Club Arnage

With the recent demise of Jaguar's Formula One team, I'm wondering whether Jaguar will ever return to sportscar racing.

Do CAers reckon there is any chance of this?

If so, how long would it be before Jaguar are at Le Mans again?

One of our crew is driving down in an E type tthis year, does this count ?

Jaguar are part of the mighty Ford empire and the corporate sportscar funding seems to be going to Aston Martin at the moment.

Yes, I forgot that Ford also own Aston Martin.

Looks like the earliest possible Jag action won't be for several years if at all.

Still, at least we have the DBR9 to cheer on.

I believe that Aston are financing their racing by producing a batch (about 20 rings a bell) DBR9's for sale to selected individuals so it shouldn't effect the corporatte coffers.

I think Ford are just not interested these days!

Ford/Aston may not be paying the bills, but I bet there will be a quite a few Ford/Aston people in the suites above the pits. Should it do well I imagine Aston will claim a fair bit of credit too.

I heard Mazda, another Ford brand, have hopes to produce an LMP2 car or at the very least an engine in the near future.

A Jag LMP1 would be great, but I would expect a jag powered car in the Grand Am Daytona 24hr race before that.

I recall Mazda doing pretty well with their rotary engine design, winning Le Mans in 91' (stealing it out from under the noses of Jaguar if I remember correctly).

Be interesting to see what they might come up with for future races.

Mazda were always a mainstay of the old IMSA Camel GTP series so I easily see them looking to get back into prototype action.  LMP2 seems to be the way to go right now (as far as prototypes are concerned), Audi has effectively killed the LMP1 class.  The 1992 four rotor GTP car car that Mazada ran in IMSA may well be the loudest racing car I've ever heard.
Fax

Jaguar are currently advertising a concept to replace the XK range.

This may one day be put up in the GT class ?

(http://www.flying-pig.net/DBH_LOGO1.jpg)

From the information I have jaguar will not make a return to gt racing only the Aston brand will be used by FMC.

But it would be a laugh to see a volvo gt car, another of fords brands or even a landrover

Don't discount a landrovers' capability, I was driving a disco towing a trailer last year and beat my LM to Calais personal best. They might be big and ugly but the V8 goes like snot off a stick.

Especially if the Bowler Wildcat variant.  The 5 litre V8 version does 0-60 in 4.8 seconds!

(http://www.4x4news.co.uk/n/pr25oct2002.jpg)

http://www.bowler-offroad.com/ (http://www.bowler-offroad.com/)

That only took you 3 minutes to come up with that picture, I don't now how you guys do it so fast and presumably when you are supposed to be working

Hmmm,
I'm not sure about the point of rapid land rovers, and thought I'd give your observations a practical test Bob.

I've had a bit of a cold lately, so that's helped. Anyway,  I got a generous helping of snot on a stick that was lying around in the garden, and I can confirm that it's difficult to get the damn stuff to go anywhere now, let alone 60 miles an hour without the stick. In fact I got quite dizzy, just trying.
Still, that's Ford for you.
H

I think I have to concur, partly, with Big H, I too have a cold and lashings of the aforementioned snot so undertook my own experiment.

Whilst I agree a fair amount of snot does still remain on the stick, with the right wrist action a blob of it does indeed travel a fair distance at speed.  My conclusion being, if you don’t mind parts of your Ford being left on the stick, other parts will indeed get there quite quickly.

Thanks Big H, love the work you’re doing !!

Planman

I'm convinced I've cracked it!

Bob's D'rover was probably made under BMW ownership in no lesser place than Solihull, the snotty end of Birmingham. Indeed the alloy name badge on earlier LR products proclaimed "Land Rover - Birmingham". However, once the vehicles began to be seen as lifestyle accessories, it soon changed to "Land Rover - Solihull, Warkwickshire". Add this to your average 3 series owner's snotty nosed attitude and you have all the mucal evidence you need.

I'm a bit more bemused by the Jags though. Whilst I do accept modern Jags are often driven by rather snotty people, they're built by the Liverpool Boys, less snotty folk you couldn't hope to meet, so perhaps we're back to sqare one.

And I've always been bemused by people who stick bogeys to the tiles above the urinals in pub toilets. Why?

So what about the VOLO then?

