Club Arnage

Those of you who have met Chris Zarse know that he's a truly horrible c**t, his sick teeshirts are legendary. But spare a thought for for him this week, as he has proved himself to be a horrible c**t with a very big heart.

He has been tissue matched with an unknown recipient suffering with leukemia by the Anthony Nolan Bone Marrow Trust. So this week he's being operated on in Harley Street to have two litres of bone marrow extracted from his pelvis and femur. The operation is conducted by drilling fifteen holes into each side of his body, inserting a nine inch needle with a sucker on the end and then pumping out the marrow to extract the stem cells. He will only be under local anaesthetic as he is required to be "compliant" through the operation.

That's the good bit. The downside is that the surgeon has told him, perfectly frankly, it is one the most exquisitely painful operations known to man; if they started inflicting this sort of pain on people in Abhu Graib, Amnesty International would be absolutely up in arms about it.

So spare a thought for the pot-bellied boozer, I guarantee you're gonna have a better week than him!

Top bloke.

I thought going to give blood this afternoon was an inconveience.

Well done Chris, you t*** you! Who'll be wearing the sick tee shirts next year then? Where did he get this sudden rush of altruism from, was he drunk?- Hats off, and pants down down for the man, if it'll help the pain any.
Personally speaking, I know exactly what he's going through. Mrs H has just had a major transplant, and I've spent pretty well the last six months (hence my absence from the forum) wondering just exactly what the hell it's all about, life and everything, you know. Things seem to be going just hunky dory at the mo', but we'd have been up s*** creek without a donor, more people like that fine upstanding man, Chris the W****r, are needed, believe me.
Well done mate.
H
PS that's why George Best is a complete, utter and genuine T*****r. Chris is just pretending.

Top guy.

Someone I know is after a spare kidney, seeing the effect the waiting is having on him and his family I understand just how important these donations are.

OUCH!!!

It sounds like he's in for a whole heap of pain.  Who'd have ever thought such a horrible c**t was in fact a caring compassionate human being?

Send him all my best for a speedy and painless (well as painless as possible) recovery.

Brave chap.  I thought they only took a spoonful

To (mis)quote Tony Handcock  - Two litres!  Thats an armful

Well done Chris,  first a sperm donor and now bone marrow - top man.

Well done Chris, I always said you were a top man I never believed all those that called you a horrible c**t.

Thanks guys, I'll pass on your best wishes. I dare say it'll help keep his chin up whilst they rev up the Makita 10mm SDS.

Was he drunk? Erm, yes I believe drink, and that other great male motivator, sex, was involved. It's a long story but it all goes back to his days at Surrey Uni, where one drunken night in the Union bar, he signed on to the Donor Program to impress a female who he quite fancied. Having had his wicked way, he neglected to take the necessary step of signing off the program. A basic error, and one which is about to cost him dear.

Anyway, fast forward ten years, and having completely forgotten about it, he was somewhat surprised to be contacted by the Anthony Nolan people asking him to come in to give a blood sample. He was told there was a low likelyhood he would be of any use to them, so was initially hopeful he wouldn't be needed. Anyway, it turns out he's a very good match and to his very great credit, he had no hesitation in saying yes.

Having said that, the sanctimonious bastard has being lording his moral highground over us and telling all and sundry in the pub "I'm saving a kiddy's life you know...". I mean smuggness, it's not a very nice characteristic is it? ;). I've told him I can't wait to use his hollow skeleton as a xylophone.

Anyway, all of Team Zarse are pretty proud of him, but when you see him next, don't forget to punch him in the pelvis!


Andy Z

Good luck Chris, your a braver man than I.

Double ditto, well done.

Well I have to take my hat off to you Chris.   After I gave my first Pint of blood I felt dead "superior". 

However,  You ARE Superior.

Tom.

well done chris....a little more faith restored in human nature....

Andy, Could you do us all the minor favour of supplying a link to said donor list please? 

I'm not suggesting anyone should do it or feel pressurised into signing up etc, but for those that feel the urge having seen Chris's example, the means to do so would be nice.

Personally - I suck at Blood giving, or anything which remotely involves a needle, but lets face it - we can all over come those fears when push comes to shove.

I am humbled by your actions mr zarse - i hope the operation is as painless as possible, and look forward to bringing my xylophone sticks to le-mans to see how many renditions of god save the queen we can get out of you before you collapse in agony  ;)

Respect...hats off to you Chris.

Ouch... very brave, my deepest respect.

Brad,

Good idea.
Here it is - http://www.anthonynolan.org.uk/

I signed up about 8 years ago. It's quite simple. You fill in a form and send it off. They then write back to you and give you all the information that you need to attend a local hospital or medical centre for a blood test.

The test result is sent off to the trust. The cahnces are, that is all you will ever hear from them.

However, if you do ever come up as a potential match, they will contact you and ask you to attend for further, more detailed tests.

If it all stacks up, off you go (if you still want to).

It's imperative that you keep the trust informed as to changes of address etc.

I urge everyone to sign up - just imagine the boot on the other foot!!

Well done again Mr Z

Full Kudos to you Chris,
Sounds like an unpleasant but heroic experience.  Me thinks the mates down at the pub will owe you a few cold ones when you feel up to it.  Signing up for these kind sort things is damn important.  That said, since my blood type is O+ the local blood bank (or as we say, The Hoxworth Vampires)
are calling me about every three days to give blood.  If I gave as much as they call I wouldn't be able to walk!
Fax

God, I'm AB+.  Most of the population can drink my blood, except its a bit expensive.  A pint I can spare, but half a gallon of bone marrow makes me shudder.

