Club Arnage

Is anyone else planning on going to London on Monday for the World Cup Winners parade?? If so, does anyone fancy a pint afterwards??  :)

Yes and yes.

Where and when?

I was thinking of somewhere around Trafalgar Square??  I'll do some research and come up with a couple of possible venues.

Count me in, I assume it'll be mid afternoon ish.  I'll wear a red carnation.

I believe the parade starts at Marble Arch at 12.00 noon. Initially they have said it should get to Trafalgar Square for about 13.00. I can see it taking a little longer though depending on crowd levels.

Just let me know where and when, T Square sounds good, or Soho area?

I am easy to spot; I'm absolutely gorgeous.

I was just going to look out for the Commer!!   ;D ;D

Are vintage vehicles excempt from the Congestion Charge??  ;)

Anyone know what the actual route is.  I work in the general area

It will begin at Marble Arch, proceed down Oxford Street and turn right into Regent Street. The buses will then travel down Haymarket and are expected to reach Trafalgar Square at 1300.

Some details on the route
http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/topstories/display.var.436701.0.london_parade_for_world_cup_champions.php

and some suggestions for a pub
http://www.viewlondon.co.uk/home_feat_10things_victoryparadebars.asp

I'll be the one in an England shirt  ;D

OK, now this lot moves almost right passed my office.  Is there any point in me scouting a drinking venue that might be just a bit less crowded?

Good idea.  I suggest you carry out some intensive investigations  ;)

Excellent idea Gibberish, thanks for offering.

I was going to suggest The Walkabout at Shaftsbury Avenue but that might be rubbing it in their noses a bit!!  ;D ;D ;D

Will do Steve.  Is it preffered to find a pub where you might stand a chance of getting to the bar (if that's going to be possible at all) or one that's very close to the route?  I'd suggest somewhere close to Oxford Circus tube station as this is on the junction of Oxford Street and Regent Street.

We need two pubs: One for prior to the parade and one to retire to after. Doesn't seem much choice round Regents/Oxford tho Gibb, but hope you find somewhere.

OK phase one of the research starts in a few minutes.  Have to disagree though Andy, theres plenty of pubs and bars around, it's just a matter of choosing the right ones. ;D

Trouble is, most of the pubs in this area are aimed at tourists and you pay the price of crap beer and a room full of people with camera and guide books.

How about a Wetherspoons such as on Charing Cross Road or somewhere in the back of Soho like Beak Street or Wardour Street ?

Know what you mean Steve but it's hard to get away from.  However, the day itself should make the silly tourists run for cover for a while :D

Most of the pubs in the immediate vicinity (as visited today) only open at 12.00, (and no special arrangements for Monday ???) so I might suggest an initial meeting place as the Argyll Arms which is very close to Oxford Circus undergerground station, and opens at 11.00.  You wont get any tourists in there at that time!

As for a suitable retiring place, there are others to be had, but I'd welcome any suggestions.  Wardour Street isn't too far away, but if we have to plan for others who get lost, then something closer might be a better idea.  What think you?

Sounds good to me.  Is the Argyle down towards the Palladium?

It would make sense to exchange mobile numbers so that we can co-ordinate if we get delayed.

What say you all?

Yes Steve, it's just up from the Palladium, very close to Oxford street itself.  Mobile number available.  Will send via PM ;D

Gracias, I've PM'ed you.

Thanks Steve...........got it

Likewise, Steve and Gibber, you should have a PM. Looking forward to it, should get the week off to a flyer.

Are people intending to sink a few beers well into the afternoon? If so, will get a lift to the station in the morning, rather than take the car.  :P

Got it thanks Andy.  I will be at work in the morning (until about 11.30) then beer, beer, cheering, beer, beer, beer, beer...........Lift to the station sounds like a good idea ;D

Oh Sh*t sh*t sh*t....someone's just landed me with a bl**dy meeting at 11.30 on Monday..........Trying to get out of it :'(

I will have to be at work all day but would like to get out for beers at about 4.30. Anyone likely to still be about.

Rick.

Maybe Rick, but I don't think you'll get much sense out of us by 4.30! Let you know if you want my mobile No just in case.

I'm the same as Andy. Will probably still be there but not sure what sort of state |I might beb in by then!!  :D

sorry chaps, dont do london.....

Andy, Steve, gibberish, Rick, I've PM'd you all with my mobile number.

