Club Arnage

This should be good for some shits & giggles but is any of our North Amercian contingent heading to IMS this weekend for the demise of F1 in the US?  Little bro & I have a couple of freebies so we're going over Sunday (against my better judgement) ordinarily you couldn't drag me kicking and screaming to this, but since it's probably going to be the last USGP in my lifetime, and its not going to cost me a penny except for the beer & grub I bring with me (I refuse to give Tony the Dumbass one dime), what the hell!  Anyone want to hook up and spend a few minutes ridiculing Bernie and his dog & pony show?
Fax

I thought about it - apparently I could have bought the entire rights to Stand H for $15 but that was a little high.  I'm off boating/boozing instead.  Give "Fernando big jaw" a wave from me.

Hey Dave,
I'll slap a "I'd rather be boating" sticker on the back of the car for you, and I'll send your regards to the Unibrow ;D
Fax

Fax, the dwarf shares you view!  Not sure if that is a back handed compliment to the US of A?

"Bernie Ecclestone has declared that the United States Grand Prix is not important to Formula 1, and that he will not go out of his way to secure the race's future.

"It does not matter to Formula 1 if there is no grand prix in the US," Ecclestone told The Times newspaper.

Hi FS,
I suppose he has plenty of third world nation's lined up to host races where the attendee's spend a year's salary for a ticket.  We've got a helluva lot better racing for a helluva lot less money.
Glad to hear your doing really well Peter, now get back in the water and get us some more cool ocean pics! ;)
Fax

Fax, I've been waiting for this thread to appear all year. I'm praying for a failure on last year's proportions, just so I can read your caustic post-race summary.

And I can recall when there used to be two USGPs a year...

They (being F1) have no one to blame but themselves.  Bernie dropped the ball the first time when he decided to try and rape Chris Pook and the LBGP.  After bouncing around one money losing street circuit after another, they finally landed on a good thing at Indy and they manged to screw that up beyond imagination.  They pleaded and pleaded to get back into the US market, finally found a venue, came over the first year to a packed house, and acted like complete pompous asses.  No one within the F1 community would do any personal appearances to help promote the race, the media couldn't get any access to the F1 paddock and participants.  Even after that first year you could see the handwriting on the wall.  The attendance has declined dramatically over the six years, and as we've mentioned you can get tickets to this years race for a six pack of beer and a sack of White Castle cheesburgers.  Bernie says F1 doesn't need the US?  Well little dwaf, have a nice life and don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out!
Fax

Fax, I'm not one for sycophancy (you yanky racist redneck, - see, there you go...) but this post is a small jewel. It should be reprinted and posted on huge billboards outside of the Indy circuit. Marvellous!
H

Here here BigH.  Had the dubious pleasure of watching this shower at Spa last year (dragged there by a misguided mate who is into this stuff).  Love the circuit but was ripped off right left and centre.  Scarey ticket prices, overpriced merchandise, drivers who think that 90 minutes behind the wheel is such hard work they have to be protected from their audience by an army of minders.  Keep it up Fax.
All the best, Euro Candy-Ass :)

Fax, I have to admit that when you go off on one of your rants (and a lot of other times) I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about, but I cant wait to meet you in the flesh to see if you actually talk like this in real life!  ;D

Hi TT,
I still apologize for the Euro Candy-Ass thing :)
Guess I should elaborate on where that came from.
That actually was first used by the late, great (and very redneck) Dale Earnhardt.  When he had heard about one the the foreign drivers saying they were uncomfortable racing on big US ovals he, less than eloquently replied, "Make sure he ties some kerosene soaked rags around his ankles so the ants don't climb up and eat that candy ass of his"
As soon as I typed that out and hit the Post button, I thought "Oh dear, this is going to go horribly wrong"
 :o
All the best, Redneck Fax

No, no I just LOVE Euro candy-ass - was thinking of changing my name actually - was absolutely taken as it was meant, don't worry.  If you met me (which hopefully will be here at LM one day) you'd see it takes a GREAT deal more than that to offend me.
ECA

Hi Fran,
I'm actually pretty shy (until I get about ten beers in me) Fax is more or less my evil alter ego.  There's John and his Mr Hyde (Fax)
Cheers,
John

LIKE THIS?

