Club Arnage

Well, it's getting nearer and nearer. Anyone fancy a stab at the grid?

Will the ACO let Henri on the boat?
How many privateer Audis? (4, I reckon)
A couple of TVR's and a lone Lister, with no spares, obviously.
A Harper sponsored Morgan
Two RFH Dome
A customer Panoz LMP1 (Labre?)
Robbo's old Focus

The GTS race was worth following last time, any Veloqx this year, they've been pretty quiet, presumably Corvette will still be coming. Any info on the US teams Fax? (Fax, whose posts I always enjoy, - Matt, I need to know more about 'The Death Grip') And Rick, what about UK news!

There you are, I've gone through a whole post without mentioning private parts...
H

What about private ears!!!!  ::)  <ducking for cover>  ;D ;D

I think the aco had a provisional list on their website but I am Firewalled out at work.  No real surprises in LMP but the GT+GTS categories looked interesting.

website for those of you that don't know is www.lemans.org .

Big H, had a look around on the web and Aysedasi has had a go,

The UK Audi team line ups are wrong if Sebring is anything to go by.

http://www.clubarnage.com/yabbse/index.php?board=1;action=display;threadid=1552


http://www.aysedasi.btinternet.co.uk/2004/2004entry.htm

Abs

Hi H,
Regarding the US teams, I had heard rumors that Dyson Racing were contemplating a LM assualt with their Lola-MG's.  This would be a nice addition to the entry as I think they, of any of the teams using the Lola-MG combo really have it sorted and flying.  Last year they were giving the Audi squads all they could handle in the ALMS.  Its now widely accepted that Alex Job racing are getting more than a little factory support from Porsche, so much support that they have lost, or are on the verge losing their privateer status in ALMS.  The new Barron Conner team is an interesting new addition, fielding a pair of new Ferrari 575's is ambitious but the inclusion of one Daniel John Sullivan on the driving strength will promise plenty of media exposure, even if Danny is a bit past his sell by date as a serious racing driver.
John

Hello H
Fax's 'Cold Hand of Death' is a worrisome phenomenon (that I've been chastised for, on this illustrious forum for making light of, so I need to tread carefully) that has manifest itself rather too frequently, in recent times
'Ol Fax likes to do the pit-walk thing, - he can recognise all the drivers - whereas they all look like identical swarthy, over-paid little f**k*rs with expensive sunglasses to me. It is a proven fact that if Fax lays a hand on a driver, his days are numbered. His slaps on the back, handshakes and wishes of good luck in the forthcoming race have been the undoing of noteables, Bob Wolleck, Dale Earnhardt and Michaele Albereto, I'm sad to report.
Unfortunately, there are others who have been blighted by Fax's touch, who quite frankly, are living on borrowed time.
I do not wish to name names for fear of precipitating anyone's premature advancement into the afterlife, however I wouldn't like to be in David Brabham or Jan Lammers racing boots.
I have it on reliable authority that a photograph taken of Fax, buddying up to Ron Fellows at Road Atlanta, when developed, contained only an image of the venerable Ron.
Mmmmwhahahahahaha!

Hi Big H, Corvette will be there. ALMS Champions get na invite. Running on Michelins this year which are faster than the previous tyres plus they will no doubt have found more horsepower.
Canada Phil

Thanks for the info fellas, have a good'un this weekend, and remember to wear sensible trousers.
Fax, if I get to meet you in June, do you mind terribly if we don't shake hands? Nothing personal...
Except I too read Edgar Allen Poe when I was a nipper, and I can see me lying sweating in my tent, eyeballs bulging, sweat beading on my head, and that damned duh-dunk, duh-dunk, duh-dunk drowning out the sound of the cars.
I'll bring a monkeys hand to be on the safe side.
H

No sweat H,
Funny thing, some guys seem to be immune to it though.  I've met Mario Andretti probably dozens of times over the years and he always walked away unscathed.  But come come to think of it, he's had some bizarre sh*t happen to him when leading the Indy 500 over the years.
John

H , The old Focus is gone ....

Alas this is my new steed, although mine is in white......

Couldnt catch a cold with this..... although it does have 27 speeds...

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Dammit! I knew he was a f**k*ng copper! Talk about "The Enemy Within"!

I actually never said i am , i am just going to get a white version of THAT bike !

Yeah, right Robbo - or should I say "Officer". Nicked anyone for driving in a bus lane today, have we - bit of a mason are we, funny handshake and all that? "M'lud, the accused persistently assaulted my boot with his face, before he fell down the cell steps" That's how it works , is it?
All this clap-trap about how sneaky the Hants Constabulary is, when all along, he's f**k*ng one of 'em!
Shame on you, Rozzer!

Poke it up your @rse sideways....

I still hate Traffic Coppers with Radar guns, and yes i do have a friend who works for Hampsire Plod, quite a few in fact.