Hi DR

Why not try The Bell Inn at Ash or Petherton Working Mens Club!!!!!!

Wishy

 ;D ;D ;D

Know what you mean DR.  I have to work in the bl**dy place :(

When I worked for Evesham Micros they only sent me there twice....  second time I parked the car at Amersham and used the tube with a bloody great bag with computer parts/tools for the day.

Trouble is I'm a country boy at heart

As Dr Samuel Johnson might have said, "A man who is tired of Yeovil is tired of life".

Slight misquotation there Mr. Zarse ;)

Just been looking on the web the following link gives a map with the route on. Can anyone suggest where the CA group are likely to be. I should be able to get away from 1130 onwards ;D.

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/articles/8014980?source=Evening%20Standard

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Excellent research, are you suitably lubricated?

I know the Old Coffee House, nice place, but I'm sure its on BEAK Street.  

I'll have to dig out my falling over trousers.

Not that bad actually Steve.  Yes I know it's BEAK street, silly typing error :P

Do you fancy starting at the Argyll or The Old Coffeee house?

Argyll Arms first followed by the Old Coffee House (not for a cappachino!)  ??

Sounds goot to me..................Andy,  JP, how about you guys?

Suits me Sir. Will be at the Argyll Arms about 11.30ish, assuming I can get away from work in a timely fashion. If not, will be at the Coffee House pronto. I've got all your No.s so will keep you posted on the day.

I think JPC is intending to be at the Argyll too.

Not for a cappuchino? Double expresso latte for me! :-*

Oh you ancient yuppie, you'll have a beer and like it :D

I'll try and post an update on Monday morning when I see what sort of chaos is brewing as I arrive for work.  should be about 09.30

Argylle Arms before the parade and The Coffee House after the parade (possibly followed by a few more??) sounds good to me. I'll aim to get to teh Argylle between 11.00 and 11.30.

Just got leave, whoppeeeeee!! Should be at the pub at 11.20. ;D

I'll see you at the Argyle.

Chaps!! Very slim (unlike me!) chance that I might be in attendance (with Mrs. R in tow if permitted?).

Know the Argylle well. Attendance depends on ability to get the kids picked up from school by somebody and how much work I get done on Sunday evening. The joys of being self employed and working from home - the office is never far away!! Was in here til 4am Friday night/Saturday and another late one tonight (Saturday 23.20 and still some drawings to finish!!  :o ) Better get on with it then.

If anyone sees this in time, could they e-mail me contact phone numbers to rick@maisonblanche.co.uk just in case I don't make it to the Argylle in time.

 ;D

Cheers!!!

:)

WIGGIN WILL BE !!!  ;) ;)

Well done that man. I will be in there as early as I can (office meeting permitting).  Bald old fart in suuite and tie (office uniform don't you know) ::)  

Bugger! Bugger! Bugger!

Monumental stumbling block reared it's head late on Friday afternoon.  >:( >:( >:( Not sure if I can now make it. If I am there, I am there. If not... it's tough sh*t on me.

Carry on without me, I'll catch you guys up I hope. I have various phone Nos etc.

Fingers crossed!

Done, see you there ??

09.00 and the barriers have not been erected yet.  It looks pretty quiet at the junction of Oxford Street & Regent Street.  One or two hardy soles are already waiting, but it looks like Marble Arch and Trafalgar Square are the places to avoid.  Damned chilly up here this morning.  See you all later. ;D

The slim chance looked good yesterday but cock-up on work front (big bugger!!) means I stay in Lincolnshire and not gonna make it I'm afraid Gibb, will SMS Steve and let him know too. Give 'em a big shout for me!!

Cheers!!

Rick

Great shame Rick. Another time perhaps.

Just watched some of it on the telly - what a great atmosphere (bloody cold though I imagine!)

No telly and not there

really "ticked" off

 >:( >:( >:( >:(

Why a Monday.....

Jolly quiet in here today eh? All those lucky oiks standing around in the cold and in bars in London I guess. Expect a flood of "happenings" stories tomorrow  >:( ... me jealous? Surely not!!  ;D

Edited to say "no. 600!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  ;D

Saw the coverage on TV today - great scenes, and something to be proud of, but it did look bloody cold. Hope those of you who made it had a good time.