Very nice Spider!  Can never go wrong with some nice underwater pics :D
Fax

Fax.

Take a good book.

V.lucky getting this shot, never been seen at this location!  also lucky i had a wide angle lens as normally i would be using a macro lens.

Its a Mola Mola, this one weighed about 2000 Lbs and was about 3.5 meters from fin tip to fin tip.

Pro Sports Car Racing in America does it for me.

Hi FS, he's what we call a "Big 'un" great shot!
TT, Its where I get my jollies, was at the Rolex Grand-Am series race last Saturday evening at Mid-Ohio and had a great time.  I've picked on the Grand-Am series before as NASCAR's idea of sportscar racing, but hey! There was a big grid, big crowd, great venue, the racing was close and the beer was cold...Doesn't get any better than that!  Strolled over to the paddock before the race and had a quick chin wag with Andy Wallace, all the participants were out and about, hanging out with the spectators, actually looking like they were having FUN for Gods sake!
Andy, two races in the US? Hell, in 1982 there were THREE! Long Beach, Detroit and Vegas.
Fax

I'll be there Saturday, and will be watching on TV from across the street on Sunday unless I decide to take someone up on their offer of free tickets.  I think I've had 4.

It's become more of a get-together with friends than a race, anyway.

And Fax, I don't want to hear you speak positively about GrandSham ever again.  ;)

What the....? Mr Fax'n'Figures at a Grand Am race? Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs!
I watched it on Sunday and thought you might be there - and I have to say - not caring one way or t'other about the politics of The France family, NASCAR, IRL etc.etc, I quite enjoyed the race - the re-surfacing of the circuit has made a biiiiig difference by the look of things. Thought the Lowes Pontiac deserved the win - though my money was on the Suntrust car.
What the hell happened to the Alex Job Porsche? With Rockenfeller and Long it should be right up there every race, so who knows? I noted old Milky Don't Know threw it into the gravel in another unforced error - she should stick to ironing shirts, I'll venture .
I may even scoot over to Daytona for the Brumos 250 on Thursday night - I don't think it's going to be a sell-out, do you?

Your right Matt,
If you can ignore the politics of it, its not a bad series.
Like I said, they drew a big crowd and big grid.  The weather was terrific too.  I saw Milka beach it up in the Keyhole, also saw the shunt at the end of the race, holy crap that was a mo-fo of a tumble.  Good thing Bimmers are tough.  The Brumos should be good fun, and I love night racing. I wish they started the Mid-Ohio race later so they finished in the dark, there was still plenty of sun still in the sky when it ended.
Fax

I should say its not a bad series (Grand-AM)
EXCEPT! Your right too Chop, its run by the France family...AHHHH!
Milka Duno is Egg Fu Yoong..with tits!
Fax

 ;D ;D ;D

This gets my vote as 2006 post of the year!

Remove the France family and the so-called "prototypes" :rolleyes: , and it might hold my interest.  In my eyes, they'll never recover from gridding their protocraps in front of faster GT3 Porsches.  That's the lamest of the lame.  I have friends that work in the series and they tell stories of tech inspections that would curl your hair.  It's a complete joke.

Here's a video of Hand's crash.  Brilliant the way they put drainage ditches along the new access road, huh?  Good thing Lamy didn't hit one of those or that Aston might not have landed yet.

http://matt.nfscheats.com/videos/sportscars/Handcrash.wmv

Did he get out ok?
Looked like the car held together pretty well, big pat on the back for the cars builders i feel.

