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lofty
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« Reply #2445 on: February 16, 2018, 04:49:54 pm » |
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Tat
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J.E.D.I.
i dont want to be in a club
i want to be in a gang
or perhaps a drinking order
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lofty
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« Reply #2446 on: February 16, 2018, 04:53:34 pm » |
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Joke
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J.E.D.I.
i dont want to be in a club
i want to be in a gang
or perhaps a drinking order
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Rhino
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« Reply #2447 on: February 16, 2018, 07:29:52 pm » |
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I was kidnapped by mime artists, they did unspeakable things to me.
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Never argue with an idiot, they'll only drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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lofty
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« Reply #2448 on: June 28, 2018, 03:43:19 pm » |
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Berqa
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J.E.D.I.
i dont want to be in a club
i want to be in a gang
or perhaps a drinking order
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Kev_mk3
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« Reply #2449 on: October 02, 2018, 09:33:58 pm » |
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Just applied for a job with Citroën. I had to send two cvs.  |
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Kev_mk3
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« Reply #2450 on: October 02, 2018, 09:35:09 pm » |
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I've no idea why my new plug in air freshener won't work, I plug it in and switch it on.. nothing!
I've tried everything, It just doesn't make scents.
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Kev_mk3
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« Reply #2451 on: October 02, 2018, 09:37:25 pm » |
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Nelson Mandela was sitting at home when he heard a knock at the door. He answered it. There is a Chinese man with a clip board, yelling 'you sign , you sign'' whilst pointing to a van load of exhausts for cars. Nelson Mandela refuses, saying ''look, you've got the wrong address'' and shuts the door.
Next day, there is another knock at the door. It is the Chinese delivery man back, this time with a van load of brake pads. Yelling again ''you sign , you sign''. Again Nelson Mandela, refuses, saying ''clear off. you've got the wrong address''.
The following day the same thing happens. The Chinese man back, this time with a van full of windscreens. Again saying ''you sign , you sign'' .
This time Nelson Mandela loses his temper ''look, you must have the wrong name, I don't want these, who do you want them for''.
The Chinese man looks puzzled, looks at his clipboard and says '' so you are not Nissan main dealer?''
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lofty
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« Reply #2452 on: December 13, 2018, 12:40:54 pm » |
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Topical
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J.E.D.I.
i dont want to be in a club
i want to be in a gang
or perhaps a drinking order
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jimclark
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« Reply #2453 on: December 27, 2018, 03:24:46 am » |
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SPAGHETTI .
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for
several years.
One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in
him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his
reputation or his marriage,he paid her a large sum of money
if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also
provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was
born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a
post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then
arrange for child support payments.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused
wife. Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post
card today."
Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it ," he said. The
wife obeyed, and, watched as her husband read the card,
turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written: V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one
without !!!!
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"Those were the days my friends. We thought they'd never end..."
jimclark
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