Did anyone see the nutters in the fountains at Trafalgar Square? I expect they will be all be suffering from hypothermia by now.

Quite right about the atmos[here, but not that cold actually (which surprised me as I'd worn about five layers)

And of course the pub had the heating on anyway.

Fantastic day!!  Only just got home in fact!!  :D

Yes, we had a damn good time and the weather was positively tropical.
Myself, Andy Z, Gibberish, Rick Cutler, JP Chenet and his stepfather then made a good try at drinking all the beer in the pub.
More later when I can remember it?

Excellent day, and one to be proud of.  Can hear myself telling the grandchildren if I ever get any.  Self and Zarse cleared off a bit before the others.  Zarse last seen heading for Kebab shop in Three Bridges, later to send text message to the effect that Kebab seemed to be half medical waste, and half an old shoe!!!!!!  In my slightly hazy state, I could only reply  'Excellent'   ::)

I was very good day in London, I didn't feel the cold but then speed drinking probably helped. I am not sure if the full effects of drinking for 12hours with rugby and Lemans'ers has taken place yet (still feel drunk at 9am). Kelli an American studying something in Spain but here on Holiday walked me in my drunken stuper back to Paddington with three minutes to spare for the last train. Managed to get a phone number and several of here friends numbers as well as her email address!

We all thought that we should arrange to meet up after work in London or a more suitable place for a few beers in the near future. I will start a new thread when I have got over last night!

Rick  ::)

Hey Rick glad you made it OK.  Any idea what happened to JP?

What a great atmos, the thing I most remember was seeing not so much the players as the Cup itself.

Crikey, did we really drink that much without eating so much as a peanut between us? In the true Le Mans drinking tradition I suppose. And it was especially nice to see there were no slackers and no tippers.

Steve, hope your wife enjoyed our company, it can't be much fun to meet us pissheads after a hard day's slog at the office.

JPC what time did you leave? You seemed remarkably sober.

Gibber, do us a favour when you get to Three Bridges station tonight. Cross the road and have a look at the traffic light control box and see if there is still any sick on top of it. I leant against the box to eat my large donner, resting my elbow on the top. Looking down, I was perterbed to see that my elbow and forearm were resting in (yet another) pool of spew that someone had been so thoughtful as to park there.  >:( Whilst it didn't actually stop me finishing my kebab, it did somewhat curtail my enjoyment of the repast and I also had to fight down some involuntary wretching of beery stomach acid.

Sick, eh, who needs it? ???

Rick and I went back to the Argylle Arms and drank with a group of guys from Leicester (who know Martin Johnson and are going to his house for dinner in the new year)  Rolled out of there at closing time to wander off and get the last train.

As Rick said, we were also joined by Kelli, a mature student (well.....27) from California who is studying Spanish in Madrid who was visting our fair Capital City for a long weekend with some girlfriends (who unfortunately didn't make it to the pub) Quite a fun girl, she was proud of her cleavage in that it could support a mobile phone (which if course we had to test several times   ;D  Phoned her mum in America too to say hi and invited her obver to the wedding but she said she wanted us to get married in California   :D

Don't know about that Andy, that's certainly not what my head is telling me this morning!!   :(

Well, it sounds like a grand day out boys, and no mistake.
I have to say, I'm still more than a little disorientated by jet-lag and incontinence; what's all this rugby business, have I missed something big?? All this talk of cups, cleavage and kebabs has me alternately dribbling, wretching, and of course rushing (sometimes successfully) to the lavatory and considering ephemera.
Has anyone got their tickets yet?.....
H

Yesterdays alchohol is just getting to me now.  Got the shakes working from home.  Will investigate the said lights as soon as possible, and report back.  You are a one for treading in, slipping on, and generally getting involved with puke :o

Well I am suitably jealous and miffed that I had to miss such a splendid time, but at least I feel in fine fettle this morn (very small and totally inadequate consolation).

Good to hear a jolly wheeze was had by all and a shame about missing Kelli's amazing performing cleavage!!!

My own tale of England connectivity (with a Madrid connection too) is that me ol' mucka, the one whose 40th w/end was in Madrid the other week, went to Uni with England coach Andy Robinson and apparently AR's party piece (or rather morning after party piece) was to dispose of the still boiling tea bag from the first cup of the day down people's necks! Class! Mike also used to share a flat at Luffy Uni with Dave Egerton who went to play for Bath (hence my support for such a distant club) and a few caps for our beloved national team too.

