Club Arnage

Bear with me on this supposition here...

Just suppose there had been a race meeting at said motor racing mecca during the month of August - a perfect occasion for a CA get together perhaps - and suppose that, at said meet, there happened to arise the occasion for a four lucky folk to sneak onto the track and do a lap of the full gp circuit in one of their own cars! Possibly at 1am!! Maybe even p!ssed out of their tiny minds!!!

Ok, so it's a long shot, but here's what I'm trying to find out: If there ever was any video footage of such an event, would anybody be interested in a copy?

Personally, I would suppose that such happenings would go down in history, and are almost certain never to happen!

 ;D

Perhaps if this did happen I would perhaps like a copy should they be made  ;D

Were this unlikely situation ever to occur, and it's a real no-hoper in my opinion, then yes of course I would like a copy.

But I can't belive that it would happen, it would be sheer madness on the part of the supposed perpetrators. The track officials would be very cross surely, and it's my supposition that five minutes later they would be furiously driving around the track with flashing lights on the tops of their cars in a vain search for the culprits.

No Steve, this wouldn't, couldn't happen. Could it?

I suppose if there was sneaky of a lap at Silverstone, and there happens to be some video footage, I guess I would, maybe, like to review this very unlikely event.

Not that it of course this did happen, as I have no recolation of a motor race or meeting any CA'ers at Silverstone in August.  ::) :-\

Surely people wouldn't be so irresponsible as to endanger themselves in such a manner.   :o

Steve, I would very much like a hypothetical copy please for the DVD I am making for next year.  Ta 8)

No, not unless you are a security car going the wrong way round the circuit ;)

Surely this is only an urban myth, or folklore along with Bigfoot, Marie Celeste and free beer. But if proof of this amazing event were to be made available I would be most interested. Purely for reseach you understand.

I'm sure you're right, it must be an urban myth, probably made up by parents to scare their children to behave, something like the boogyman or candyman ;)

I suspect that a virtual lap may well have occurred, with a virtual car driven by a virtual driver and 3 virtual passengers wedged into said virtual car.

One of the virtual passengers may well have been able to shoot some virtual film with a virtual video camera.

Following the virtual lap, the virtual perpetrators could then have virtually sneaked back to the virtual campsite at the virtual racing circuit and had another virtual drink.

Virtually.

If so, I virtually would like a copy of this virtual video, for subesquent review on my virtual TV, in my virtual house etc etc.

Would be a laugh a bit dangerous if you were pissed. And if you did happen to crash then all hell would provail. It would be interesting to see but very dangerous in my eyes. Another situation i have been in is we were very close to gettin onto hethel which is the lotus test track but opted out. But yeah go for it and i would like a copy if you can pull it off!!!!

This happened a few years ago during GP week and the participants crashed. Can't remember if it was fatal or not.

Mr Harber. Sir. I must point out that in my hypothetical opinion, there isn't a member of CA (gawd bless her and all who sail etc...) alive today who would attempt this feat of virtual impossibility! Again.
What I mean to say is, this particular suggested event may, or indeed may not have already happened. :-\

I’ve heard a rumour that agents Mulder and Scully are on their way over to investigate this possible X-file. One of the locals reported seeing lights in the night sky near Northampton that could NOT have been anything else other than a UFO. When pushed to explain this statement, the local said “the movement of the lights were so fast and erratic that they could not have been of this world”

For my part I would hypothetically love a copy of this hypothetical event ..... should one become hypothetically available :D

The Truth is Out There!

Stu is correct.Four of the helicopter display  team drove round in an MGF and rolled .
Cant remember the injuries though
PM

There you go then...... 4 people in an MGF = QED

Surely they would have been better off in a helicopter?

So would I Steve, or even an MGF...

Can I suggest one of these H,

(http://www.imperialsuit.com/new1409_detail_72dpi.jpg)

Wow, with one of those who needs a tent?

...or you could try the new 1409LM, which also includes breakdown recovery (physical or emotional) and a built-in sh!tbox. Oh, and it's white so you look more like the michelin man than a tellytubby

I like the idea of Hard Soles for better traction, I'll have couple please Mr Brown 8)

Non skid traction - no less  ;D

What every Vulcan needs :D

I prefer this http://www.anchorsupplies.com/suit1.jpg

Don't know if you are into diving but it is possible to have a pleasure dive in the old style hard hat suits.

http://www.portlandoceaneering.com/diving.htm

not done it myself and to be honest i think you have to be mad.  absolutely no chance of getting back to the surface on your own steam

Holy Sh*t Steve!
So that's what you get up to in the garden shed during those long winter nights, I'd recognize those beady eyes anywhere.
It lacks a gimp mask, but I still reckon it would go down a treat at Sunday morning Mass, stepping into the confessional in one of those and clearing your throat would strike fear into the heart of any Man of God. I see the front zipper is corrosion proof, a wise move, but the lack of a zippered patch at the rear has got me worried. How many movements do you reckon would fit in there before it started to leak out from around the adjustable spray shield around the face?
Talking about movements, did anyone share the same experience as me in the squatters at LM this year? I don't know if it was the diet or the weather, or, God forbid, the company, but I remember slipping into one in an initially buoyant frame of mind on Sunday morning. You know how it is, you drop your shorts and assume the position and start straining. What followed was a new one on me, there wasn't really much action at first, then the gattling gunning started, armour piercing ball bearings shooting out at rapid, though uneven intervals and richocheting around the cubicle, I could have done with some safety goggles and was lucky to get away with a couple of small nicks. By now, you're getting a little knackered, and your legs are starting to shake so you try and compensate by taking your hands of your knees and pressing them to (the very near) walls. Sweat beads are forming on your brow. The bullets must have been a "plug", as the real action now started, and images of Boscombe Bay came to mind, and if there'd been a Post Office nearby, it would have been swept away. I can confirm that removing your shorts completely is a good idea, as is training up your thigh muscles, I was shaking like a leaf and grimacing like a monkey in a NASA centrifuge by then, and any thoughts of clearing up just weren't entertained.
And yet, you, or at least I, manage to exit the cubicle, not looking good, but with a straight face, nod to the next guy in the queue and say "it's all yours, mate"
Hours of endless fun, ones toilet.
H

This is also known as "the safety car pulling into the pit lane"; once the lights on the roof go out, you know the race is about to begin in earnest...

