Club Arnage

The ACO have a link to a petition on their webpage, maybe Gilles can explain the purpose, but it has online Yes/No voting and Google translates the questions thus:

YES - with an intelligent road safety policy, divided, responsible!

NOT - with a blind and not adapted repression!

I do wish they'd give some indication of which way they wanted me to vote....

Just asked one of the French chaps in the office, and it made no sense to him ::)

Try putting it through this


http://www.freetranslation.com

And it says

 Petition


BIG MOBILIZATION OF THE USERS OF THE ROAD WITH L’AUTOMOBILE CLUB OF L’OUEST

Yes : To a political intelligent road security, divided, person in charge!

No : to a blind oppression and adapted no

PETITION to MR. l’attention The President of the Republic

which means ???????

Gilles, over to you, or is this a strange dialect of French only spoken by web site translators ??

It's mainly lobbyists international technocratical dialect....

... akas "Brussels language"  :P

Can anyone translate "Brussels Language" (French variety) into English?  ;D

The Brussels Language is a dialect only spoken by a very tiny community within the EU. There is nobody outside this community who understands what they are saying or doing.   ::)

No one knows where they are spending either, the 90 Billion that enters there coffers yearly, has not been accounted for correctly for the last 9 years. ???

Oh please, come now that really is rather harsh - it is, after all, only 90% of their £70bn budget that they can't track.....

It means never bother with automatic translators. They are crap.

KPY , with my french its a god send.

You may not have rememembered but i had to get Gilles to ask for some more bread.......

I am not as good as you, although Lingua Phone is helping to over come that one....

Bonjour , Je Voudrais a petit peu du pain , monsieur.... :o :D

Isn't that one of those little keyboards that Rolf Harris used to advertise, and sounded like a dalek ???

Can't quite see how you can get one to speak French though.  Was Dr. Who shown on French TV??

Steve man, you've got all confused. The Rolf Harris machine is one of them Cunnilingus things.

Confused.........So when my wife asks me to give her that, what she actually wants is a quick electronic rendition of "Three Blind Mice" then ??

More than likely, if she is like most women, when their drunken, unshaven, husbands come back from the pub and want to indulge in a bit of playing of the old pink harmonica.

Telstar!

???? I must be doing it all wrong then  ;D

Nice one Zee-man, I'm hoovering that one up and claiming it as my own!

There's plenty more hilarious descriptions of the f*nny in Roger's Profanisaurus:

Horses collar
Pant hamster
Velvet sausage wallet
Furry bicycle stand
Placket
Cwm (from Welsh, meaning valley beneath the 13 amp fuse wire)
Monkey's forehead
Velcro triangle
also, one like a:

Window cleaner's pocket
Wizard's sleeve
Chippie's toolbag
Herby's bonnet
Billingsate box
Hangs like a sporran

Oh Zarse man.........the Velvet Sausage Wallet gets my vote ;D

I like the phrase "to munch on the fur burger" :P

I prefer "a horse eating oats". As in;

"Her Majesty Queen Victoria had not known a man since her dear Bertie had died. Brown held her tightly in her stong arms. Her body shivvered in pleasure, breathless passion racing to her fingertips. He put his hand in her camiknickers and it was like a horse eating oats..."

Extract from the Queen and The Ghyllie.

That's it! It finally happened - I actually sprayed coffee all over my monitor when I read this. I work in an open-plan office with cubicles and all of my colleagues thought I was having a seizure.
That is one of the funniest things I have ever read. (another being the horrifyingly graphic, "It was like a bulldog eating custard").
Well done Zarse, you slay me every time!
 

I particulary like the term 'Mapatasi' - as in map of Tasmania........


(look in the Atlas)

Tut,Tut, how does a thread named ACO petition, degenerate into womens private parts, answer, when zarsed.
see you big boy.
Pxxxxxxx

I can't claim credit for any of this, all from Viz comic. But I'm glad to have brightened up the miserable existence you no doubt endure in Florida in all that horrible sunshine.

Here's another from Lady Chatterlley's Lover by D H Lawrence;

"Mellors could feel his pulse racing, as Constance Chatterley pulled him down into the soft hay. They embraced passionately, hands grasping at clothes. They kissed heavily, his breath becoming ever quicker. She roughly undid his belt . Alas, he'd chucked his filthy yogurt in his pants."

Stop it.  People keep wondering why I laugh all the time :'(

Gib, you've obviously got nothing better to do.
So all these Viz gems, and more, can be found here:

http://www.viz.co.uk/profanisaurus/profanis.htm

You'd better warn those in ear shot of your impending laughter.  ;D

Aw sh*t the internet police (IT dept.) have blocked acces to that site on the basis that it is 'Adult' :'( :'( :'(

Okay, I've e-mailed a transcript of the 'A' page to you.  I don't know what the internet police will do with it though.

Got it.  thanks Steve

Going back to the lovely subject of axe wounds, how about the Chamber of Squelch, courtesy of Gaz in "Two Pints"?

 ;D

Hmmmm...should I laugh or moderate?

Being the proud owner of a copy of the Profanasaurus as well, I will laugh...but please bear in mind this is supposed to be a family-friendly site...

 >:( All these posts upset me  >:(

I'm frustrating not understanding your "cultural" references and local expressions  :-[

Join the club Gilles.  Most of us don't understand what we are talking about anyway ;D ;D ;D

I did wonder if I had crossed the taste barrier. Better quit while we're ahead.

Sorry Gilles, I'm afraid there's not too much 'culture' involved in these expressions  ;)

Anyway, back to the topic, what was the ACO Petition about anyway  ???

NOBODY KNOWS ::)

it seems to be just a general mobilisation against car accidents...
... this is the sort of petition you can't be against the principle.

I hope you'd better understood the Saving Montlhery Petition and that you signed it !  :o

Yes, Gilles, I've signed for Montlhery.

What is the current situation with Montlhery?

No idea at present time, but the closure to public events stay the main issue  :-[

Most of classic car and moto events are moved to Dijon for 2004, except the (last) Grand Prix de l'Age d'Or.