Well that's my 2 cents worth as a feeble attempt to compensate for not being there!! :(

 ;D

OK, investigation complete.  Accompanying me, this morning, on my short exploration of the complex traffic light system outside Three Bridges station, was Professor P Uke. Professor Emeritus of Forensic Sickology at Crawley University for the criminally drunk.  We examined all 12 of the control boxes, but were unable to find any remanants of sick.  At first we thought that Crawley Borough Council might have been round to clear it up, but this would imply an element of competence on their part, which simply does not exist.  

We were therfore forced to take swabs from all 12 boxes, and submit them to an examination in the field.  Proff Uke, having kindly brought along his field investigation kit, proceded to set up in the middle of the traffic light crossing outside the Kebab house.  This was thought to be the most likely venue for the suspected puking incident.  After 30 seconds of intensive analysis there were still no signs of last nights supposed puke.

However, Proff Uke did manage to find microscopic particles of clinical waste, which supports Mr Zarses assertion that he was there.

We were forced to the conclusion that one of two theories was possible:

1     The puke had been thorougly cleaned up.
2     It was never there in the first place.

In support of theory 1 it's always possible, but then so is anything!

If theory 2 is correct, we must suspect the workings of Mr. Zarses mind.

I personally lean to a private theory that it was licked up by one of the professors students in an attempt to get closer to his studies.

Sorry Andy.........nothing there :D

Sounds like it all ended up on Andy's elbow and forearm them  :(

...in line with current legislation - hands free, I trust

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My dear Zarse

Thank you for that kind acknowlegement.  It all started in junior school when I used to volunteer for sick patrol, but that's another story.

I am, however, slightly miffed at your comments regarding my observational powers.  The van to which you refer has been there for years, and operartes as a mobile burger stall at the weekends when it can be seen to be surrounded by lots of pimple faced oicks at 1.00 in the morning, trying to get home from some night club or other.

It is to be regretted that my feeble knowledge of the illustrious Commer did not extend to understanding the relationship with Bedford.

As you say, Neitchian Logical Positivism would therefore tend to show that the sick was in fact there, and I unreservedly withdraw any aspertions that might have been directed at your mental abilities.

I would, upon reflection, tend toward the theory that whatever remained was lapped up by some depraved local.

Should you have any further need for analysis of, or investigation into, strange puddles of sick, I shall remain at your disposal.

Yours in pukedom

Gibberish (Doctor of puke studies)

Dear Professor Gibberish,

In view of your comments, I am prepared to accept your revised findings in all good faith.

Incidentally, I forwarded your paper to a Greek colleague, Dr Sikalopolopolis of the Athens Institute for Bile and Acid Reflux Disease and who has reminded me that:

There was an old man of Corfu,
Who fed upon ***t juice and spew.
When he couldn't get this
He fed upon p**s
And a bloody good substitute, too.

My colleague continues:

Coprophagous individuals are not unknown in this area of Sussex. A horrid baquet, yet such perversions do occur. In my paper entitled Pathology of the Mind (p.358), I write that the "smell and taste of of recycled chips and Bacardi Breezers are extremely vitiated, also hair, filth, live frogs, cockroaches, worms and other disgusting matters being swallowed with gusto". The practice is not common amongst the peoples of Horley; not yet at all events."


I think it is time to close this subject within at least hailing distance of a taste barrier.

I bow to your suggestion..................no more puking, well at least on this thread ;)

Yeah, ever so slightly OT too if I may add... :)

So, let the discussion on the victory parade continue!!!

Yes, most definately  :D Without her 'guidance' I'm sure I wouldn't have been back home even now.
I vaguely remember us both walking back to Oxford Circus tube to find the station closed.  So we set off towards Tottenham Court Road.
En route, the call of nature got too much and I had to dash into McDonalds facilities.  When I staggered back out onto Oxford Street, I couldn't see her anywhere.  So I continued on up the road, only to bump into her near the next station.
I needed a tube ticket, but I'm sure the guy behind the ticket window thought I was speaking swahili.

Any road up, we got back to Dagenham and, a real bonus, the car was still where I remember leaving it.
So, off up the A12, with a short interuption at a layby for another slash.

