Club Arnage

Bob... Hope you're well my friend....

Saw your comment at the bottom of your post regarding written use and abuse of English... My sentiments exactly... But...

Grumpy Old Men... Now where do I start ?

Well, here we go... Just why do they say 'Would you like any help with packing that ?'

No... I damn well don't... (I know and those at Donington will know I am capable of loosing both the power of coherent speech and unaided movement perfectly well on my own...) but when I'm in the supermarket in a shirt and tie, brandishing my wallet having purchased... well... I won't run through the contents of my SSM basket last night as it was probably of no great interest... but do I genuinely look as though I am incapable of packing a dozen items into a couple of bags ?

If I look so helpless and need of assistance are you going to call a spotty youth to then take my wallet, remove the card, allow me to give the pin code, punch it in, take the reciept, take me and and my two plastic bags to the booth where I can get a Lottery ticket, then pick my numbers for me (or advise a Lucky Dip... who knows...?) walk or carry me to my car, take my keys from my pocket, unlock it, place the bags on the back seat, sit me in it, start it, drive the 1 mile to my house... shall I stop ?

My point... Can't these people be encouraged to use some judgement and common sense in to whom and when they offer their 'help' ?

My father and step mother (both senior in years and who would benefit from some sensibly considered and delivered help and assistance throughout their 'customer visit'... from entering to leaving, not just packing their bl00dy bags...) would appreciate it...

Don't they recognize someone who wants to get in, get out and get home and not have to listen to some deeply unheartfelt 'must say to the customer phrase' from some sullen looking individual... particularly at the end of a cr4p day...

Have a nice day... ?   Grrrrr

Feeling better now DW?  ;D

All the better for hearing from you, Fran... :)

However, I feel that there must be lots of us that have all sorts of things that we get hot under the collar about...

Whilst I'm about it... Cans of corned beef.... why, just why, do they insist on using those bl00dy key things... invariably, they fall off in the bag on the way home... you throw the bag in the bin... and voila... its more difficult to get into than a ... (I'restrain myself) a very difficult thing... just how the devil is a man supposed to open the damn thing... Consequently this morning, one of the items from last nites basket has had to be consigned to landfill... And I have no nothing for todays sandwiches... so I'm hungry...

But I refuse to use that food delivery service that comes here... £2.75 for a 'New York Deli' sandwich... outrageous.... how can they justify that... 

Any more anyone?

Grrr

Dont you have a pair of pliers in your toolbox?  ::)

Stop your friggin whingeing man, so you don't want these people to be employed, everyone has a right to employment... not very kind, you are prob pleased to see them when you have half a trolley full or are you sad enough that you have to shop daily?????

Over here (Guernsey) most feckers earn too much so no fecker wants to fill your bag... the shops are understaffed... how good is that??

Save a bloody can key from your previous tin... and should you be eating this anyway? the way it affects you without eating it I hate to see you when you have!!!!!

Finally there is only one thing to say or perhaps ask... how do you think I am getting on with the lessons from the Fax Charm School?  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

>Martini...

Well I'd use the service,  only the one time I let them do it that made a right pigs ear of it.

Cleaning materials in with food.  Cooked meat with uncooked meat.  No I think I'll pack my own thank you.

I did have a sense of humour failure in the super market one time.   It doesn't seem to happen these days. but you used find that at least one thing in the trolley didn't scan or they didn't have it  in the system.  I always made a point of saying anything you don't know the price of I don't want.    Sometimes they would insist on sending someone to find the price. 
I woudld say "I don't want it". 
"No it will only take a moment" they would reply.
"I am offering to pay for these good how much does it come too?"
"just a moment sir".
"I am offering to pay for these goods do you want the money?"
"just a moment sir."
"I have to go now.  Do you want paying for these items?"

I then take hold of the trolley and start to walk off.

At that point they tend to get the message and tell me how much.

I have since found out that they will take your word for on the price.   So anything  they can't scan and ask me me the price.  It's 10p   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

The other thing that P's me off or those people that are still shopping while the other person is at the check out and they expect you to wait untill they return with the rest of the shopping.

t.

The one thing that hacks me off, is  when the check out girl/lad, puts his arm up in the air to get approval on the bottle of wine I'm trying to buy.

After a couple of visits, I realised they were seeking approval (because they were selling) and they were under 18, not me!!

By the way, I don't consider myself a "Grumpy Old Man".............yet.

Some good points Martini... I'll get myself checked out to see if I'm suffering from some strain of CJD  ;D

As regards the Fax Charm School your End of Term Report may read... 'Martini has had an excellent term, succesfully grasping and practically demonstrating even the more challenging aspects of the course... 10/10. Well done'  ;D

I'm not old and not usually very grumpy but I though I'd join in anyway.

You know you get plastic containers/packets in supermarkets (packs of ham and microwave meal type containers) that are covered in a thin plastic film.

To remove this film they very kindly provide a little exposed corner for you to lift up and peel the film back in one go. Does it work?

DOES IT f**k!!!!!

9 times out of 10 the bloody thing just comes off leaving no way of removing the rest without knife intervention and even when it doesn't, the film splits into about ten pieces meaning that you only succeed in tearing off a 2mm wide strip and you still have to get a knife to remove the rest.

The only thing worse are those little marmite containers because not only do the lids not come off but you get marmite all over your hands as well.

Serves you right for eating the poxy stuff.

I'll bring some to Rotterdam for you  ;D

WHY is it that on roads now-a-days when other motorists are joining the dual-carriageway or motorway they just barge on!  I always thought they had adjust their speed and join without causing a commotion.  There has been a couple of episodes recently, one, a particularly nasty piece of work barged on and then she let rip at me and wanted to know why i hadn't given her more space.

No No please don't

Because most of them are already banned or they got there licence out of a Corn Flake box.

t.

Bob, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that fine chap puking into the Houx Annexe water closet? ;)

Bob, had the poor fellow eaten one of your famous salads?

PS I thought in your professional capacity you were partially responsible for some of the ingredients that go into microwave meals?

DW, I think you should be made aware of the health risks inherent in corned beef. It's jam packed full of saturated fat and mono-unsaturated fat, one tin is enough to full the recommended weekly amount about ten times over. The missing key is thus a blessing in disguise.

Good rant, but you seem to be a Glass-half-empty kinda guy, whereas I'm a Glass-half-full person, unfortunately in my case the glass is usually half full of someone's piss.

Andy, as you well know, the name sh**t Salad Bob that I have to live with every June is a direct result of Mercades not being able to keep their cars on the track and Peter Dumbrecks inability to keep out of the woods and bares no refrence to my culinary prowess.

In my professional capacity I only ever use natural or in some cases nature identical ingrediants and chemicals. Some customers now are even insisting on organic ingrediants, which I think is a load of bollocks, but who am I to critisise my paymaster.

The ingrediant from my company is only ever listed on the packet as flavour or flavouring. In some cases this constitutes only 0.05 % of the total volume so is therefore very unlikely to have contributed to poor fellows predicament.

More likely it was a result of the bullsh**t fumes emminating from Maison Blanche

That's what you get when you hang around with The Gimp.