Andy

http://www.whowon.com/Results.asp?TrackID=883&StoryID=191120

Morning Guys,
A little late getting onboard today, my Dad's having triple-bypass surgery this morning, he went in about 9:00 so I've got a few hours to burn now, he won't be out until 3:00 PM or so.
I was spectating up in the Keyhole for most of the GA race, watched the early afternoon support stuff from the infield.  When the accident broke out we were obviously very concerned, but as you said, full marks to the construction of the car and to the marshals and medical crew who were at the car literally as debris was still bouncing around.  The guy next to me on the hill side had a scanner and was listening to the race communication so we had a pretty good idea of what kind of shape he was in from the chatter back & forth between the people on the scene and race control.
Agreed Chop on the subject of the DP's and that draining ditch, me thinks they're already looking at re-locating that.  They ought to just run a storm drain under the circuit and down the hillside on the outside of the circuit.
Fax

Hope Fax snr's OK.  Honestly, try that book...

Thanks for the well wishes for the old fella, he'll do great.
He's actually in terrific physical conditon, just has four seriously clogged arteries.
I've got the book I think your referring to, if it's the Dave Friedman book with the Cola Cars on the cover (the RC Cola Porsche 917's from the 1973 Can-Am series) Lovely book!
If you like that, pick up a copy of Pete Lyons masterpiece
Can-Am.  Both books are among the best racing books ever written.
Fax

Hope everything goes well for your father John.

John:

Does Chuck know that this doesn't get him out of looking after the cats in September?

Let me know when the dust settles.

All went great guys, like I said in the email's to Matt & Dave, Dad's hooked up to more tubes, wires and instruments than a 747, but all's going great.  He should be back to being his grumpy old self soon. I come by it naturally ;D
Fax

Hi Fax,
          Good to hear your Dad is on the mend.
 I too have been offered a free ticket to USGP includes ride and room...... but I ain't going. Pace car duties at region race at Mosport much more entertaining.
Canada Phil

Hi Phil,
Thanks for the well wishes.  Hey! Pace car duties as Mosport would be damn good fun, where do I apply?!
One of these days I'll get back up to the Ontario Rollercoaster, maybe this year...you never know ;)
Fax

Forgot to mention, when I was up at Mid-Ohio last Sat.
several people had mentioned rumors that the USGP was going to be replaced at Indy with a Grand-Am or ALMS race on the combined circuit.  A ten or twelve hour race at IMS would be good fun, and it would draw a helluva lot bigger crowd than Bernie's prima donnas.
Fax

Great to hear you're old fella's up and fighting fax, my best wishes to you both.
Now probably wouldn't be a good time to ask for more pocket money...
H

Hi H,
Big thanks! Nah! I gave up on that a long time ago when my requests & sob stories were met with a two word expletive beginning with F! and ending with OFF! ;D
Fax

Just took a peek at the weather forecast for the race Sunday, its supposed to be damn hot, 33 degrees celsius with a chance of isolated T-storms.  Why am I going to this again?  At least the heat will keep the posers sheltered away in the AC.
Fax

Well, that was a wasted afternoon :P
It was boiling hot and a shitty race, what a way to spend a July afternoon!  Started with twenty two cars, by lap four we were down to twelve.  Did anyone actually overtake anyone on the track?  I was too busy trying to stare down the top of the leggy blonde in front of me to notice ;)  Seriously, it was a joke, this is what F1's been reduced too..  Nothing more exciting than watching twelve cars drone around in front of empty stands (That seat 300,000).  Usually I would rather pull my teeth out than feel sorry for ticket scalpers, but I really did feel for these poor bastards standing out in the baking heat not being able to GIVE AWAY tickets.
See ya F1, have a nice time in the rinky-dink, poo-dunk countries who you've actually duped into thinking your cool. F1 won't be back here anytime soon.
Great races at Lime Rock and Daytona this weekend, would rather have been there.
Fax

Sorry about that Fax. I just fell asleep watching on TV. Great MotoGP on earlier!
I saw one overtaking move on track, but that was Fisi vs Alonso. Oh so boring  :-[

Liuzi and Rosberg was a great o/t but to wait nearly 2 hours just for that...  I have a bit of drying paint which Fax may have found more interesting.

Well it wasn't total waste, there were some South American cuties walking around, and we had plenty of cold beer (about the only thing that was cold).
But the race itself was truly dreadful.  It really is amazing to think of how fast that race has plummeted in popularity.
For the first race in 2000 the place was packed, seven years later most of the stands were closed because they couldn't sell any tickets for them.  There were easily more spectators from abroad than domestic.  But hey!
At least twelve cars was better than the six we had last year ::)....Yeesh!

