Club Arnage

Well how many sad barstewards near you have plastered their houses with enough lights to drain the national grid???? :o

Oh, no please, you'll set Mr Z off again. ;D

Hey termie do our french cousins have the same penchent for defacing their houses?

Omigod, don't get me going.  Most villages seem to spend an inordinate amount on Christmas lights but they're generally reasonably tasteful and at least are not switched on yet.  However, some of the houses in the countryside are hilarious - lights everywhere, but not so many of the santa and sleigh variety which is a relief.  My favorite is the "pere noel grimpant" - climbing father christmas.  A cottage near us has dozens of these little chaps climbing up the outside walls, into chimneys, windows etc.  Hilarious.

I've just come back from the christmas card run............ I think that B&Q must be doing a roaring trade in festive lighting !

ive just driven past Mr Zs and...

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

Wasn't it JPC who had a link to a house which blinged on some song? ;D

http://www.julekalender2006.leithoff.dk/


Do not open this one at work. Smokie

This calendar appeared on another link.  I said it then and I'll say it now, where's ours? :)

here you go 8)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrdO9GagGoM

 8)

Glad I don't live opposite that house."F---ing 'ell " you'd go daft  ;D

Why not smookster? I have no problem opening this one at work....

Just watch who stands behind you when you open one of the numbers. ;D (I'm glad I havel a wall behind me)

GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

 >:( >:( >:( :( :(

The utter utter bloody bastards, these vermin should be gassed, as should the "pushers and dealers" at Wilkinson's and B&Q etc.

There's a row of three consecutive houses in a street in Crawley each with a pair of those illuminated life-sized reindeer in the front garden. In one garden the reindeer are even having a drink from the bloody bird bath. It's like walking through Dudley Zoo. There are more reindeer in people's gardens than there probably are in the wild these days. Do these twa-ts have a meeting in November to co-ordinate their sub-human Xmas decorations? I'd like to vomit on them if it weren't for the fear of electrocution. Fuc-k them all.

umm not keen then Andy?? ;D

got out of bed on the wrong leg ;D

Oh AZ, I had no idea you'd react like that to this thread. 

Yeah right!!  8)

No. No I'm not. Maybe I was bitten by an elf when I was a child but I just hate the whole goddamn thing. Always have, always will.

Here's how I see it; ill-will to all men abounds; vomit and vandalism everywhere, epitomised by the cubes of broken bus-stop glass glistening in the snow (or drizzle more likely); arguments and fights; expense and boredom in the wrong proportion; wrapping paper at 10p a sheet, what a rip off; useless presents which are down the Hospice Shop by Christmas Monday; old people who smell of piss; a sickening waste of good food; false bonhommie and forced joviality; cards from people you wished would sod off for ever; over-exited children who are both seen and heard; the utter wanton expense of the whole thing; you can't get to the bar in the local pub on xmas eve cos it's clogged up with bastards you don't see in there the other 364 days of the year; oh and not forgetting our old friend- borderline blood/sugar levels and bile in the back of the throat.

And all that's just in our house, Christ alone knows what it's like in some places.  :( >:(

There's always an alternative (click!) (http://www.drinkingforholland.com/Paddy/christmaswrapping.pps) available! ;D

I'll have to get some of that paper for the Mother in law :o

Bah Humbug

For what it's worth, I am fully behind Mr Zarse on this one.

I am totally sick of the way Christmas has been commercialised, and starts being rammed down your throat beginning sometime in August  :-\ I now have a list of shops who started advertising way toooo early, and I refuse to use them at all.

I have managed to do a deal with my brother, whereby we will be exchanging absolutely nothing for Xmas  :D and have upset my Mother as I have decided to go on a 3 day fishing trip starting Xmas eve  ;D

Just me and a few Carp I hope, plus some frost and the rest of the wildlife whom I will spare some nuts and food for. Ahhh Xmas as it should be.

Happy Christmas everyone.

With you on this one Andy.

It's spreading too, like a virus around the place. There was an 8th floor flat in Aberdeen last year with a 10 ft illuminated inflatable snowman, and a couple of 8 ft illuminated inflatable jolly men in red suspended out of the window.

Who mentioned somthing about a rifle?

I have completly solved the Christmas problem by moving over here because now my mother can't come.  Mr Termite and I just buy ourselves something we want and don't start using/playing with it until Christmas day.
Meal comes ready made from the restaurant down the road, no f*rting about cooking all day.  Perfect.

You're right there. I am sick to death of hearing that God awful f**k*ng Slade song. Everywhere I go it's molesting my ears, Asda adverts, every radio station playing it ten times a day, Virgin Radio are even using it as a jingle for Christs sake.
A pox on you Noddy Holder for writing it. If ever there was a reason to ban Christmas it would be because of that bastard song.

