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Nordic
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« on: January 19, 2005, 11:24:51 am » |
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Some people will tell you that slow is good - and it may be, on some days - but I am here to tell you that fast is better.
H S Thompson 1937 - 2005
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The Planman
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Fresh Orange Juice isn't fresh without Vodka
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« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2005, 01:54:50 pm » |
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Ouch !!!
Mind you , lucky bastard for being alive !!
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Mr. Rick
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« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2005, 09:56:39 am » |
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'Kin nora!! Mind you at least the bike was intact!  And he climbed out and rode home too!!! Some people will go to extremes for that £250 on You've Been Framed!! |
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The Planman
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Fresh Orange Juice isn't fresh without Vodka
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« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2005, 09:59:59 am » |
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I bet he drinks Carling Black Label, or, I bet he eats 2 Shredded Wheat, with no milk!!
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BigH
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« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2005, 10:17:52 am » |
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Rick,
Inspired partly by the heroics described on this forum last year, and partly by a month of abuse, I have decided to take up bicycling, and already have quite a few miles under my belt. That's a metaphorical belt, obviously, this lycra stuff holds its own.
Trouble is, my scrotum's in a terrible state, the wrinkled old retainer's starting to look like a bag of out of date christmas satsumas.
Perhaps you could have a look at it for me?
H
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Always with the negative waves Moriarty, always with the negative waves...
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Mr. Rick
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« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2005, 12:27:30 pm » |
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Always happy to oblige H! I consider it an honour that I have been chosen from all those gathered here to get first dibs.  Now firstly, prior to inspection, indulge me for a few questions if you will old bean.... 1) What is the current state of your perineum? (Otherwise known as a "Tinta" on a bird .. as in "t'int a c**t and it t'int an a*se"). Is it bleeding after long hard rides? 2) Have you tried "redressing" to the other side? As you well know I'm sure, our dear old nads are asymmetrical and the minuscule (I use that word carefully when talking about a man's "private kingdom" as I know it easily offends!) difference could indeed make all the difference. 3) Are you actually using a saddle on your bike? Or are you like Lord and Lady Whiteadder in this department? If so, I hereby rename you Nathaniel, for sitting on a spike. I await your esteemed reposte with great moistness. Yours, with warmed hands, Dr. Rick |
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The Planman
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Fresh Orange Juice isn't fresh without Vodka
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« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2005, 01:47:38 pm » |
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Dr. Rick
Word of warning H, ask yourself, is Dr Rick a real Dr? Also the same could be asked of Dr Zarse! To be fair, my arse is on fire (see Jag thred). Planman |
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BigH
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« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2005, 03:35:54 pm » |
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Thanks for the advice Rick. I've tried to take a peek at my perineum, but I have to say, it hasn't been placed in a very convenient place. I suspect it's in tatters and looks a little like Paul Scholes.
I'm off on a bleeding long hard ride tonight, if my luck's in, and have discovered that if I bend over in front of the plate glass window in Woolworths I can get a pretty good view, so I'll let you know how I get on. Maybe I can get a passer by to take a photo.
My nads are just no good for anything anymore, and I'm reminded of Newtons cradle, or perhaps the Clackers craze that swept through school when I was a (fertile) lad. I'm thinking of putting them on e-bay.
Do you think vegetable oil would help?
H
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Always with the negative waves Moriarty, always with the negative waves...
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Mr. Rick
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« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2005, 04:02:09 pm » |
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Vegetable oil always helps .. in any situation.
I've found that I can actually put the numbing sensation to good use and no longer have to rely on recounting Le Mans winners in my head at "the" moment to prolong things.
Apparently (according to the blurb on the packaging for the new saddle I've bought for this season) blood flow to the region of nethers is reduced to 18% of normal on some saddles!! Might explain a lot. This new saddle has a crafty crevice which only restricts blood flow to 82% - oh well, now where were we, oh yes, the 1923 winners were...........
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Russ
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I think this is yours...
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« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2005, 04:25:59 pm » |
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One of two things happened to me...
Either I had a 40 mile cycle ride from Licester to Northampton for charity and spent a few quid on a padded cycle seat for added comfort... and had a few jars post race...
Or I was out on the town when an African Elephant slipped something into my drink...
Either way, all I remember is waking in the morning unable to walk due to some extreme pain round the back...
That's the last time I drink down the 'Never Forget' on the Unsworth Road...
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Fred Dibnah Memorial
Gland in the hand worth two in a Bush Tour 2007
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Andy Zarse
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« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2005, 05:51:19 pm » |
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I wonder if they make a bicycle seat version of this beauty?
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I wouldn't sit there if I were you, it's still a bit wet.
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Mr. Rick
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« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2005, 06:03:54 pm » |
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Sure something could be fangled together here! Not quite as aerodynamic as one would like though.
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Fax
Guest
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« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2005, 08:38:40 pm » |
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I've got a nice Selle Italia sadle on the Gitane and its perfectly comfortable for three or four hours out on the road but anything over a half hour on the training rollers and the little spud goes positively numb. Gives me a damn good excuse for not spending much time on that instrument of torture (the rollers) anyway.
Fax
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Dave H
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burrrrrrrrppppp
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« Reply #14 on: January 21, 2005, 02:31:00 am » |
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Ah, another chance for me to bring my vast experience in the erectile dysfunction treatment market to the forefront.
Basically, you're all pedaling down the floppy highway, sailing through flacid county and free-wheeling right into the town square of wobbly-ville!
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