I presume you are not talking about a V-TWIN or that would make it a VOLVO

yes I did mean VOLVO wheres the spell check when you need it.

And i wont alter the first post as I'm man enough to admit I can't spell

yoo ownly haf two reed sum ov mi powsts 2 reulise I carnt spel

Thanks Planman, I'm still on the case. I had planned to continue with my research, and have a shovel here, ready. However a little constipation on my part has delayed this experiment. I'll keep you posted.

Apart from the tiles above the urinals, what the **** is that truckers get up to in the service station traps to leave them in that state?
H

It's a shame you're not here in Jersey, I have "lumps of it round the back" due to some tit force feeding me with Vodka and Redbull at the weekend!

I feel this reseach is of the utmost importance if we are ever to find out which is quicker off a stick, snot or sh*t !!

The truckers leave a mess primarily because their diet of fry-ups lacks sufficient fibre. This means constipation and results in excessive straining and concommitant thrashing around and sucking on lavatory paper. As a man who's suffering too, I'd have thought you'd have realised this.

The Planman has one solution, vodka is a well known laxative and emetic. But I wouldn't recommend it's use before driving a truck. A heaped serving spoon of mustard powder in a glass of water works wonders I'm told. Failing that, try rubbing the green end of a goose turd around your navel.

Dr Zarse

It seems to me that four main elements have surfaced in the course of this thread,those being, Snot,Stick Bogey and a Goose Turd. If these letters are rearranged into a well known phrase or saying we get " YO, GET TURBO DISCO,GO'ES KNOTS". Which proves that my original observation that "a V8 landrover go'es like snot off a stick" is in fact true. I rest my case.

The Planman has one solution, vodka is a well known laxative and emetic.
So Dr, tell me, when will my poo stop smelling like Redbull?

I take it you want to treat the problem not the syptoms. I suggest a holistic remedy would be best. I will need to consult with Chris Zarse who is a state registered nutrionist. But I'd be surprised if the cure will not contain a diet of large donner kebab sprinkled with an ounce of St Bruno Ready Rubbed.

Ah of course a Donor - truly the food of Gods!

How foolish that I should not think to treat myself sooner!!

You are my lighthouse in the fog of Redbull smellie poo!!

Thank you Doctor, I will start your prescrition on the way home from the pub tonight !! ;D

Chris advises the reasons are twofold. Firstly, runny stools are caused by an overindulgence of alcohol and secondly, the excess sugar causes an adverse osmotic gradient in the large intestine (technically known as the shitfactory). This causes osmotic diarrhoea.

Most stomach gases (technically known as blowing off) are caused bya breakdown of soluble fibres, but there don't seem to be any in Redbull. Chris thinks it's the Taurine content, it's a hormone and is protein based and is not usually drunk, being more commonly used as the active ingridient in Holt's Screenwash.

Perhaps they should change the advertising strapline to

"Redbull. Gives you the shits. And they smell of Redbull".

 It's a winner if you ask me.

Ahh Dr Zarse your remedy worked a treat. ;D

Wobbled home after last orders last night, and indeed partook of the aforementioned donor, and I have to say it has worked wonders.  However, I was unaware of the side effects, being a burning ring of fire. :-[

I do, however, know what has brought these on!  Due to the amount of alcohol consumed, I was forgetting that the ability to judge quantity would leave me.  When asked how much chilli sauce needed to be applied, “just keep it coming I can handle it” was now, with the benefit of hindsight, the wrong thing to say!!

Never mind, at least I’m rid of the damn smell of Redbull, only to be replaced by the fear of going to the loo cos my arse is on fire !!!  :-[

Thank Chris for me, I know he was only trying to help ;D

Planman

Oh how I love this forum and its unwavering ability to turn any thread around to nether regional chit-chat.

 ;D

CA would not be the same without it  ;D

By the way, have you seen the Fathers much?  Are they going this year?

Ooh, good point!

Only have contact details for Mr. Ward so shall do the honours. Assume they will be there and hopefully in full force this year. Depleted numbers last year  :(

Will investigate and report back....

 ;D

Give the all the best from Team Crapaud, and ask how Rick is (another Rick not you)

 ;D

.....no his name was Andy not Rick......... sorry, it's been over a year now..... ???