I thanked my wife for meeting me and driving me home after the pub this morning.  Her loving reply was "Steve, you were pissed as a rat".
Ho hum.   ;D

Enough is enough! For pity's sake, can't something be done to curtail the vile and incidious postings of A Zarse esq.

Common decency and good taste must prevail.

I call upon the powers that be to restrain this unholy renegade.

I propose that a cease and desist order be served upon the blaggard, preventing him from posting any more pictures of knackered old vans, mini-buses, motorhomes and totally decrepit and f**ked-up commercial vehicles on this website.

His dabbling and paddling with the stomach contents of others is both creative and entertaining.

His malevolent images of 60's rot-boxes are tiresome in the extreme. Have a care, man! Allow those bastard spawn of Rootes Group to sink back into the primordial ooze, from which they crawled.

We're all just trying to brighten up your day Matt  ;D

Excellent post Matt but WRONG WRONG WRONG ;D

Some of this went on No doubt
       Click here: http://fun.drno.de/flash/beer.swf

Just to clarify the structure of the limerick, ****t juice  ;) is of course fruit juice. I know the beer drinkers are sometimes offended by this foul language, hence the ****.

There is an alternative ending to the limerick too. If I post it here, it may cause more mild offence. Anyone fancy a poll to see if it should be posted?

Thanks for the clarification Andy, I was wondering what it meant... :-\

If the alternative ending is likely to cause mild offence even to hardened CA visitors then it's probably best left till you can tell us all in the flesh, next June! Please!

Why, why, why Gib? Go on, thrill me with your acumen? (I'm on a bit of a movie quote trip, at present)

Sorry Matt, just trying to lend a little support to the aforementioned rot boxes ;)

Gibber - don't apologise, for f**k's sake! I think the whole Commer van thing has been hilarious. I suspect that if we diverted the energy we collectively expend in entertaining each other on this website to honest work, we'd be a commercial force to be reckoned with.
I occasionally participate in a couple of other forums, (corvetteforum.com and dodgeforum.com) and in the main, they are a pain in the arse - either getting so technical on modifications or fawning to each others postings for fear of being un-pc. Critiscising other peoples posts (I believe it's called 'flaming' - although I'd always thought a 'flamer' was a screaming knob-jockey) is seriously frowned upon in US forums.
I think it's all part of the fun. There are some seriously talented people who contribute to this forum, who's wit and skill with words is spectacular - a bit of gentle piss-taking - and arguing an opposing view, is fun and funny.
If you think I'm a twat for taking the piss out of Andy's van - say so - I'm not going to get all mardy about it.
Am I alone in my thinking on this?

Your words are appreciated Matt, and I certainly didn't think you were being serious (as you say, it isn't that sort of forum).  Problem with the written word (even with smilies) is that it can't always convey the right emotion unless you are a serious wordsmith.

Totally agree that the commer is a very serious topic (er.... did I mean that?) and one that gives us all endless enjoyment.  Even if AZ does send me out on field trips to examine traffic lights  ;D

Shame about the PC on your US forums, must be a right pain at times ::)

Matt,

You are so right about all this. All the folk on here are people I am priveleged to think of as friends.

Generally, life has been pretty kind to me over the years, but ever since I turned forty in Sept, the Devil has been dealing the cards to both me and those nearest and dearest in my life. I'm sure he's pulling cards from up his sleeve, cos our hand seems to include the hilarious three card trick of deaths, divorces and diseases (including, but not limited to, breast cancer, skin cancer, diabetes, terminal brain tumour etc). I mean just how f**k*ng unlucky is it for a keen sports fan to be rushed into hospital for emergency brain surgery at the precise moment England are going for final glory? But no, it happened to someone I know and it's too hard to take.

I can honestly say there have been times when I have wondered whether it is all worth it. Now, I'm not going to say that being on CA has saved my sanity, but certainly, the smile you guys have (and I single out no one in particular) frequently put on my facehas helped to stop me cracking up. Thanks guys, I'll buy you a beer at LM.

Thinking about it, this pisspoor run of luck all started when I went Belgium and drunk a Grimbergen. For God's sake don't touch it. I knew no good would come of it.

Finally, along with all the assorted shite and detritus that seemingly lands on my doormat each day, there was an envelope this morning from the ACO confirming my request for  3 x MB Camping. See, there IS light at the end of the tunnel.

Merry f**k*ng Christmas.

