIP slots in a tribune

[BigH]

Matt, don't despair,
I've managed to obtain some further info on the changes, and although I may have made a few minor errors in translation, I reckon I've got the gist of it:

The nine new pits will not simply be an extension of the rest of the grid. They will be awarded to the teams with the most scantily clad pit girls. Buffing will be encouraged.

The VIP lounges above, will be based on a 'Gibbet' design, and used to suspend VIP's

I misread the info on the new Welcome Centre. It will not be on three levels, but will in fact be on three wheels. It will be moved to a different location every hour during darkness.

The 180 degree windows will be mirrored and one way. And in the ladies rest rooms.

This will explain my earlier observations of  "enlargement in the paddock"

The new pedestrian tunnel will be patrolled by the Michelle Pfieffer BJ school on their complementary fact finding European tour.

The new toilet blocks are to be manned by female dwarves with disproportionately large and unequal breasts, who will 'hold things steady' while the patrons check their headset radios and hip flasks.

The modification to Tetre Rouge will take the track through the living room of the ACO president.

The champagne bar will be free, with pole dancers and prizes for over indulgence.

Eggs and tomatoes will be supplied to fans in the village with which to greet the extra volume of cars that will be allowed in.

Yes, I remember the double cork design of the old Champers bar. After each bottle had sent us alternately knock kneed and bow legged we would retire exhausted to the Railway Bar, a railway carriage under a tree adapted to serve beer and frites, and sit down for a while. This has now been replaced by a skip, where people go behind for a leak. On balance, I preferred the bar.

Get there next year, make the best of what's left before it's all gone.

H

[Steve Pyro]

Great stuff H,
I assume all this will even further encroach on the fun fair.
So definately no Pigales or Wall of Death next year then  

[Ruptured Duck Motorsport]

The new toilet blocks are to be manned by female dwarves with disproportionately large and unequal breasts, who will 'hold things steady' while the patrons check their headset radios and hip flasks.

Will they have a flat head to rest your drink on too?

(the ages old gag - ideal woman = 3ft high, no teeth and a flat head to rest your drink on)

[hgb]

Phew, so the future looks brighter than ever.  

[Matt Harper]

Just let me contemplate pole dancers at the champagne bar for a moment or two....... Yup, that would certainly restore my enthusiasm manifoldly. In fact this potential enterprise has serious commercial merit.
I have just attended the dullest trade show in Christendom (The National Association of Elevator Contractors - they're a right giddy bunch, I can tell you) - however one or two of the booths, featuring the most boring selection of elevator associated crap, were festooned with the most agreeable and semi-clad flange that it has been my pleasure to ogle in many a long week.
It seems that one is able to sell any number of door openers and hoist cable guide trunnions, by having strategically placed, for the most part, naked chicks with comedy tits, suggestively fondling the elevating aparatus. I'd half a mind to buy some myself - and I'm a rafia basket-weaver by trade.
I suspect that a battallion of oiled-up, writhing floozies might negate the requirement for a motor race at all.
Capital idea H, what will it take to put it in place?
Matt  

[gibberish]

Capital idea H, what will it take to put it in place?
Matt  

A bloody miracle

[Robbo SPS]

Lots and lots of Champagne in the  Hawian Tropic Girls tents  

[Russ]

Lots and lots of Champagne in the  Hawian Tropic Girls tents  

Shouldn't that be...

Lots and lots of Hawian Tropic Girls in the Champagne tent...

Actually, I think you had it right Robbo!