Title: Still laughing !!
Post by: Gilles on July 15, 2004, 01:56:34 pm
One night, a little blind boy's mother said to him, "Anthony, if you pray really, REALLY hard tonight, when the sun rises tomorrow you will be able to see!" Needless to say, Anthony prays up a storm! Morning came and Anthony is still blind.
He starts crying and his mom rushes in. She gasps, "Anthony, what's wrong?"
Anthony wails, "Mommy, I prayed so hard but I'm still blind!" His Mom gently pats him on the head. "I know, honey. April Fools!"
He starts crying and his mom rushes in. She gasps, "Anthony, what's wrong?"
Anthony wails, "Mommy, I prayed so hard but I'm still blind!" His Mom gently pats him on the head. "I know, honey. April Fools!"
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: Snoring Rhino on July 15, 2004, 02:23:29 pm
And the 2004 award for Political Correctness goes to ............. Gilles!
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: Brad Zarse on July 15, 2004, 04:25:28 pm
That was funny in French I imagine ! ;D
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: Chef on July 16, 2004, 12:27:47 pm
crash and burn gilles. . . . .
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: Steve Pyro on July 16, 2004, 04:49:09 pm
Gilles, I suppose you posted that after being rather over 'refreshed' on Bastille Day.
Vive la France !
Vive la France !
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: Gilles on July 16, 2004, 05:16:36 pm
This kid was probably the only one not soaping after the Euro football match :P
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: Ruptured Duck Motorsport on July 22, 2004, 09:26:12 am
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk".
The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."
The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: Snoring Rhino on July 22, 2004, 02:05:42 pm
Sorry Mark - I reckon Gilles still has the title! ;D
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: johnevans3 on July 22, 2004, 08:49:53 pm
A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. "Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thought to himself. But desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3-day / 10 pound weight loss program.
The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but air and some Nike running shoes with a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!"
The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10lb. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5- day / 20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me." He's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.
For the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20 lbs, as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day / 50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine." :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old young lady dressed in nothing but air and some Nike running shoes with a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business!"
The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10lb. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5- day / 20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me." He's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.
For the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another 20 lbs, as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day / 50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you're mine." :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: johnevans3 on July 27, 2004, 10:23:35 pm
I can't believe no one liked my joke ??? ???
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: Robbo SPS on July 28, 2004, 01:12:40 am
I can't believe no one liked my joke ??? ???
John
As with lots of American things, the Brits saw it a few years ago, but hey it good bringing the old ones out. ;D
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: Gilles on July 30, 2004, 09:37:27 am
I got a new car radio yesterday. It has voice recognition. You shout "soul" and it plays a soul station. You shout "rock" and it finds rock and roll for you. You shout "country" and it finds country music.
I was enjoying this new technology when some children ran in front of my car, causing me to swerve at the last second. I yelled out: "F&**king kids!"
And my radio started playing Michael Jackson songs ;D
I was enjoying this new technology when some children ran in front of my car, causing me to swerve at the last second. I yelled out: "F&**king kids!"
And my radio started playing Michael Jackson songs ;D
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: SteveZarse on July 30, 2004, 10:06:04 am
;D ;D ;DMuch better Gilles, bravo! ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: johnevans3 on July 30, 2004, 02:25:31 pm
That is better than the first one.
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: gibberish on July 30, 2004, 02:32:53 pm
Excellent Gilles. Well done ;D
Title: Re:Still laughing !!
Post by: Snoring Rhino on August 01, 2004, 01:43:14 am
!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D!!!!
