1) Tell your boss the reason you were late was because you fancied sex before work.
2) Stumble back from lunch, two hours late, drunk, chanting "The Venga bus is coming..."
3) Break wind as a result of last night's vindaloo during an appraisal and turn round to sniff the seat.
4) Photocopy your backside and pin it to the notice board.
5) Ask the chief executive for some Rizlas.
6) Admit you traded in your company car for a two-week bonkathon in Ibiza.
7) Set up your own S&M dungeon in the stationary cupboard.
Bring a sleeping bag to work for those little afternoon naps.
9) Pawn your computer because you're skint till payday.
10) Start a one-man/women Mexican wave every time someone leaves their desk.
(doing the rounds by email)
