Club Arnage

OK, so apart from queueing forever at the site facilities, what does everyone do?? This year we had a porta-potti, but with 15 guys on a diet of beer, red wine and red meat, it was a chore to keep taking it to be emptied (fortunately not my task!!).

Suggestions for next year have included a large whole in the ground with seat above, a plastic dustbin  with seat built in and heavy duty sacks for easy waste removal, a plastic dustbin with seat WITHOUT sacks, just leave it for the pikies, several porta-potties or same as this year.

Any other ideas??

A medievil catapault would be a good idea. Use it and then pull the lever. Voila no evil smells around your pitch but you must make sure your not on it when you pull the lever.

I believe that anything other than a "sealed unit" system could have disasterous results to anyone suffering alcohol induced stability problems.  I must admit the Bleu toilets were ok this year.  Having invested  a euro towards the little man and his brush he kindly scrubed the bowl after a mates pebble dashing routine.  Had my own air fresher (Fragrance de Kronenbourg) and no queues.

Our team didn't have to many accidents this year as 10 am was "immodium and Kronenbourg hour"

To be honest the ones on Houx Annexe were very good. Although of the PortaKabn variety they were clean and more importantly proper sit down jobs. Far better than the concrete block on Expo last year with the two footprints!!

The only problem is when there are 20 people in front if you in the queue and...............well, you know!!

Having always used the ladies, I couldn't comment on the squat'n'hovers of Expo.  The trick is to ensure that you go at the quiet times like 545 am.  The problem we had was that stuck in the "Bleu Annex Field" as Bleu was full by thursday, was the lack of places to urinate during the day.  One thing to pee on your mates tent in the dark but a bit obvious in broad day light.

Last year in expo, one of our lot was a plumber.  He had worked out a way of jus clamping a wc to the top of a manhole with a hose pipe to flush.  He seemed to think that a privacy screen was for lightweights!

Our spot was v close to the bogs, which meant that you could wait (if possible!) until the queue died down before leaving the chair and risking an unclench.

A ten Euro bung to the Shitehouse family at the start of the week ensured a cheery smile as you went about your business...

If there's a queue, suggest pretending to be American - put the 'Special Relationship' to the test by shouting "Cover me - I'm going in!". The Brits will help out by opening the door, while the French & Germans wouldn't want to fight about it. ;D

Several of us attempted to nip into the ladies on Expo last year but every time we tried the cleaning guy seemed to appear and give us a hard time!!

Although one of our guys managed to walk in while there was no-one guarding the door, only to find a woman in there having a strip wash at the sink. "Do you mind!!" She shrieked. "Not at all!!" he answered as he strolled past her to the cubicle   ;D

I have to say that 'Toilet Woman' at the bottom of Houx is absolutly fantastic. She was straight in the bog after I had been with her brush and air freshner. (did'nt stop in there long though) and was the same with the showers. Kept the place imaculate and smelling like a perfumed flower shop. Great bogs, top worker.

Did you leave here a little something??   ;)

I did tip her as well as leaving her my 'autogragph'.

Sorry, to anybody that piched up behind our pitch anytime after Thursday evening !
You know the routine, everyone camped around the edges by the roads, at that point nobody pitched in the middle. Its an empty space and its dark ! And its a long walk over to the toilet block.

One of our group had an interesting take on matters on Sunday morning before talking his tent down. He took a cardboard box into the tent with him, zipped up the front, and came out a few minutes later with a nicely bagged up package, which he deposited into the rubbish bin. Saved queuing !

I so, so hope the pikies put their hands in it when pilfering through the "left behinds"  ;D

The toilets near us in Houx Annexe were unisex (nothing to do with bicycles!)
It was rather amusing watching the ladies faces as they left the traps and had to walk past a row of blokes at the urinals straining their greens  :)
I recall the toilet lady being very fastidious with her mop in previous years.  There you are, minding your own business, taking your morning movement, when a mop appears under the door and is whisked around your feet.  Glad I wasn't wearing flip flops.

Tertre Rouge was kept nicely clean by what appeared to be an entire family of Frenchies who had moved in complete with TV and caravan......
Not sure about Mrs Mop selling bread straight after cleaning the bogs though (Pine bleach flavour croissants m'suir?), or the fact that they shut up shop at 4pm on the dot on Sunday afternoon.

Well if its gonna be done right, as the Brits go in, we get covered in pooh by the Americans

quote from dryhen
If there's a queue, suggest pretending to be American - put the 'Special Relationship' to the test by shouting "Cover me - I'm going in!". The Brits will help out by opening the door, while the French & Germans wouldn't want to fight about it. ;D

Yeah, damn that Disney geezer!

Urgh. Friendly Fire strikes again!!