Stories.... Not posting them, will discuss over Alcohol in June

He's a copper - I'm telling you!
Here's what's going to happen, you mark my words. This T Shirt thing is a sly trick to identify us. You just wait.
He's going to be standing at the dockside in his tall hat and shiney boots, with a couple of Transits and a few of his facist colleagues, rounding us all up on trumped-up motoring offences.
It'll be "Anyone in a Club Arnage T shirt - this is going to be an easy pinch". He's probably notified all his French rozzer-cronies to do the same.
Robbo SPS? - SPG more likely.

If only you knew the true  story...........

I can tell you that one of my nick names at work is CRO. 3 letters C  R  O. work out what it means.

You'd be a Crime Reduction Officer then Robbo???

Robbo,
I'm looking forward to Matt introducing you to his LM chum Desperate Dan The Bellmarsh Man.
I predict lots of fun, jolly wheezes and capers when you three get together. Sadly, like yourself Dan only has small windows of opportunity to take advantage of to keep in touch. In fact generally, he just has small windows.
H

I've been wrestling with this one for, oh, it must be the last 30 seconds or so, but I just can't figure it out.
Clearly 'C' and 'R' signify Constable Robbo, is 'O' your blood group?

I can only assume Dan is back in the 'Big House', as he hasn't posted any death-threats on this forum in months. I did wonder if he might be an Al-Queda splinter cell and has simply gone to ground, but on reflection, I suspect he's simply doing another stint, for playing with matches or similar.

Curiously enough, I was down the Fisting Parlour the other day for a bit of rimming and I asked Madame ZaZa if she'd seen him around. Apparently he was last heard of doing a stretch for Arson in a Naval Dockyard. Or I think that's what she said, it's difficult to hear when you're underwater and wearing one of those tight black rubber head masks with a breathing pipe. Or perhaps he was stretching a Naval docker's arse, I can't really say.

Personally, I reckon Robbo Is a Community Relations Officer. Under the hardened exterior he's a wimpish, woolly, left-leaning liberal in his professional capacity. Typical Yorkshire, eh Matt?

I always thought Robbo was a Cathode Ray Oscilloscope.
Made of glass but always able to give a good picture - assuming he is on the correct frequency.

It's all a question of amplitude you know.

Could he be a...

CRO-magnon?  ;D

Spoke to Dan on Monday but he was busy so waiting for him to call me back, so unless he conceals his mobile somewhere where only rubber gloves can find it then I assume he is a free man!!  ;)

He is however booked for Le Mans this year. Once again, his Tourette suffering cousin Gary will be with him!!  ;D

If Robbo is indeed a Community Relations Officer, he has my undivided respect. Keeping opposing gangs of hoodlums from robbing, murdering, mutilating and abusing each other is not the kind of thing I'd look forward to, each morning.
Very early in my married life, due to a number of circumstances (but most notably my inability, at the time, to hold down a decent job) we found ourselves dwelling in a council maisonette on a particularly hideous estate in Swarcliffe, Leeds.
It was truly a miserable existence. My neighbors weren't all scumballs, but enough of them were, to make everyone else feel they were living in hell.
I finally got a semi-decent job, which provided a brand new Vauxhall Cavalier and I was like a puff with two arses when I brought it home. Next morning it was covered in paint stripper.
Trying to maintain a civilised lifestyle was a seige.
I got punched-out a couple of times, trying to defend my family and property from utter low-life bastards.
Dealing with those kind of problems ain't easy - if that's your profession Robbo, rispeck, dude.

I shall not rise to your bait today Andy, I'm feeling mellow and chilled - it's Friday - so a few beers tonight, it's 78 degrees, blue skies and Sebring in a weeks time. Talk about contrasts....

Is Miami any different, except for the climate? At least you can be mugged in the sunshine there.

PS Matt, what do you know about Puerto Rico. I've been told it's a bit violent.  :(On the other hand, someone else described it as one big brothel!  :)

So now I'm really torn as whether to go or not? Any advice?

It's true - certain parts of Miami FL are somewhat dodgy - but I think it's the same anywhere these days (Crawley included). Not too many people get rolled-over in Coral Gables, or South Beach.
Even in plastic, contrived and squeaky-clean Orlando there are a couple of neighborhoods that are wise to avoid (depending upon your ethnic persuasion - very un-pc - granted, but that's just the way it frickin' is).
As for Peurto Rico, I'm not a big fan. It's cheap and the climate is great - but you will be beseiged by beggars, tinkers and panhandlers, white-boy. You'll also be in trouble if you can't make yourself understood in Espagnol. Finally taking to the roads is a genuinely life threatening passtime.
If I were you, I'd stay in the Islands or puddle-jump to FL - however, you sound like the adventurous type......

CRO is an analergy given to those who have a Criminal Record. And some of the young ladies in my control room feel the way i deal with people is criminal......

But you are right , i work in Leigh Park, lovely place, every satrurday football fans get of the train to fight the locals.

All good ruff tough stuff, but gets boring after a while.