2 drunk blokes ( not me)

its late
very very late
wheres my wallet gone
not in tent oh no
wakes up mate in other tent, who has mobile gets on to bank to try stop cards etc
2 drunk blokes search around our tents for a good hour
sun is coming up
2 drunk blokes walk all round houx annex roads
still no sign
still cant get through to bank
2 drunk blokes getting a wee bit cold
decide to get a shirt on before looking round the roads again
drunk bloke with wallet goes into tent again lifts shrit of floor
ah ha.... wallet never left tent....
3 days later on Ferry back to Scotland still cant remember putting wallent in tent for safety.....

the cheese omlete is from le mans 2004 this year....
I wont tell you about how we drove nearly all the way round paris cause this bloke was map ( yes a bloke) reading
1. if he was a bloke why did he need a map
2. if he really is a bloke why was he reading it upside down, in the direction of travel??

I’d made a cheese omelet for my breakfast one day
ME: Morning,
PLANK: Morning,
PLANK: I’m going to have some eggs
ME: Oh,  I had a cheese omelet
PLANK : what did you use for cheese?
Me : ? err cheese

can anyone beat that ( I'll leave out the compliant about the "stale" german bread)

For years and years Dougie H was always last to do anything, even on the Monday he was always last up, last to pack up. He was last year awarded faffer of the year. This year he had strong competiton with many of out party staying up until dawn, but the youngsters could not out faff the master - he was still the one everyone else had to hang around for...
Does anyone else experience this?