For pitys sake stop playing it you morons

AAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.

Good News at last  ;D ;)

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(http://journeyintomystery.free.fr/images/santanoz2.jpg)

This thread is turning into an episode of grumpy old men  :D

Look I know this is going to upset a lot of you, but I really enjoy Christmas. I enjoy seeing my family and my wife’s family. I enjoy the food and drink. I enjoy Coronation Street and all the films that are on that might be about war or mass murder, but get wheeled out as they feature a Christmas tree in the second scene. Mince pies, carol singers, Charles Dickens, ice skating, two weeks off work not having to worry about what is going on in my absence, because the whole place is shut down,  the open fire, Slade, Wizard the Pogues, my son back from university, walking the dog, hangovers, hare of the dog, drinking fizzy wine at 9am. Full English breakfasts, not having to shave, sleeping til I wake up. Locking out the world and tedious tales of global warming and political correctness mass murder and f+cking suicide bombers. New socks and jumpers, lots of football and of course the thought that we are half way back to Le Mans. Come guys it’s all so simple to hate it, make a bit of an effort and you might just enjoy yourselves a bit, oh and you might just be a little bit more fun to be with. Have a good one. Monkey ;D

PS sorry to see that the interweb police have closed down the advent calendar, I was enjoying that!! ;)

 :o :( >:(

Shame..

Still, the 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005 ones still work  ;D :D

I shall leave it to you to work out how to view them  ;)

I'm with Monkey on this one. 2 weeks off work ;D

I think there are people out there who are trying to stop christmas   ;D

Alternative Christmas songs.


Satan Claws Is Coming To Slay You*

You'd better watch out, you'd better shut your mouth, you'd better hide out, you'd better crawl under your couch.

Satan Claws is coming to slay you.

Oh, he's makin' a list, of everything you do, he's thinkin of the ways he's gonna get you,

Satan Claws is coming to slay you.

He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he's big, he's bad, he's hard to kill, so get a wooden stake.

Oh, he's makin' you wish, you'd never been born, he's got an evil laugh and he deserves your scorn,

Satan Claws is coming to slay you.



*Rudolph Flips Out*


Rudolph the Red Nose raindeer,

had a very shiny nose.

And if you ever saw him,

you would even say it glows.

All of the other raindeer,

used to LAUGH and call him NAMES.

They wouldn't LET poor Rudolph,

join in any raindeer GAMES.

Then one frosty Christmas eve,

Rudolph lost it.

He could'nt take anymore of the torment and humiliation.

The intolerance and critisism of his unique feature.

A life of pain and anguish, a life of hell, needed to end. And Rudolph had to end it.

Yes, he did polish his horns that night.

The spell of RAGE and INSANITY overtook him for several hours.


He went in to Santa's house....and yes, he did lash him with his own whip.

The whip that had been used on poor Rudolph so many times before.

This man who had allowed all the abuse by the other raindeer to go on for all these years.

He needed to pay.

And Rudolph took him out.

Along with several Elves, who tried to thwart him.

Then Rudolph grabbed Santa's semi-automatic, "special toy".

He went into the barn where the other deer were.....

And there would BE no more mockery....there would BE no more rejection.

Rudolph blew them away.

And yes, he decapitated Prancer, because PRANCER had always been EXTRA snotty, encouraging the others to begin their cruelty and ruthless insults.... such as "Rudolph....the Red Nosed Freak".

So I ask you.....ladies and gentalmen of the jury....is this sweet, glowing little wide eyed face that of a cold blooded killer?

Or of an innocent creature....abused from the day he was ripped from his mothers hooves...and forced into slavery. To be verbally bashed, neglected, and isolated....everyday of his life....and who JUST COULD'NT TAKE IT ANYMORE.

Ladies and gentalmen of the jury.....I rest my case



*Frosty The Dough Man*

Frosty the Dough Man, he was made of cash and change.

He was our boy Frost, oh but what he cost, and he was quite deranged.

Frosty the Dough Man, made of all our junk and greed.

As the houses glowed neon bright, each and every night some guy aimed towards him and peed.

Frosty the Dough Man, has been know to eat children whole.

Then he spits them out and happily hears them shout "Frosty took my soul".

Bob, can I suggest you try to get more than a little rest over Christmas I have a feeling that you, more than most might benefit from it............;D

I won't be getting much rest over Christmasas I will be away skiing (snow conditions permiting)

I actually do like Christmas although not as much now the kids have grown up and I can't be Santa Clause.

