Club Arnage

It looks like a Billy Nomates run for me this year, and for the first time for years I'm thinking of a Friday crossing. The easiest option would seem to be the tunnel, - is it possible to turn up on spec very early in the morning and get on, or am I going to have to book well in advance?
Best Friday crossing options anyone?
H

It's possible but you pay a whacking great premium.  Best to book, imo.

Billy Nomates is welcome to join us if he wants, there is even a spare bed in the bus for him if he wants. I promise not to grab you in the dark and scare the sh-t out of you this year. ;D Try the tinter-net for the tunnel bookings.

Hiya H,

How are those fantastic legs of yours?   ;)

I would book in advance.  Currently you're looking at £44 for travel before 6am on the Friday.  If you're returning on the Monday you're lookng at anything up to £64 depending on your time of travel. 

Last year I booked late and it ended up costing me a damned sight more than £100.  Book it now!!!   ;D

Dx

Thanks all, sounds like I better get a-searching. Newhaven Dieppe might also be an option.
First Google results haven't been encouraging, and "Can I get early morning entry to the tunnel" returned a mixed bag of results, there's some strange people out there and no mistake...
Hi D, legs are doing ok thanks. Against all expectations I've kept my eye in, as it were, (for Gods sake, don't put "tunnel entry+eye in+whacking perinium" into Google, or the boys'll be round) and am planning (planning? PLANNING!! - cue maniacal laughter from the cellar) a round the clock Lands End to John-O-Groats sometime in May. I'm concerned it might finish me off though.
Mike, sounds good, I'll be in touch nearer the date mate.
Wahaay!
H

Alternatively H, I think two of our compadres are planning on a Newhaven/Dieppe crossing on either thursday or friday morning. You could do a covoy thing with them or there'd probably be room in The Stig's XJR too.

There's always a spare bed in the Commer too, I can soon have the Gimp make up the guest suete in the East Wing. (BTW did you see our three wing set up last year? Charles Rennie Mackintosh inspired, it was).

Or we have space in a car for a Wednesday evening crossing from Portsmouth - Le Havre and retruring Le Havre to Newhaven on Monday evening!

No Andy, I don't think I did see the 3-wing set up last year. But I can see it in my minds eye now: rusty manacles hanging from a cobwebbed granite wall, a monks tonsure just visible in the dusty gloom of one corner, briefly illuminated by a splutter of the flaming torch stuck in a wrought iron recess, a half open Iron Maiden with its dark secret, and the sticky trace of bodily fluids on the floor.
This sounds quite marvellous! Especially as I've also been offered a weekend somewhere with a spot of waterboarding thrown in, - I've never tried it before but I expect I'll get the hang of quickly. Already I'm looking forward to the summer.
Wednesday's too early for me JP, it's going to be a bit of a dash this year (hoping to get there in time to say 'Hi' to Paddy and the boys on Friday), thanks for the kind offer though mate.
H

That's it! So you did swing by!

Better the East Wing than the West Wing which is all too austere post-modern for my tastes, like a cross between Albert Speer and Fritz Lang's Metropolis. It creates a terrible futuristic urban dystopia, and it's not something I'm desperately keen on when I'm pissed blind at Le Mans. Bring a sleeping bag.

Funny Andy, but it just looked like Chris Z asleep on a camp bed to me.  Mind you I had been at the Dutch beer, the French Cidre Brut and a certain Mr J Daniels at the time so my perception may have been somewhat altered.   ;)

Dx

oh no... does that mean we'll be on the same ferry?! carnage!!  ;)

I'm on that ferry too. I wonder how long it will take before you start dancing to your mobile phone  ;)

Just like a Pompey Girl!
Pure Class.

I probably shouldn't tell you this. 
But last year I booked for a late night/early morning tunnel. 
But arrived early evening and was offered an earlier crossing at no cost.

To get my business back Brittany Ferries are going to have to offer me a Night crossing with a cabin for less than £200 return. 

t.

::) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Oh H,

Please just crack on and remember one's innate superiority as an Englishman.  Pitch up with a classic British car.  A Jaguar MkII will do nicely.  Shout loudly.  When they fail to respond, shout louder.  Something along this lines of "I am a British Citizen and Her Majesty requires that you let me through this piffling border which we do not recognise".  Shout louder still.  When they fail to understand, simply drive through and threaten them with your piles.  That should sort the diplomatic problem out.  The RAF will be ready and waiting to provide fire support if it is needed....

MG Mark

H,

If you're going to book Le Shuttle book it early - like now.  Prices ramp up nearer the date of travel.  I've booked mine today for the bargain price of £88! 

As Tom says Brittany Ferries are going to have to try much harder to get my business back.

Dx

You can use Tesco Club Card points on the Euro Tunnel, which means for £22 worth or vouchers your get £88 worth of ticket.

However, I somehow doubt that H shops in tesco's, strikes me as a waitrose person, but it may be worthwhile to know for someone else.

Hmmm, you may have something here Nordic. Although not widely reported, a man was recently arrested for masturbating onto a packet of Birds Eye Potato Waffles in the frozen section of Waitrose in Horsham. Now I know they're "waffley versatile" but the whole town was up in arms about it, and whilst he was out on police bail some of the locals ganged together with burning torches and he had to flee for his life. The police let him off with a caution and told him if he wanted to do that kind of thing, then he should go to ASDA in Crawley. FWIW, my advice is to stay away from chopped and shaped potato products as a general rule of thumb, especially breadcrumbed ones that look like dinosaurs, it's a road that leads nowhere.

I digress. As I see it, the tunnel is the channel's Asda, compared to Brittany which are more a seaborne Waitrose; you pays your money and takes your choice. It's just a bit disappointing when the expensive option comes complete with that kind thing going on in the aisles.

A word of advice: You'll all be relieved to note that Team Zarse, and by definition Chris Zarse specifically with his habitual onanism, no longer travel by Brittany Ferries, so if you want to avoid shameless public displays of self-abuse by a Ray Mysterio impersonator, you'd be well advised to avoid Transmanch to Le Havre on wednesday. Hope this helps.

It's all good advice, and I'd be a fool to ignore it.
So then, it's one request to board at conversation level, one at a bawl, and then I drop my trousers. I think it best if it's a French ferry, after all it's a language they understand.
Who can forget - "See-uit! SEE-UIT!!!, this is not a suit, it's the uniform of Her Majesties Air Force!"...
Nordic has me pegged, although the Gents toilet in our local Waitrose has a terrible reputation, both with the locals, and most of the emergency services, - and I suppose even Waitrose has to draw the line over what they'll recycle. Mind you, exactly why a starving tribe in the Sudan needs a twin set, a cashmere cardigan and a years worth of Beautiful Garden back issues, I can only guess.
Glad to hear Chris is well.
H