Club Arnage

Hi!
idle banter, chit chat and general time wasting for a cheap price!
http://www.clubarnage.com/forum/index.php?board=1.0
Bye!

 ;D

pure class i just got sent this, the hoff at his best, please do enjoy...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3382491587979249836&q=jump+in+m

I bet most Americans were really pleased with the gratuitous use of their flag it that one or maybe not. Sorry couldn't watch it throught to the end  ::)

 :-* :-* :-*

that was just plain disturbing - can I suggest that you quickly become aquainted with a lovely wife or similar so that she can limit your internet usage.

Don't get me wrong, men in general are fab - Liverpool Boys, Mike C, NSX Man, JPC,Smokie, Canada Phil, Powermite....the Zarses .....seemingly the CA list is endless and full of bespoke top quality chaps (bar 1 who is so not fab!) - but seriously - think before you post, the pied noir thread was hard enough to handle...but this....?

 :-* :-*
Lisa
 :-*

is that 'bar 1' me? surely i do not offend thee that much? Just a mention of teh peid noir and then th ehoff is not enough to upset all lady kind? i thought all ladies would love the hoff?

Oh my God! of course it isn't you! Your posts make me giggle which is great !

Not all ladies like the Hoff btw - I can admit to the following - Magnum at a push (it was the car really) - Duncan Ferguson (yes - I would make an excellent footballers wife) Robbie W (even men fancy him), Alan Hansen (don't knock it, I have the older man syndrome sometimes) and Johnny Herbert.

I need a lie down now.

Byee

Lisa
 :-* :-*

Oh God, it must be me then.


Sorry

Whatever it was

I can't even remember what it was I did...

 :-[

 :-* :-* :-*

seriously - it's not you either - the rouge trader - blip on the male landscape (posing as a very once loved husband) has gone.

I'm OK - he was OK as well a couple of years ago - but then again I am a very dutiful wife -  my Mr RS2 Babe started shagging the Condor Ferry trolly dolly on his way from Jersey to St Malo so it's all gone pear shaped.
 :'( :'( :'(

lets just think of the future -the Mexico and NSX - a fabulous coming together!

 :-* :-*

Lisa

 :-*

Lisa don't worry I'll always love you!!!!!

Even though you did steal my t-shirt!!!!

"steal" I think I "borrowed it" if the truth be known - your 2004 CA t-shirt is still looking good. Especially on me!

My DfH t-shirt causes a bit of a stir in Jersey just now.

Chris - you and your lovely wife are always welcome at La Fontaine, Trans La Foret, Ille et Villaine, 35610, Bretagne, France.

Lisa
 :-* :-*

Wife???? Don't think so!!!!

I think our paths may be more similar than just a borrowed t-shirt but hey!!!

Anyhow I would love to come and visit you and if you have room for and artic and trailer to park up at yours then it could be a lot sooner than you think!!

anyhow one way or another I will be there next year not missing it again!!! I missed the fire breathing and the dring a bottle of finest islay malt with stu and jp and loose the next day not going to happen again

I happen to think that this is not you 'Chris' as I just don't reckon you would be so forward as to think that you could park your 'ar'tic' on my 'courtyard' !


I could be wrong - BUT THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN OFTEN !

 :-* :-*

Lisa
 :-*

 

you gotta do this babe, the mexico is a fantastic car and not silly expensive, when i had my original humber my mate had a mark 1 1300E escort in purple, what a peach that was. And an NSX!! Cool, test drove one in Worthing, very very nice car, i walked away with a semi on..................................

I have very fond memories of Mr Termite's Escort GT.  Think I lost something in it... ;)

 :-* :-* :-*

How romantic

I lost mine in a VW Beetle and Elliott was the result - how perfect is that!


Only a semi hey Mr VQ - interesting fact!

 :-* :-*

Lisa
 :-*

Ahem, obviously during the drive it was full, just left with a semi on as i had to weedle my out of the sales patter at the end............. ;)

This is toooo much imfomation Dave :o

 :-* :-* :-*

Oh I dont think thats tooooo much info - nice to hear some honesty for once!

Us petrol head girls can cope with that - isn't that right Mrs T! :-*

love

Lisa
 :-* :-*

Absolutely Lisa.  It's not as if we don't know what they do in their spare time....

Well we can all do it together now.................

Channel 4 to televise UK's first 'Masturbate-a-thon'

US degeneracy crosses the Pond
By Lester HainesPublished Tuesday 18th July 2006 11:56

Not content with dragging the good old US of A straight down to Hell with its public displays of mass masturbatory degeneracy, the San Fran-based Centre for Sex and Culture - organiser of the legendary "Masturbate-a-thon" - will in August travel to London for a similar event in which Brits will be invited to tug the trouser snake and pet the beaver for the benefit of safe sex charities and Channel 4 viewers.

While the news that indie production company Zig Zag will be present in Clerkenwell on August 5 to capture the solo cumfest will come as great relief to C4 schedulers desperate - given the abject failure of Big Brother contestants to engage in live sexual activity for the gratification of the UK's viewing public - for footage of TV wannabes cracking one off for charity, we're pretty certain that Middle England is as we speak preparing to decry the utter collapse of British society to the highest authority: The Daily Mail.

Indeed, the Guardian - which incidentally fails, like the exponent of free love and sexual immorality that it is, to roundly condemn the Masturbate-a-thon - notes that the Mail once declared former Channel 4 top dog Michael Grade "pornographer in chief".

And not without reason. Those of you who can remember the early, heady days of Channel 4 will recall that the first signs of its eventual descent into the squalid mire were already evident. In 1983, some bright spark decided to commission Minipops - the highly-questionable showcase for kids dressed as adults flaunting themselves for the Gary Glitter demographic.

