Club Arnage

Gentlemen - my life has come to an end  :(  she who must be obeyed has just informed be that I will not be going to Le Mans 2004 !

To be honest, I have known for a couple of weeks now but have been in denial. :-[  It would appear some daft t*wat in our family is getting married and of all of the f**kin weekends they had to pick it had to be in the holy month of June on that scared weekend of worship! :'(

I have over Christmas made fruitless passes at the Bride to be, even told her that her toilet parts will heal over and sex will become a thing of the past, all to no avail.

Therefore my life is at an end.  Pace and good Le Mans be with you my brothers, the only light I have in my life is the stag do is in Amsterdam!  Banana Bar here I come!!

The Planman
Team Crapaud

Planman, why don't you suggest to the bride and groom that they get married in Le Mans cathedral - sorted !

Bad planning there planman !!!

The 'dam should make up for some of it tho. Just make sure you don't bring any surprise gifts back for your missus or all future plans will be f**ked too.

Rusty  ;D

Rusty, the Plan was out of my hands!  How could you think I would be so foolish?

A'dam should be amen, been before and had a grrrrrreat time  ;D

No other solution than coming to the PQ in April and Le Mans Classic in July  ;)

Pre Qual !!!  By jove I think you've got it !!

Nice darts Gilles bloody good idea, you may have planted a seed !!! :)

But once you have a taster from PQ, youi will need the full on of........

Alternatively, drive to the wedding in a good ol' Humvee to greet the guests before coming on to Le Mans.................

Mark

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In life, there is a solution for everything! You might wanna post a pic of the bride to convince me coming over for some serious shagging. I'll bet there will be no marriage in June, at least not in your family...  ;D

Braketest

Dear Planman

Apologies for the delay in replying but this matter has only just been brought to my attention.

This is indeed a dire state of affairs and as a past master of avoiding such disasters I hope I can be of some use and even comfort.

Is it absolutely and totally requiring of your prescence?

How many months of spouse-silence would you like?

All is not lost however as there is still ample time for a few of Baldrick's cunning plans:

First off, there is the obvious knobbling of the aforementioned event potential. Several opportunities arise in addition to the moral blackmail it appears you have already tried. The most obvious of which is the coup de grace of making sure the groom gets up to some very dubious but photogenic practices in Amsterdam. The best part about this is assuming you have time to get the aforementioned evidence developed, scanned and distributed, the inevitable nuclear fallout and calling off of wedding is unlikely to be reconciled until after the original weekend.

I believe the art is called brinksmanship.

You know it makes sense!!

Good luck and best regards.

I expect, therefore, to see you again at the "Fathers" Swimming Pool on MB in June!!

Cheers

Rick

We could always arrange a kidnap?  We would need suitable disclaimers and paying in advance, but sure a blacked out commer, and group of blokes in balaclavas could nab you off the street days before the weekend in question?

I seem to remember a japanese couple couple getting married at the race.
This could solve your problem, get them to put up a marquee in one of the campsites and we could all come.

Dear Planman

Apologies for the delay in replying but this matter has only just been brought to my attention.

This is indeed a dire state of affairs and as a past master of avoiding such disasters I hope I can be of some use and even comfort.

Is it absolutely and totally requiring of your prescence?

How many months of spouse-silence would you like?

All is not lost however as there is still ample time for a few of Baldrick's cunning plans:

First off, there is the obvious knobbling of the aforementioned event potential. Several opportunities arise in addition to the moral blackmail it appears you have already tried. The most obvious of which is the coup de grace of making sure the groom gets up to some very dubious but photogenic practices in Amsterdam. The best part about this is assuming you have time to get the aforementioned evidence developed, scanned and distributed, the inevitable nuclear fallout and calling off of wedding is unlikely to be reconciled until after the original weekend.

I believe the art is called brinksmanship.

You know it makes sense!!

Good luck and best regards.

I expect, therefore, to see you again at the "Fathers" Swimming Pool on MB in June!!

Cheers

Rick

Rick - Dude - so long and yet no speak!!

Jesus - I have been a busy button!!

Well, as you know, I'll not be with you brothers this year, but only in spirt (hic), well I handed the "Planman" challis over to "Big X".  No no, I think I shall rename him "Big Mistake"!!  we are what, February!!  He asks me, NOW, what campsite do I book for the boys if I want power?  I have not stopped pissing myself!!  He has made no booking, or enquiry until now with the ACO, that all loveable totally relyable outfit!  Put it this way, Big X isn't going to be big for very much longer :0))

Any way, I trust you, the Fathers, and all others going this year, will do the pilgramage proud?  Sink a couple of bottles of shampoo for me whilst chilling your feet in the fathers pool there's a good chap!

Efforts to spit the family marriage so I may attend this year are still ongoing.  She -who-must-be-obayed keeps telling me, de Nile an't just a river in Egypt!!

The Planman

So there is a glimmer of hope then!

It just happens to be my 40th on raceday Sunday, so another excuse (if you need any!) to get your feet in the Fathers' pool. Family wedding? Hmmm..... There must be a better way (to quote the Nat West ad!).

 ;D