things you don't expect to hear.....

Getting back onto the main subject, there are two instances in my life that the spoken word had left me totally gobsmacked.........

First time, sirca 1972.

I was working in south St. Chichester installing a new main drainage system.
My pal Brian and myself took a break from working down the 3m deep trench and were sitting on the road on the edge of the trench.

Coffee in one hand, ciggie in the other, we were looking around and I saw two young ladies about 100yards walking towards us. One was slim and very tasty, the other definately 'rotunde'.

I nudged Brian and said ' don't like your's mate'. We both had a laugh.

After a few minutes, the larger of the two tapped me on the shoulder and said ' You're no f**cking oil painting either'.

I nearly fell down the trench!.

Second time, 1985.

The Law Courts' cellar bar in Chancelry Lane London.

Went to me the wife and friends for a drink and then a meal.

I had spent most of the day at my bank discussing 'Start Up Loans, Business Plans etc' so was quite knackered.

Mike knew I was starting a business and asked how it had gone today.

So for the next ten minutes or so I explained. However, on the next table there was a couple in their late 20's, early 30's having drinks. she had more than she could handle really as the amount of flirting going on was causing concern to many people.

I had to cease my explanation to Mike when this couple rose to leave because she tapped my shoulder and said very loudly ' Tell me, is your c*ck as big as your mouth?.

Falling off the chair was my next movement.