Well done mate. An example to us all (well at least for this week).

Very well done Chris.That is a noble deed indeed.It happens to hit quite clost to home for me.My 13 yr sons best friend for most of his life battled LK.His name was R.J.Huff and he lodt his battle in October of 2004 at the age of 14yrs.Watching my son lose his best friend and having to deal with the funeral and everthing involved was the hardest thing I have had to do as a parent to date.
 My heart is out to you, and I wish you and the recipricant a speedy recovery.

Along with all the others I would like to add my admiration for Chris Zarse.

Just a bit more info: In addition to the Anthony Nolan trust details as given by Nobby Diesel above,  any prospective donors can also register with the National Blood Service who hold a national database of registered bone marrow donors. I'm sure that they work with the Nolan trust also. Same sort of tests, terms etc..

More information here: http://www.blood.co.uk/pages/marrow_info.html

I have given an armful of claret on and off for aound 25 years and only noticed recently that they did the bone marrow bit also. I registered but was informed at my next donation that I was a year too old!!! You must be under 44 to be eligible so if anyone is considering to follow Mr. Zarse's noble act get on and do it before it's too late.......

Thanks for the good wishes and messages of support chaps, I'll pass them on to Chris tonight when I see him. Thanks for posting up  the links in my absense too.

Anyway, I've just heard from Chris and tomorrow's the big day. So far, he's had nine jabs of something nasty to get his bone marrow working overtime and his bones are now full to bursting point. Apparently it feels like his pelvis wants to explode, it's quite debilitating and painful, a cross between alkalysing spondilitus and spina bifida by all accounts. Still, he's packed his best "This Man Likes Cock" teeshirt and he's off to London tomorrow.

Hats off - outstanding.

MG Mark

I did some work on behalf of the Antony Nolan trust some years back (when I was young enough to be a Round Tabler).

I am in total awe of everyone who does anything like this.

Send him my best...

Respect is due, well done Chris for doing a good deed!! I'm sure he'll be back down the pub in no time!!

I just hope they're not too shocked if the team Zarse gimp pants travel with him into surgery. ;D

Top Bloke Chris! Twat, but Top Bloke ;)

I know how painful its gonna be. Had to give a marrow sample once. F*** that for a game of soldiers!

Best thing we can do is find him a lesbian to convert for when he gets out of hospital.

Keep smiling dude.

Wow. Wish Chris the best of luck for me Andy, on behalf of everybody of our team.
Very brave thing to do, it sounds ever so awful though.

I hope he will be okay, just tell him a very large cold beer will be there for him at Maison Blanche next year June 8)

Good luck...

Top Man.

Any word on Chris yet?

 ???

Tell him we may turn a bit of a blind eye to his next return!

Yes and no...

They have decided to change the proceedure due to Chris having a bad back, caused he says by golf, although those of you familiar with his nocturnal habits will have other theories.

The good news is he will not now be drilled up like a flatpack chest of drawers from Ikea. Instead, he'll be having his blood pumped out, centrifuged to crack open the red blood cells and then pumped back in again. It's a process similar to dialysis and is much less distressing than the Black and Decker option. However, the downside is that it's vastly more dangerous because the blood has all it's clotting agents removed and if the Doc's don't get the coagulation drugs just right there's a greatly increased risk of embolisms, clots, internal bleeding and all manner of other nasties. He remains chipper, at least on the surface.

Just had this piccy sent through. The patient is still alive, in the clinical sense at least. I'm surprised they allowed him to wear that teeshirt, I mean, I know where it's been and is hard likely to be sterile.

Had a text message too. I quote-

"It was bleedin taters in there, the heating was broken and everything. The c**ts wouldn't even rub me cock warm".

A sense of humour is a vital ally at times like that, isn't it?

That is the picture of a brave man. Big respect to him

He seems to have a surprisingly rosy complexion for a man having the blood drained from his body.

I sometimes look like that after a hefty night on the sauce. Did you think he went for 1 last lash up last night, just in case ?

It might do the recipient the power of good - new lease of life and a free hangover.

Have to admit, that looks more pleasant than being turned into a bird feeder but as you said, there's some nasties that go with that option too.  They've always told me to go drink some wine after giving blood and I've always taken that advice to heart, hope he's allowed to have a few cold ones after this, he's more than earned it.
Fax

Good boy!  :) Reading this thread gives me goosebumps, difficult to image seeing myself doing something like this. Thumbs up!

The stem cell harvest is the easy bit, wait till he comes home, see if he would like tp go out for a brisk walk?

Has to be the most worthy destination for a CA shirt, well done.

Update ? ???

Chris isnt going to have to buy a beer at LM in 2006 ??

Good and, restored my faith in the human race, there really are nice people about.

C0ck rubbing only at Navy Hospitals !!

The miserable git never does anyway!

He's managed to struggle back to work today I think.

I've just heard his arm is much better and he summoned the energy to knock one out this morning.  :P

I've just come back from my regular blood donation session.  Whilst there I noticed a bone marrow donor leaflet.

So, taking Chris as a good example, I've now filled in the form, had the extra blood sample and signed up too.