Surely you must all be wrong. You only had to listen to James Allen to realise that F1 was back in the USA bigger and better than ever.
 I have heard of rose tinted spectacles but never rose tinted blind folds.
Surely, even that useless prick could see the empty grandstands, who the hell is he trying to kid.

If the yanks boot out F1 then good on them I say at least they won't be taken in by Bernie's circus like so many other "easily pleased" motorsport fans.

Sarcasm mode on:

Fax you must have been at a different race..
The London Times reporter saw it this way...

The future of Formula One in the United States depended at the very least on a professional showing here — although, thrillingly, it got much more than that — while the title race required a 37-year-old German victor to keep it alive and kicking for a few weeks more.

Step forward Schumacher. A consummate display at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, abetted by the canniness of Felipe Massa, his Ferrari team-mate, who made it a memorable one-two for the Scuderia, will have appeased the natives, who were all but ready to turn their backs on the sport after last year’s US Grand Prix descended into farce

Scott Speed, the only American driver in the field who suffered an early exit, had hailed Formula One as “the pinnacle of motor sports”, but while many of his countrymen would disagree, the 120,000 who populated this vast expanse of concrete and steel seemed happy to consign last year’s shambles to memory and enjoy the day.

Certainly, the sight of Americans turning up en masse will have done much to convince Bernie Ecclestone, Formula One’s paymaster, and Tony George, the Speedway’s owner, that the sport has a future in the US as they prepare to thrash out a new contract in the coming days.

Yes Bob, when James Allen speaks, you better listen. He's "The Voice" of F1 (a voice like a cat on ketamine more like) What a load of crap it all was anyway, although the two crashes were pretty spectacular and I was pleased nobody got hurt. The Fishy/Alonso overtake was because Fishy had a lighter fuel load so Alonso lifted on the straight (or straightaway as James Allen calls it) to let him go by.

And to think they're up in arms at John Motson's hopeless performance at the World Cup... ::)

Steve,
I'm not sure where the 120,000 were, perhaps cleverly disguised as empty seats ;)  "Thrillingly it got much more than that"??? WTF race was he watching?!
I saw perhaps 40,000 people at best, most of them South American or Japanese.
Fax

I was being generous.  I said twelve, but there were only only nine cars running at the finish... Thrill a minute stuff there! ::)
Fax

I didn't say there was anything competitive about it  ;)

Good Grief!
Got word form a friend who's "very close" to the F1 community that they (being Dwarf and Dumb-Ass)
are close to a new contract to run this fiasco for another five years.  They're saying they had somewhere around 100,000 punters over there yesterday.  I would love to know where they were.  We were up in turn 13 (turn 1 of the oval) and I could have erected an inflatable swimming pool up there we had so much empty room around us.  There was a decent crowd down in turn 1 and in the infield bleachers and hillsides, but along the pit straight it was deserted except for the usual obnoxious drunk-ass Columbians up in the upper deck (they went quiet rather quickly though ;D)  The two massive stands exiting the infield section onto the oval (in the short chute between turns one & two of the oval) were completley closed.
Fax

Agreed Steve,
What aload of FB.
Talk about trying to talk up crap, James Allen is a master(bater) at it!! managed to stay awake for the first crash, just feel sorry for the sport and all who rely on it for a living.

I think they got the figure of over 100,000 from the few people who were there were lying down asleep, and therefore took up 100,000 seats.
I also thought it funny the dwarf saying F1 does not need a USA GP, but the teams calling for 2 races.

I am nothing to do with these guy's but a company called N138 make a brilliant STOP THE COCK T shirt, wich alludes to a certain Mr Allen.

You can get their stuff through the planetlemans website -  they have some other nice t-shirts too - was checking em out only yesterday  ;D 

Also available via the brilliant www.sniffpetrol.com (who started the 'Stop The Cock' campaign).

Good quality t-shirts too, v. heavy-duty cotton. www.n138.net