In 1985, the channel broadcast Derek Jarman's homoerotic martyrdom spectacular Sebastiane, whose male full-frontal nudity and comedy Latin dialogue provoked outrage in equal measure.

The rest, as we know, is history: Big Brother (social inadequates failing dismally to indulge in live sexual activity); "Penis week" (getting to grips with the penis, featuring lots and lots of peni); The Tube (remembered for its Jools Holland prime-time "groovy f**k*rs" scandal); and Jamie's Kitchen (unexpurgated Mockney geezer murdering the word "pukka").

The prosecution rests. The televised Masturbate-a-thon, meanwhile, will form part of a C4 "w**k week". Zig Zag declared in a press release: "This year it's time to bring the event across the pond to see if the great British public can embrace mass public masturbation. It's time to find out if the only things allowed to be stiff in Britain are upper lips."

No, there's another thing that can be stiff in Britain: a fine from the Broadcasting Standards Authority. And if those of you in the Home Counties who are right now writing to David Cameron demanding the return of the birch, the cat o'nine tails and the Tyburn Tree for transgressions of the UK's television guidelines consider this inadequate punishment, what about tying the C4 commissioning editor and Zig Zag producer to a couple of crosses and pumping them full of arrows while naked Roman soldiers pleasure themselves to raise cash for AIDS charities? Now that's what we call TV entertainment. ®

Or Maybe Not..................

Well we can all do it together now.................

Channel 4 to televise UK's first 'Masturbate-a-thon'




So I take it that in this instance the person that comes first, loses?  ;D

I'm delighted to say that a certain member of Team Zarse, who has a God-given talent at this, erm, sport, is currently preparing his assault on the title. He's been working out very hard, Paula Radcliffe would be envious of the hours he's putting in. Oh, the lonliness of the long distance tugger. He's got permanent beads of sweat trickling down his palid complexion, his grip is vicelike and he's eating raw steak. In short, he's ready to give it his best shot.

Knowing that he has a penchant for offensive T-shirts I think this one would be most apt

http://www.foulmouthshirts.com/offensive-t-shirts/I%27m%20on%20my%20way%20home%20to%20Masturbate%20T-shirt%20Offensive%20T-shirts.htm

What a find Bob! If you haven't already, I suggest you sign up for their 'recommend a friend' scheme so you get some kind of comission - I can see the Zarse in question spending thousands on these beauties!!

This masturbate-a-thon thing raises any number of questions and I'm pleased to say most of the answers are here:

http://www.masturbate-a-thon.com/pages/faq.htm

and the Rules of the Game are here:

http://www.masturbate-a-thon.com/pages/rules.htm

I like the idea of Tag Whacking!

I have to say, with a world record set at only 7 hours 30 mins, the official Zarse entrant should be able to "beat" this time with one hand tied behind his back. Literally. So I'm very confident he'll walk away with the Golden Sock award. Maybe I can pursuade him to hold a seminar at Le mans next year?

Shouldn't that be 'semenar'  :D :D :D

Del

Any other rules?
No drugs or alcohol. No smoking.

Even afterwards???  :-\

How do I win a prize?
Prizes will be awarded for:

Longest time spent masturbating: we'll allow 5 minutes off per hour for snacks and bathroom breaks; remember, the current record is 7 1/2 hours, so if you want to try for this award, come at 4 pm and pace yourself!

I'm curious what happened at 7.5 hours. Did the caretaker arrive, did it get too sore or did it reach the natural outcome (phnarr phnarr)


I think I might wish I hadn't asked...  ::)

Hi Smokes

Who were you thinking of at the time???

>Martini...

This is definately one of the most hysterical threads on this forum! Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "active users!"  Does anybody know if the record holder is male or female? ::)

From the Viz Profanisaurus

w a n k e r s tan :- the pallid ghostly complexion sported by teenagers who spend all their time in their bedroms with the curtains closed.

Edited to beat the pottymouth filter

I think this tournament needs a theme song or an anthem. I propose a new version of Baddiel and Skinner's Three Lions:

It's coming home,
It's coming home,
It's coming,
W*nking's coming home,

(then something about Moore's tackle and Nobby dribbling)

Chorus

Three lions on a sock...

7 1/2 hours?

How long was his wife at the shops? ;D

More profanisaurus

Grot Slot:- the married mans 30 minute internet pornography download window while his wife is at the shops.

apparently. There are better things to do with computers, CA for example.

A Mars a day helps you work rest and w*nk

OR

Have a break. Have a Kit Kat

Lisa, I know it's probably a painful memory, but do you think you could give us some juicy details? - it wouldn't half brighten the day up to hear some tale of sex, retribution and ruinous legal proceedings. Consider it as some sort of purging, an act of closure if you like. It might also give us a target to zero in on next time any likely lads are on a Condor Ferry, especially if Dave brings along his semi.
H
Photos would be even better...

I always leave the house tooled up.

 :-* :-* :-*

Not painful H - a bit worse.

Anyway - I forgot about this thread and having just got myself, my son and 14 teenage mates of his back from the Leeds Festival I think things are not that bad.

I had more than a semi at the Festival just at the point when I was only about 7 feet away from Alex Kapranos (he of Franz Ferdinand for all you oldies)

Good things come to those who wait  ;) ;) Or those who re-capture their youth.

I must say though that crowd surfing at a festival is not for the weak hearted.  :-[ :-[

Lisa
 ;)

So was the record broken?

i think it was just a scratch..............................

If you did come at 4pm wouldn't this blow any chances of winning in the first place..?

all depends on the volume i guess

Still up for next year then Chris.?

The offer of the lift is still there Chris. ;D


BUT NO W---ING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!