Title: English to be the official language of the european union!!
Post by: knetter on June 27, 2011, 02:59:14 pm
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
Title: Re: English to be the official language of the european union!!
Post by: Kpy on June 27, 2011, 06:00:27 pm
Bit slow off the mark aren't we knetter ?
http://www.clubarnage.com/forum/index.php?topic=1455.0
http://www.clubarnage.com/forum/index.php?topic=1455.0
Title: Re: English to be the official language of the european union!!
Post by: Steve Pyro on June 27, 2011, 06:09:14 pm
Bloody hell, you've got a good memory Christopher.
Title: Re: English to be the official language of the european union!!
Post by: Kpy on June 27, 2011, 06:33:41 pm
Bloody hell, you've got a good memory Christopher.
Or just a head full of useless information ;)
Title: Re: English to be the official language of the european union!!
Post by: Andy Zarse on June 27, 2011, 09:20:48 pm
What ho KPY take it you're feeling more chipper than at LM?
Title: Re: English to be the official language of the european union!!
Post by: SpriteII on June 29, 2011, 02:24:14 pm
1985 would like its joke back please. I'm sure the first time I saw this it was on a fax.
Title: Re: English to be the official language of the european union!!
Post by: knetter on June 29, 2011, 04:22:24 pm
Ive never seen it before and thought it was dead funny, sorry for any inconvenious caused ;D
