A small and simple rule which has stood me in good stead throughout my life:-

Never f**k anything you can't take in a fair fight.

Waaay up in the Apalachian Mountains a young couple have just got wed. In their honeymoon cabin the groom is waiting for his young bride  (bout 12 up there I should think) to appear from the bathroom, and out she steps.

"Esau" she says (they have that sort of name up there) "Esau, afore I come to bed I got something to tell you"

"Whats that Ellie May" he replies.

"Esau, I got to tell you Ize a virgin"

Well, Esau screams blue murder, leaps out of the bed, throws his clothes on and runs home, bursts in the door and confronts his father, sitting in front of the fire smoking his pipe. The father looks up and says

"Boy, what you doing home? You should be with your purty (like the accent?) young bride Ellie May"

"But Pa" says the lad "Ellie May done told me she's a virgin!"

"Damn" says the father "Damn! Well in that case you done the right thing coming home. If'n she ain't good enough for her own family she ain't good enough for ours"

Er, any CA members from the Appalachians?

Sounds fair to me.

The edited bit makes a lot of sense, the chequered body suit makes some sense, but (and I think we should be told) why has she got a sheet tied round her head? I thought I had been around a bit but I must have missed that.

So Many Perversions, So Little Time....

Oh, just remembered, last years US GP, the race was crap! Not the fault of Indianaplois though, probably something to do with the Germans and the Italians! Seriously though, what is it coming to when the defintition of a good race is one which Schumacher (M?) doesnt win? AND, if anyone missed my earlier post, Indianaplois Speedway, you are never further than about 100 yards from a food and drink outlet. What more could you want? (answers in a sealed enevelope to the usual adress please.)

Thanks to you all guys, very valued opinions. My brother in law and I have been doing a race a year for few years now and we went to the US GP last year. It absolutely bowled me over! The facilities (after Europe, which tend to be overpriced crap) were unbelivable but, most of all, the people (in Indie, I dont pretend to know America) were FANTASTIC! Incidentally, for what it's worth, I thoroughly recommend the Slippery Noodle Inn in Indianapolis, you want a good night? You will get one! Thanks again for the advice, all taken to heart, I will let you know what we decide.

I know it's a bit outside the mandate for this sight but, in my pursuit of new experiences (and Oh I do pursue them!) has anyone been to, or have any knowledge of the Daytona 24 Hours? Like, is it worth going to? All replies gratefully received etc.

Oh, all right then, I know I want to!

Marvellous!

Thanks Rick, youve just made a happy man feel very old! Oh it's all come flooding back, I feel 18 again, catch you later, just off to do something outrageous. I cant help musing about a purple merkin though, you knwo how it is, once some thing gets between your teeth.....

In oppostion to all these (very funny) jokes a feminist one! (sometimes I like to contact my softer side!)

3 women discussing their love lives.

First one says "My sex life is like a Ferrari, thrusting, urgent and powerful"

Second one says "Mine is like a Rolls Royce, smooth, spohisticated and deceptively fast"

Third says "mine's like a ride on lawn mower, I have to start it by hand and jump on quick before it stops"

Oh well, please yourselves....

Oh, and re Gabrielle Drake with a purple wig, I dont remember the skirts as being QUITE that short (Sorry moderator, sorry), anyone for a merkin?

Thanks Rick but, er, no not an Integrale I'm afraid but a Thema Turbo (sorta Integrale for when you get old!) and re pics of Wanda NO! or at least not if they are recent. Please leave me some illusions, I'm going back about 30 years for christ's sake! LOL

Just struck me that my Thema is the Stanna Chairlift of the performance car world. Damn, thats the saddest thought this week.....

I'm off to bed, you coming Wanda? Oh, I see, couldn;'t you have waited?

And another thing, whats this Dover/Calais is alright with 2 drivers? I did Le Mans-Calais-Dover-Devon on one hit (had to drop bro-in-law off in Brighton). Course in a Lancia these sort of runs are no trouble....