 I don't mind that it has become too commercial and money grabbing as I have a choice whether I decide to pay through the nose or not. I don't care that the true meaning of Christmas has all but disappeared and that it is being hijacked by the PC brigade. I don't have to donate to the Salvation Army as they rattle a tin in front of me, again I have a choice. If carol singers come to my door I don't mind giving them a couple of quid.

I most certainly do not begrudge anyone else enjoying Christmas in anyway they choose, in fact seeing the neighbours 3 young ones getting more and more excited as it draws nearer is a reminder of the great times we had when my son was that age .

As I said in my earlier post it is that awful Slade song that pisses me off every year and makes me start to dislike the Christmas period. Dragged out every year along with Cliff Bloody Richard, Greg Lake and the Elton John effort it's no wonder I get grumpy. Noddy Holder may see this song as his pension fund but the sooner he draws it and pisses off the happier I will be.

I Know what you mean Bob it does lose it a bit when the kids grow up. As for Noddy Holder I agree totally. personally though don't think I will ever hate listening to the pogues and Kirsty mc Coll

personally though don't think I will ever hate listening to the pogues and Kirsty mc Coll


Yes stops me in my tracks everytime that one.........

Positively.  The only Christmas song I can honestly say I like.

Must be a Leeds thing Debs

Suppose I better put myself on the Grumpy Old Men list. Apart from works xmas night out, I can't be bothered with xmas. After I've spent 2-3 weeks putting up Xmas decs around the country (pays my week away in June), I'm throughly pissed off at the sight of them. I could'nt even post a letter yesterday because the post box was full. I'm always suggesting that a Xmas Garotte-o would be a good idea. Bring you kids down for a good throttling. Bah Humbug indeed Mr Zarse.

All Xmas songs are utterly hateful, as indeed are Stu's (you big hypocrit!!) council Xmas lights. What a complete waste of money, especially as they usually ask some nonentity from Boyzone or wherever to turn the lights on and make all the schoolgirls squeal in a most undignified and annoying fashion. Just what is the point of all that?

It gives me a break from the work load, and I get to see my son for a few days in a row. So I don't mind, really ;)

I'm all for Christmas, but then i have two small children to entertain! It does not have to be to expensive either, made my son a castle the other year and he loved it.

A bit of festive cheer

http://www2.b3ta.com/merrychristmas/

Pardon me if its been done

When Rudolph went bad  :-\

This photo epitomises the woeful attempt at christmas lights made by councils in this country. The sign on the wooden railing apparently says - DANGER OF DEATH - KEEP OUT!

The Tree of Death, how festive!

What is up with you people it looks as if you are making an attempt to put me on the dole. >:(

CHILL OUT AND ENJOY THE SEASON OF GOODWILL.
HO HO HO

If you hadn't noticed this is a motor racing forum and what has xmas got to do with that? Anyway, it's just about time a geriatric old tw**t like you retired. Now sod off you red nosed alcoholic old pisstank.  >:( >:( >:(

Oi young un any more of this from you laddie and you might have a few gremlins delivered to that old commer of yours. >:(

Or I might have to follow FS to other pastures new..

HAPPY CHRISTMAS YOU OLD FART ZARSE. ;)

Ho Ho Ho

Hmm, for mentioning the Commer you are forgiven Santa. Can i have a new front sill and back axle for crimbo please?  :angel:

YOUR WISH WILL BE GRANTED MY BOY AS LONG AS YOU STOP ALL THIS HUMBUG STUFF, NOW BE A GOOD BOY  :angel:AND PUT YOUR REQUESTS IN A LETTER TO ME AT THE NORTH POLE.
HO HO HO.
Bet this is really pis*ing you of Mr Zarse. ;D

We can only hope, FC.  Winding up Mr Z should be an official national sport - so much more entertaining than footie and all that stuff. ;D

Whats wrong this type of christmas tree?

(http://www.jonco48.com/blog/christmaskegs.jpg)

The massive amount of  :police: BUD LIGHT :police:  :police: Heineken Light  :police: they have used!!!

And what the hell is a bottle of water doing in the shot too!!!

Always good to have some hand wash about  ;)

Well the barrels are metal for a start nopanic.  And if those cans had been bottles of Bishop's Finger now....

For all the bah humbugs out there

www.sproutinvaders.co.uk (http://www.sproutinvaders.co.uk)

and click play game

best I could manage was 480 ..........finger hurts ;D

that was freekin funny ;D

The outside lights are tacky, they don't even look good, and they are a waste of energy.

The Christmas songs are cheesy.

And the advertising is pushy and intrusive.

540 here

580 ;)

Good grief, are the parts still available?

I can understand the sill rusting, but what have you done to the back axle - are you running Noz?