Before anyone starts!
I've learn't my lesson O.K.
I know none of you really care but i think i owe you all an update.Three out of Four Expo Ticket's have gone at just over face value(to cover postage) Honest!!!!!!!!!.
I still have one left if any one wants it.
It is still available AT FACE VALUE PLUS A SMALL CONSIDERATION FOR POSTAL COSTS ONLY.Bring it on................

Ok,

To lighten up a little can anyone beat this?

A bloke is driving to work, he's late and is speeding a little.
He drives over a bridge and sure enough, sat on the other side
there is a police officer with a radar gun. The police officer
stops the bloke and asks him why he is speeding.

"I'm late for work" the bloke explains

"Oh" says the officer, " and what do you do that is so important
you need to speed to get there?"

"Well I'm a rectum stretcher" says the bloke

"A Rectum stretcher" enquires the officer,
"and what the hell does a Rectum Stretcher do?"

"Well" explains the guy "I stretch Arseholes,
first I put one finger in, then two, then three, then four
and I keep going until I can get both of my hands in.
Then I slowly stretch my arms out until the Arsehole is about 6 foot!"

"And what the heck do you do with a six foot arsehole" asks the officer!
                                                                                                   

"WELL YOU GIVE IT A
RADAR GUN AND SIT IT
ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!"
                   

So what am i to do know Uncle,
i am left with the 4 hottest tickets in history,i think i got more chance of shifting the Crown Jewels than these bloody things!

BigH,
Your worried about Eternal Damnation! At this rate i am going to have to change campsites ,move away from Epsom,dye my hair,grow a beard,change my name, and probably end up buying a Morgan!!!!!!!!
Still so be it,

However i have had an idea! next year instead of trying the 'Hard Luck Story' approach i am proposing to RAFFLE any spare tickets on this very site.
Now Mr Smokie where is the downside to that? Say a pound a ticket(well below face of course) including costs of course.
Aston Club here i come!!!!

Sorry got to go Uncle Dave's calling............

Maggie,
I love you will you marry me??
I may only be a poor wimpy profiteering reptile with too much earwax and 4 spare tickets i dare not sell!.
But as they say 'Beauty is only skin deep' we could spend the rest of our lives together selling Tickets on E-Bay!
How about it?

But Uncle Dave you said i should never talkabout that!!!!!

Matt my sell you something near though

I think TIT 15ME sold a year or so ago,
Sorry to dissapoint.

As you said you would be Big Boy!
Bust (for that was) next time we will try your Just Tickets scam instead!!!!!!!!!!!

Now look Brave Dave you can't even spell my(to quote Matt) Fxxk'in name right!(how am i doing guy's?) so let it go!!!!!!!!!

Matt its not creepy mate is bloody obvious!
Sorry to shatter your illusions mate.
We are supposed to let this one go by the way!!!!!!
On the assumption you can read that is.

Smokie if thats what you think then that's good enough for me!
He won't be hard to spot though  i bet,
In a tent on his own with a Shandy in hand.

Oh Matt i think you may have come a bit too close to being nice with those well chosen words.
Is my "POSSIBLE PARTICIPATION" in this Madhouse up to you then?  (Smokie Watch Out!!!!!).
But i can see why you got 4 spare tickets!
I don't need your "Flying Farts" or apology,nice Newbie reception though.

Oh dear i didn't realise i would stir up such as fuss,
Smokie i appreciate your comment regarding the rules which i did read prior to posting.
So far in the space of 5 hours i have been told to F**CK OFF,Accussed of being a Morgan Team Manager and now Profiteering(in the politest way).
You mention to quote"and any offers for sale should be for face value + reasonable costs (p&p) only.
Profiteering can be tried elsewhere but not here.)
Should i break down my total costs incurred in obtaining these tickets?
I really meant no harm you know and i can assure you that was no hard luck story dispite what some may think, believe what you want Matt as i am sure you will!!!!!!!!!
I leave this with you all in the true Spirit of Le Mans

No Dave,
 I need a PPPPPP rather than an MMMMMM for that!