Club Arnage

I went through Le Mans yesterday, whilst enjoying the odd race with girlie french bikers.

took a lovely photo of the new walls on the Blue Mad Friday strip, just outside the MB gates !!!!

[attachment deleted by admin]

Lovely, the french have a wonderful way of being at one with nature!

Bloody hell!!!!!!!!!  Looks like Stalag 13  :-\

It has buggered our veiwing spot for mad Friday but on the positive side it will stop the pikies just climbing over the fence and being free to wander also stopping the quick dash in and out with are gear.

I propose we form an escape committee and plan to dig a tunnel - just imagine all CA MB campers dropping earth out their trouser legs in front of the grandstand - the added benefit of course would be a raised bank for viewing purposes...

Odd race !! Why ?

You were the only other CA member to attend the race ?

Blimey Robbo, that looks a bit like overkill, who are they expecting to try and gate crash, The Light Brigade?

I'm now more than a little concerned about the increase in size of the Maison Blanche camp site, and worried that there will be no corresponding increase in the facilities, particularly in the 'bottom end' infrastructure.

A couple of years ago, after an eye-watering 30 minute straining session in one of the squatters, exacerbated by the increasing queue length, five of my haemorrhoids exploded. And I tell you most sincerely, you don't walk away from that too easily. In fact I didn't really walk easily for about three weeks.

No, I don't want to go through that again...
H

H you have my sympathy. Some time ago I wrote to the ACO to complain about the facilities in the toilet area. I was decrying not the fact that there weren't enough or that they were dirty. It was more that the ACO had not been humane enough to install leather straining straps or foot-shaped heaving blocks on the back of the door. Result: A ruptured anal fissure and Nurembergs like a vine of cherry tomatoes.

They did not have the courtesy to reply.

A bit of a 'high handed' attitude if you ask me Andy. When what we probably wanted was some 'low handed' action. A second storey would be interesting, and maybe some piped music.

All I wanted was a gimp mask and some Mississippi Geetar music. This Gospel Music will save me, I'm sure of that.

Mary-Lou!!

H

The heady aroma of revolution is hot in the air, along with the other heady smells and whiffy hotspots associated with MB. Are we going to take this lying down? I say no brothers!

No, what we need is a sit-in protest. We can climb on the roof of the Abloutions Block, hurl roof slates at the Shitehouse Family and wave a big banner saying "WE ARE NOT ANIMALS". Obviously we'll demand negotiations directly with the President of the ACO. M Cossin will eventually accede to our demands for pink two ply and a free copy of the Daily Mirror and we'll all emerge as heros of the revolution.

Che Zarse

All I can say is 'Toilet tent with Chemical Loo'  Soooooo convenient.  ;D

All I can say is toilet tent with chemical loo being turned over in a step-too-far practical joke, much to the occupants' annoyance.

Sorry but it's not the same president anymore. The new one is Jean Claude Plassard and he's a former chief executive of Carrefour group, but it won't mean taht he'll provide eevrything unfortunately  ;) !!!

Now that really is a shi**y thing to do to someone.  ;)

Still rekon it's worth the risk.

I've seen a couple of 'portalets' go over and it's a fairly gruesome spectacle, particularly if they land on the door, rendering immediate escape difficult and squidgy.
I'm surprised by talk of 'straining sessions', teeth-marks in the woodwork and associated paraphenalia to assist with the evacuation process.
My experience at Le Mans is usually contrary to all this huffing and puffing. Best described as leisurely cable-laying, when my constitution is sound (look after your Guinness and it looks after you) - and a night-time Shuttle launch, when the imbibement has loosened me up somewhat, the 'no pain, no strain, just sit (squat) there and drain' philosophy is the one to which I subscribe.
I'll leave it to Fax to tell the tale of the assault with fire-hose that he endured in the Houx bogs in 2000 - and Ricardo to describe how he retrieved his readers, having dropped them down the hell-hole, while 'sorting himself out'.
The very, very worst crappers are the ones behind the tribunes. The horrors of those places are indescribable - oh God and baby Jesus, it makes me shudder to contemplate.........

I used one of those last year.  It had some sort of mutant green slime growing all over it   :-X :-X :-X

You mean the old air raid shelter type thingy Matt?

On our first visit in '88, a pal of mine went in there without taking any bog roll; he thought paper would be provided and in this assumption he was quite wrong. Having eased himself of his "burden", his cries of dismay when he discovered the facts of the matter had to be heard to be believed. A twisted head poked through the tiny window and begged us get some paper. So we complied with his request with one solitary sheet of single ply off Mrs Shitehouse and we passed it under the door with the explicit instruction to use both sides. He called us all bastards for some reason. In the end he had to rip his cotton boxers to pieces and use the rags to clean himself; apparently there wasn't quite enough material to make an entirely clean job of it. Later on, he broke my back.

The very same Andy - and Gibb identified them by the varied mutated flora that has thrived on the sh*t-fumes in there, down the generations.
I am still traumatised by a truly horrific visit I made in 1983 and I vowed never to return, but have found it necessary to make emergency pit-stops on several occasions since - all of them very very scary. The gloss art finish of the Autosport Le Mans Yearbook does not lend itself well to the job of 'finishing-up', as I found to my cost - and like your oppo, my shreddies had to make the ultimate sacrifice.
A nameless, but close associate of mine described a particularly horrowing experience in 2002 when the all-night champagne binge was rudely interupted by his burning desire to drop the kids off at the pool. He was so totally wankered that he fell asleep in this house of horrors, woke up half on, half off the throne and was dismayed to discover that there was no fluffy double-quilted Andrex, with wich to spruce-up. With suicidal resignation, he wiped his yin-yang with the piss-soaked late editions of Le Maine that lay scattered about the fetid floor. It was mildly surprising that he survived the weekend without contracting something life threatening.
When I see heart-rending footage of the ghastly horrors of WW2 death-camps, I'm reminded of those f**k*ng bogs.
Oh, the humanity........

2 words: Immodium plus

Take regularly.  Only thing which works better is a cork and an elastaplast, but they really stay on with all that clammyness downthere