Zarse

PS In view of the film quotes thread, "We are living in a world of sh*t". -  Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket

Or even to Life of Brian and "Life's a piece of sh*t, when you look at it (etc....)"

(Cue whistling!)

Or back to Animal House (again)

"Holy sh*t"
"There were blanks in that gun"
"Holy sh*t"
"There are blanks in that gun"
"Woooaaaaaaa"

Sounds like Andy Zee and those around him have had a pretty tough year. It's easy to overlook the fact that behind our 'forum masks', which give us the facility and freedom to stand on a virtual stage and voice our opinions, humour and angst to an audience of circa 500 members and God alone knows how many others, we're all regular, fragile human beings (with a few exceptions, maybe). How many of us could stand up in front of 500 people and convey our views, jokes and philosophies on life, as well as we can and do, via a keyboard and an internet connection. It's a remarkable thing.
Listen to me, I'm giving you pearls here.
Shitty things happen to us. The world often sucks. Our bosses f**k us over. People we trust, betray us. Water pumps fail and our lottery numbers aren't worth a carrot.
Perhaps that's why we have things like Le Mans - and Christmas. For me, the good times we create for ourselves usually outweigh the crappy ones that are dumped on us.
If Mr Zarse has been cheered by this forum, when he's been blue, that's great - because he's put a lot more into this CA thing than he's taken out
 (send the cheque to the usual address Andy)

Err..........heartfelt words man.  Nice weed today? ;)  There's only one thing that would have improvrd the victory parade, and that would have beed to show off the trophy ffrom the roof of the Commer :D

Some more good news, on saturday we are half way to Le Mans 2004 :D

Yipee..........only another 6 months of purgatory to endure.  Downhill slopes eh! :D

Gib, good picture  ;D

Cheers Steve.  It's only taken me 6 months to find one that works.  My son always likens me to Wylie, with him as the Road Runner.  Seems appropriate sometimes ::) ::)

Oh yeah Steve............does the rock on the head remind you of anything.  Like Tuesday morning for example ;D

Beg to differ Andy, my favorite in that movie was,

"Pile! You'd better unfuck yourself and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks, or I'll definately f**k you up!"

No you're not alone. You twat! Get mardy Matt, you're at your best!

Why I certainly have, Stanley! But only in as far as I felt was wise.

I have just got home from work an hour or so ago, after a long and shitty day. I have to say I am now sitting here with a can of ale, laughing my tits off at nothing in particular!

Meant to say, the postie also brought my copy of the England DVD. Top!

And yet it get's better! I'm on the lash in Newcastle tomorrow.

And we're closer to the next LM than the last.

Run, Forrest, Run!

Are you meeting up with Stu Andy???  If so, I'll warn the kebab shop owners now to look out for you and put a specail request in to the city cleaners!!   ;D

No JP, it wasn't my intention to meet Stu, but given the very rough weather experienced on the flight, I did wonder whether I might not meet him in his professional capacity as a fireman. Looking at the Background thread above, I see he "puts oot fires".

Just after we took off from Gatwick, the pilot of the 737 informed us that we should all keep our seatbelts on as we would experience "severe turbulence". He was not joking. It was all smooth going until we went into the final approach, which can be likened to the sensations felt when pissed up on a Le Mans fairground ride. I later learnt there was a gusting 60mph cross wind onto beam. At one point I am convinced we were actual flying along on our side, although it's hard to tell with your eyes clamped shut. The engines were roaring up and down, the ailerons flapping up and down like good'uns.

The Captain, who was clearly a sadist with a death wish, was advised by one my fellow passengers to "pull up man, fer christ's sake!". He ignored the advice and kept on going. Again we were on our side, this time decending about 900ft in about two seconds. Which is fair enough I suppose, but not when you're only 1000ft up to begin with. All the passengers screamed out loud, the nice Russian lady next to meet grabbed my knee and wailed "Make him stop!". I had visions of being introduced to Stu for the first time, whilst he sprayed foam on my blackened and smoking torso lying in a field.

Anyway, once you've landed, then the whole thing becomes one big joke. The captain stood at the exit to accept the plaudits from grateful passengers. I said to him "You bloody well enjoyed that you bastard!" He just grinned.

Did he have on a leather helmet, goggles and a handle bar moustache?
And was his name Nigel?

Only at the weekends, and it's then "Nigella"   ;)