Anyhow, it seems you certainly "Won the Golden Ticket", i.e. you were afforded lots of mischief in the chocolate factory.

Going back to the hypothetical lap, I'm sure it didn't happen, because security is so tight, like at Brands Hatch, where about an hour after lighting a bonfire, it exploded.  It was like the starship Enterprise going into warpdrive, all these little lights shooting past, but red not white.  Anyway, about half an hour later security came along to tell us off for the bonfire, and by then even the crater had stopped smouldering so we told them to f**k off.  One or two of the tents looked like lace curtains.  We still don't know how it happened.

I don't know about movements in Boscome Bay, H, but I was involved in a movement his year on Saturday morning that Charles Clarke should ban... I wandered from our encampment very, very, very hungover with that slightly loose feeling round the midrif and nether regions that one gets first thing the morning after the night before and I joined the queue for the traps at the bottom of MB...

As we all know, at LM it can take some time before one can sit down, grasp the the straining bars and take care of business of a morning but, as with the rest of the gents there, I waited patiently in line...

10 mins then 20 mins go by... and I began to realise my 'Leave Tent, Wait, Dump' timing is very severely awry... The front of the queue was still a good 10 minutes away... when the turtles head slowly but surely forced its way into the subdued light of my shorts.... Cloth was being touched by his little nose... There was no way he was going to be denied his bid for freedom...

Things were looking decidedly embarrassing for me and unfortunate for all around me... when hallelujah, there appeared an empty trap.. in the ladies block and there were no ladies in the queue...

Apologising to all around me I hastened my way (in a gait used never before or since) to the trap... where the turtle completed his escape... and bejesus the animal life behind him...

He's making a swim for it, when there was a sound that was akin to the noise made by a flock of pigeons exiting their basket on the long flight back to the loft... coupled with a massive physical sense of relief...

I go on record now if there were any CA'ers (or anyone else for that matter) there that morning, the need was genuine... and I didn't leave a mess for any of the fairer sex...

There is a footnote to this sorry tale, I had an MRI ticket... If I had had my wits about me I could have walked up there and used their traps... I am embarrarassed to this day....

DW

Hubble bubble, toilet trouble! DW, it's a great tale and one we can all identify with. I think we've all been there, when we know what we need to do but the brain is not capable of working out the best way to do it.  :( Some of you may remember me recounting my episode in the German's tent in Parking Rouge some years ago.  :-X I think they're still looking for me.

I remember the MGF Incident....
Just the one death if i remember rightly......
Not sure about the others though....

I believe the hypothetical lap is entirely possible, but then again i also believe in Father Christmas, leprechauns (even if i cant spell em), tooth fairies and the essential good nature of mankind..... there is one born every minute!   ;D

Would be nice to set actual proof tho....

P.S.  Yet another thread ends up on the topic of poo - and its not my fault!

Hi Fran

I believe there is a plan afoot to get the imaginary footage online for one and all to download at will. I'll let you know when/where.

Steve

Steve, I've texted you re: Virtual Hosting!!

Well you just wouldn't believe what I found on my hard drive today. Go on, guess. After nearly 3 years and a lot of speculation I have finally uploaded the infamous footage to you tube. I can't actually remember who the cameraman was, but it was very dark, and I think an entire afternoon-worth of alcohol may go some way to explaining the lack of anything to see for most of the lap. However, you can make out some of the corner/braking marker boards, and look out for the start/finish straight - the only lit part of the circuit as all the lights were still on in the pit buildings.

Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rBgQcYxTGM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rBgQcYxTGM)

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Excellent work!! 

With that music I kept waiting for the lil bald geezer to run across the track followed by a trail of skantily clad lovelies!!  :laugh:

F

P.S.


YOUR hard drive Steve?!!  I dread to think!    ;)

Genius!
I'm still laughing!!!!!
I showed it to my wife who said "What's funny about that?". "They could've had an accident, that's so irresponsible"
Don't think she'd like Le Mans.........

Steve

Maybe the Classic would be ok......opps - maybe not!  ;D

hypothetically speaking what a good job that didn't happen

And what a pity the darkness rose all around to cloak it all

Anyway there seems no likelihood of any Zarses being at a circuit that runs an ORDINARY motor car race, does there?



Brilliant

just very very cool 8)

Fran never let it be said that you cant spell leprethingies

you can!

x

Rabbits  >:D

A touch of the tourettes Steve?   8)


BTW - according to F1 ITV its hares at Silverstone!

I stand corrected Fran  ;)

 :P  -  oops - not that I was watching F1 of course!!! Oh the shame.

Just watched it again.. and again... you are a very naughty boy! ;D

What great memories.  Not that I was there you understand ...   ::)

Dx

I dont remember being there............................. :-\

And why has my right shoulder started to ache?

Bobblehat

It was all that windmilling Bob  ::)

Please tell me you're not referring to me as a naughty boy! There is no evidence whatsoever that I had anything at all to do with this incredibly brave and heroic deed. I hope.  :-X

No I have checked this a couple of times (I do need to get out more  ;D ).

I think this is a hoax, I think it is the multi story car park at Basingstoke, late at night with all the lights out. Bet you still got the ticket for parking as well.  ;)