Club Arnage

I cannot find my sodding passport anywhere. Looked in the normal places, checked my cars, offices at home and work, under the bed, in the kids toy boxes, everybloodywhere to no avail and now I have a sickly feeling in my stomach. Cannot think for the life of me where it is, I fear I have put it somewhere 'safe' which means it will turn up next year.
 There his also the possibility that the Dragonwife has eaten it.
 What can I do?
 

If you really have lost your passport, look at this web site

http://www.ips.gov.uk/passport/apply-replacing-urgent.asp

Not lost mine, but have spent many long hours looking for it at times.

Best was when I put it under the seat of my herald, for safety when out once. Did not need it for 4 months. Took me 2 days to find it.

Good luck.

Called the passpost office and enquired about the premium fast track thing and I'm not entitled to the service, it would be Friday before I could get an appointment anyway.
 Has anyone got there without a passpost before?

I always do, but then again I am on the continent already! Bummer dude, hope it will turn up soon. Ask the wife, they usually know where we keep everything, if she does not know, blame her ;D

This was discussed when Lord PP was waiting for his passport to come back from the depths of HMG's bureaucratic system wasn't it?

http://www.clubarnage.com/forum/index.php?topic=8483.30

 I'm sure it's been done.

Of course, if the UK had signed the Schengen agreement, you'd be fine:

http://europa.eu/abc/travel/doc/index_en.htm

Truth is, you'll probably get into France (who never bother to look at passports most of the time), but you might not be let back into the UK!

Mmm I like France- Not a bad place to get stuck in!
 I'm going home to have another look. After all the Alfa and wife grief this is the last thing I need.

I guess it will be someplace to do with when you last used it. What did you wear on returning form your last trip overseas? Also try your sockdraw. Suitcase? Daypack? Suit/coat pocket? It will either be somewhere wierd or somewhere obvious. Be thorough. Don't give up.

Go to france then claim you lost it there. The french will be sure to get rid of you as soon as possible

everytime I have travelled, the ticket people have asked me for my passport as soon as go to check in with the car. 

Thats Portsmouth, Dover & Calais. The only time, a few years back, a guy got thru the tunnel with his wifes passport (we were in a big group). And once flew to Italy with a big group (8 years ago) one guy brought his daughters passport, tried and could not get on.

Long way to go to try.

Good luck on looking around the house and do'nt forget work! - Bottom draw of desk etc...

Mr Z's right.

Recently I borrowed Mr T's camera bag when I went to Ricard.  I put one of my credit cards in it. When I got home, I forgot I'd done this, then suddenly twigged where I'd put it.

Me :"Can you look in the little zip pocket inside your camera bag? - I think I left a card in it."

Him : "Nope.  Not there."

Spend two hours tearing house apart, and searching luggage, linen basket, cupboards, car....

Me : "Can you look again? - I'm sure that's where I left it."

Him : "Don't you think I looked properly the first time?"  Sighs and toddles off for another look.  "Nope. Not there."

Spend another two hours searching house, including ripping up the floorboards, searching the contents of the dustbin, and stripping the car down trying to find it.

Me : "Can you give me your camera bag please?  It's not that I don't believe you, I just want to satisfy myself that it's really not there."

Him : "Humph.  Don't you trust me?"

Grudgingly gives me camera bag.  Whereupon, I open the front, unzip the little pocket and there is my credit card.  

Him : "Oh, I didn't even know there was a pocket there." ::)

So you were both happy then.

Mr T, because you pointed out to him that, in fact he was the owner of a more useful camera bag than he first thought.

And you, because as you were tearing round the house looking in cupboards etc I'm sure you took the oppertunity to dust and polish in places that may sometimes get overlooked

Oh, yes, I dust and polish all the time. (What is the point of that?  Stuff just gets dirty again.)

Post a picture of your best passport face and maybe the CA members can match their own passports against you picture and you can "borrow" one?

There are specialist passport replacement agencies who will take care of all of the hassle for you.

But at a price...

Landman

Panic over! It has mysteriously reappeared in the place where I keep it alongside my tickets (which I hadn't realised had also 'walked'. I will be having a little talk with the wife when she returns!
 Now on with the packing. i think I will put everything in the car and hide it, all I have to do is escape on Thurs morning and I'm free!

Phew.  I thought I was going to have to eat the rillettes myself...

Don't leave the car keys lying around either just in case that gets moved too  ;D

If the last time you used the passport was with the car, then check it again.
I thought I had lost my passport at LM a couple of years ago, searched car twice, on third search found it between roof lining and sun visor on the passenger side. :-[

This chap had a fair idea how to deal with the dragon who moved his passport and tickets!  ;D

Go home and beat her like a circus bear.  :D

(http://marichulambino.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/weyden64.jpg)

Car, tickets, all my gear, money, keys, passport and clothes are all hidden on a farm a mile from home. Bicycle is hidden in bushes over the lane. All I have to do is get out of the house. Nothing can stop my evil plans now! (Laughs like bond villain) :)

Did you ever see tht film where a woman ties a fella to a bed and then beats his feet and ankles...

>Martini...

See it? sounds like he is in it!

Found yer hat?

Sounds kinda kinky. I should be so lucky!
 Another stroke of bad luck- the car I'm in convoy with has turned up at workshop tonight with a burst heater matrix and an alternator that ain't putting out any power. Sodding trips turning into a nightmare before we even leave.

Commer?  ;D

Know the film.... big fat woman with a sledge hammer doing a nasty hobbeling on someone famous, ankles shattered and the like... eeeeeewwww... the crunchy sounds are horrid.
Heater matrix... bypass it..  not needed in such lovely summer weather ;D
Birthday Girl has retired... snoring like a warthog... My parents fed her fizzy and her new ipod wont upload... but being 22 has its advantages! >:D

That's nothing Rex.  In the book she chops one of his feet off with an axe.

Dx

Misery.  8)

A downright tragedy more like  ;D

Normal everyday marital bliss...

>Martini...

Maybe I should have written: The Novel 'Misery' written by Stephen King.  ::)

Come on, keep up at the back.  ;D

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v664/wellingtonist/MISERY_SHUT.jpg)